It's a nice different kind of story. My only critique is to label which pov we're reading through. Other than that I look forward to more of your work

uhhhhhh... continue? pretty please?

Oh my I really enjoyed the narration of both Thancred and Yshotala. Please continue the story, you have a follower here!

Intersting - I hope you continue!

More please? :3 I love Thancred and its ever so hard to find any fanfiction with him that isnt based on someone's own adventures. Anyway, I really enjoyed this! You should definitely continue!

You know something Thancred, Y'shtola, Yda, and Papalymo all claim they are from Sharlayan you might as well consider that in your calculations

I remember being very surprised a few months ago to find that there was NO FFXIV fanfic that involved the actual characters. I guess it makes sense that most people who play MMOs would rather write about their own characters, but... none whatsoever?

So I think it's lovely that you're writing some, and I have a very soft spot in my heart for Thancred (and a nearly-as-soft one for Y'shtola) that makes me hope that there will be more of this fic forthcoming. It's not canon, but I wouldn't let that get in the way of things.

One grammar issue: the sentence "But I am no idiot and it soon became clear that she was doing what brilliant minds do best: she was expanding it." It took me a re-read or two to figure out what the 'it' was, because there's no explicit reference to Y'shtola's mind.

But yeah, followed, and I am looking forward to more.

Nice idea, but Y'shtola and Thancred were part of the Circle of Knowing under Louisoix before they ever met Minfilia, who headed a separate organization called the Path of the Twelve. This could work as an AU, though, if Y'shtola was never part of the CoK.