It was good! The girl was weird and I sort of wished I knew who she was. I didnt know Yasu was a real game character! One question though...did the girls soul get stolen and thats why shes eerie or does she still have her soul?

This is a cool idea and you handle it very well. You do a great job at making her seem unsettling and eerie without going overboard. I particularly liked the description Yasu's relief when she walked on.

However, there are many spelling errors, which seriously detracts from the story.

The end is really good too.