The biggest thing that stands out in Implosion is how clearly the reader gets inside the protagonist's head - for the most part, we're quite effortlessly guided through the character's thoughts and internal debates. Although a bit unexciting, such tends to be the nature of slow-paced, thoughtful stories anyway. I personally picked up that White Spy seems to be depressed, or at least horribly worn out, and so in my interpretation of the story I mostly treated White Spy as such. He's fairly relatable and quite a real character, which is what gives Implosion much of its merit.

Implosion does leave a bit to be desired in terms of grammar (unnecessary switches in tense are the standout grammar issue) and flow, but the story does well in having a good mix of casual and serious: casual enough to make the reader close to White Spy and serious enough to really bear down on and pass on White Spy's feelings to the reader. The tone was also set up well and it's carried along quite consistently.

If there's anything that I'd suggest definitely considering editing, it's making the bit about the main character's suspension a bit more pronounced - or at least editing the line "Things were going to change today," as it prepares the reader for an *entirely* radical turn in the story like aliens landing or White Spy turning into a rhinoceros that isn't actually there. In other words, it sets up this anticipation for something that the story doesn't offer, and all it does is disappoint the reader later.

Nonetheless, Implosion is well-written!

That fish's eye is really yellow.

Quick thoughts: fishhooks - humiliation - inferno - nestles

I like his puppet politics and his initial humiliation retaliation before he resorts to cheap alcohol. Then I kind of lost the plot. I regained it with "strong liquor" and a "low caloric intake".

You're right. He does need to go to bed, and snuggle in with his nestling blankets.

Best, I like his confusion at the end between the mirror and the window - hazy light, I think - before he goes to sleep to John Lennon.

This story has some really powerful visuals. I particularly liked, "...rubbing his eyes vigorously until he feels they might start oozing out of their sockets" The grammar and spelling are all excellent and the language that you used really helped us to see into the world of the white spy.

I've been a long time fan of Spy vs. Spy ever since I was a child. It was always hilarious to me. When I saw this story, and just had to begin reading it. The pace of this is excellent, and it's funny. Its like one strip stretched into 2500 words.

This is wonderfully written, and it's absolutely awful that it hasn't got any reviews before now. I can only assume that it's because it's in an uncommon fandom.

Your prose is elegant and sophisticated and a pleasure to read. I absolutely love how you've taken the tone of the original and while not subverting it, you've expanded on it and taken it almost into another genre. Excellent characterisation (although stylistically I found there were a few too many sentences starting with "he" for my tastes) and SPaG was almost pristine ("he was serious about coming back stronger" is a fragment, so no need for the capitalisation of "he.")

Some fantastic imagery. I'm particularly fond of "rough cotton fibre attaching itself to his bare skin", and the last image of the "black-eyed and spectral John Lennon."

This absolutely deserves more reviews, and as such, if you don't object I'm adding it to the Reviews Lounge, Too archives. Feel free to pop into the forum and say hi to everyone :)