it's nice and such a relieve. I love the story.
But some worda kinda ... wrong in spelling and it will be better if you add a punctuation in the end of the dialog

I dont need to cut you some slack, because it's already amazing! If you didn't tell me, I would of thought you were a master at writing FMA fanfictions.

Aw so cute! I did see some mistakes but other than that it's really good.

It was half crappy half awesome

Gaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! I haaaaate cliff hangers with a burning passion! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

That's was sooo beautiful. I almost cried but I didn't want to randomly cry in front of my family so yeah. Love the story! Keep up the good work

Wow, I thought you were exaggerating when you said you didn't care how this turned out. I can blatantly tell from reading this... I'm sorry I did really. It was a good idea but obviously poorly executed!

Gotta make this fav story! XD

This story line was awesome! I would like to say, however, your structure was very hard to follow... Many comma splices (as I believe they're called..). Despite that though, good story!

Aww, I'm so glad it turned out to be a happy ending! It doesn't suck at all! Thanks for sharing this great fic with us :D

The reason for writing is to ACCENTUATE beginnings. It would draw it out, create suspense.
:/
all in all, this sucked, EVEN for a first time.

Uhh, this looks a LOT like another story called Shadow Of A Doubt by Bookwrm389, albeit less well-written. I hope you didn't steal the idea :/
(and you better not even try the whole they copied me" when their story was posted 3 years before yours)

Very cute!

I liked the story is was well writen and overall enjoyable. Good job! :D

This is a good idea, but there are a lot of grammar mistakes its something beta reader could really help with, i would be willing to do it but i wont be near a computer the next 10 days.