Thank you so much for writing this story! Even if it is never updated I absolutely adored the way you perfectly captured Zen and Shirayuki's thoughts! Best Akagami no Shirayukihime story I've read so far!

On Chapter 2, and so far I'm loving it! You are doing a great job of explaining things that left me confused in the show.

Though I'm only on chapter 5, I have been enjoying this fanfiction immensely! You have a very neat way of (re)writing this story, it's really fun! :D
Also, I think the little tid-bits that you add on at the end, or your side-notes I guess (lol), are super kind and really cool! I can tell that you really cherish your friends! They're very lucky! :)
Thank you very much for being so wonderful and for writing this fanfic! （）
Please keep up the good work~!
-Sara

I love this! It follows the general plot,but you've expanded on some of the ideas and we get to see more into each characters' thoughts. Wonderful writing!

You are not doing this fiction anymore?

well, in chapter 2, there's something that doesnt make sense: Zen heard a woman's voice, and it looked like she was alone. Why would she be talking if she is alone?

I think this idea is really cute! I usually don't care much for 'retelling' fics, but you are doing it in a really cool way that gives more insight into a possibility of the characters' thoughts :) Please continue! I love reading new ANS fics, considering there are so few of them :)

It's brilliant! can't wait for more!

You've done a really good job portraying the story through the eyes of Zen and Shirayuki!
I can't wait to read more!

"Hands flying up to..." for some reason, the site broke your sentence. It's done it to me before.

That analogy of hated vegetables to poison was a killer (pun not intended.) Very clever writing x

Really love Shirayuke in this chapter, and the continuing motif of the red hair. You've fleshed out Zen really well, too (though I can't compare him to canon because I'm blind in that respect :) )

Only one thing that jumped out at me: "His eyes were filled with a small bit of curiosity, and she bit her lip gently, trying to think of a legitimate reason." "Filled" seems to belie "small", so I'd pick one or the other and run with it :) The biting of her lip seems to be a bit of a fanfic cliché, but that's completely subjective so I wouldn't say it's bad or wrong or that you shouldn't keep it- just thought I'd point it out :)

Great stuff.

Another excellent chapter. The only thing I have for concrit is that "conveniently..." well, comes across as a little bit *too* convenient, perhaps? That whole section could easily be expanded for more detail, which might suspend disbelief a little better. Otherwise, excellent work x

I'm not familiar with the fandom, but this is a stylish and beautifully written fic. I particularly love the rhythm of your prose. Outstanding work x

Just too lazy to log in properly. I love, love, love this manga, and I really like how you are interpreting it. _ Very good. Can't wait for more!