I feel a bit late, but...update?

This. This is what dreams are made of.

I have had this story sitting on my favourites for the longest time and I never got down to reading it (I'm a negligent worker and an even worse reader), but, gosh, I'm so glad I finally did. This is truly beautiful, and even though it never got a second chapter, I feel the need to review it.

Handa is just perfect. It might be sheer coincidence or luck, but this is exactly how I have always imagined Handa as an adult, and it made me so happy to see that someone else shares my thoughts, too. Handa is often portrayed almost as a cool guy by fans, and I'm not denying he can manage to be cool, but not without dealing with a fair amount of time being a loser. That's my favourite part of him, so I'm glad you took that point of view!

But let's try to leave my bias aside and look at it objectively. Like the character portrayal or not, I must pinpoint that I truly liked how you described all those little failures of his daily life. The series of events were complex at times, but the way to narrate them was so direct and effective! I tend to get lost when books describe action scenes, so I was surprised when I found myself flowing along the text with no troubles. Seeing how much I personally struggle with those, I can only applaud you.

The only thing that stains those otherwise beautiful paragraphs is the fact that you tend to confuse "I" and "he" in long paragraphs. It's a rest Handa is alone for the most part, so you can figure out that "he" is actually talking about him, but it could be a real nuisance if it happened while he interacts with someone else. There are also one or two typing mistakes, but both things are easily solved, so no harm done.

The story itself had such a good concept, too! I love stories that don't revolve around ships. I love stories that fill in gaps that were never explained in the games, manga or anime. And I love stories that actually have football as a main point, or at least acknowledge its existence beyond Endou screaming "sakka yarouze" (goodness, it IS a football franchise, after all!). Handa fighting Mako to become KFC's coach sounds like a great plot, and I love—and, at the same time, I hate—all those cliffhangers you added. I wish at least you had given us the name of the little girl Handa met at the subway, so she wouldn't just look like a NPC, but I guess that was part of the mystery, ha ha. And it's actually funny, to top it all! Humour is such a hard thing to pull off, but you did make me laugh. I wonder if you struggled to write those parts or they just came to you.

Oh, and one last thing: I was so pleasantly surprised to see you remembered Aida was KFC's coach. The original Inazuma Eleven often gets forgotten about even when they are relevant to the subject, and it's so very sad.

Gosh, I'm rusty even at leaving reviews. I'm sure I'm forgetting about something here and I'll remember it five minutes after publishing it, but this is all I can think of right now. All in all, let me just say that you thought of a fantastic plot and that I really enjoyed the little you wrote. I'll follow your story, just in case you ever feel like writing a second chapter. I'll definitely be overjoyed if you ever do so.

Great work!

Interesting... I like your idea.

I'm going to write it here too but I really love your fanfiction!
Keep it going!