Hi there! This was a really beautiful look into the family dynamics of the Winchester clan. It’s always made me sad that they’ve never delved into the early years more in depth. We have a few glimpses but that’s it. You do such a fantastic job at crafting all three Winchester’s here (and Bobby, though he’s nothing but a voice on the phone). You have John, the stern but resolved hunter who wants to protect his boys from the monsters he knows are out there. You have Dean who is in charge keeping Sammy entertained while John is driving or thinking about a case. And then you have Sam, lively as any small kid who kicks the seat in order to get his brother to read a story he’s read a dozen times before.

I love that you connect the shtriga that almost sucked Sam’s life away with the vampires that hunt Elkins. It not only connects the future where we know they hunt the vampires after they kill Elkins but also sets the stage for when Sam and Dean hunt down the shtriga that John and Dean didn’t kill when they had the chance. It also establishes how the monsters hunt the hunters as actively as the hunters hunt them.

John recalling what the shtriga almost stole from him is so poignant and shows why he is such a drill sergeant. He’s lost Mary to something he doesn’t understand, is hunting things he didn’t used to believe in, and he’s a single father of two growing boys. His fears are understandable and relatable. He’s all that is standing between his boys and the monsters. When he can’t be there, it’s on Dean. So when he says to Dean,(("I told you to watch out for your brother,")) despite them being in a diner and relatively safe, we know it’s less a reminder for Dean and more of an assurance for John that his boys will be safe.

I think the most powerful line for me was John pulling the paper Dean discarded from the garbage and looking at those ((Four hundred and sixty-eight)) marks as ((a damning indictment against a father who'd been careless with his children's lives.)) The general belief is that John was a terrible father because of how he raised his boys in the life rather than giving them a solid home and stability but they didn’t see how much it hurt him to do it. It wasn’t an easy decision and he carries a lot of guilt and regret for it but he really didn’t know what else to do. He did his best. Something you illustrate so beautifully.

This was a wonderful family piece. Fantabulous job!

The brothers' interaction in this oneshot was SUPER cute! I liked little Sammy's "Pancake Buddha" and his demanding set of instructions for reading "Hardy Boys." Frank is Dean and Joe is Sam. Now I wish I'd actually read more than one of the books more recently than when I was in grade school so I could actually remember if there's any significance to that. I was highly amused that Dean considers the plane crash scary while Sam doesn't though!

You do a great job with showing how rough John is on Dean - getting annoyed if he has to remind him to look after Sam more than once, making Dean read so Sam will stop bothering him - and how compliant Dean is with whatever he says, without making it overt. I'm still pretty new to the show, but everything I've seen so far makes me think you've captured their family dynamic really effectively.

The exploration of how habits can lead to becoming hunted was a great way to build suspense throughout the story, as was Sam's excitement over when it was time to "make a mark," without telling us what he means yet. It's such a simple way Dean has found to amuse himself and Sam that John's response almost seems like an overreaction, but when you consider everything he knows and the monsters that could potentially be after him and his boys, even the smallest detail could be important. It makes me sad that he discarded that paper, though, because Dean was really proud of it. Once again, his focus is only on safety, and he doesn't take his older son's feelings into account.

This was really well-written. Amazing job!

GOD THANK YOU. SO many MISS this aspect of Jon WInchester to focused on the daddy issues both Winchesters have to forget that Jon himself is a WINCHESTER OF GUILT AND REGRET AND WONDER!
and making him rage thing.
an experience with the hunting and existing living thing they do... and the experience of hasent been doing it FOREVER is just... well.
WInchester guilt and trying to HELP but also hurting... muhaha.
beautifull but even catching something like that as an aspect is wonderfull really.

also Bobby record keeper and maphunter sily man... lots of legitimate messes! and order!
gosh darn it I wanted a WInchester, Kevan, Charlie and Garth team up setting base to resurrect Men of letters but their OWN unique brand and take on it and ! alas.

Oh, wow, this was a great view inside John's head - painful as it must be, because he's trying and yet he's failing so badly. And the boys as little kids are so sweet and so themselves, Dean taking so much care, both for Sam, and for his father, too, and Sam so young but so bright. And reading Hardy Boys mysteries and swapping out the brother names, aww. A lovely mix of touching and hurt (and now I'm extra glad you reviewed me, very pleased to find more fic to read!)

I like that this story slips easily into missing parts of the canon storyline. You did a beautiful job of characterizing John. I get tired of the alcoholic/abusive/neglectful portrayals that seem so far removed from the relationships between John and his sons in the series; they leave something vital out of the equation that I think you really nailed down with this piece. I also admire the vehicle used to drive the plot (groaningly clumsy pun unintended, but once it was on the screen I had to leave it): a father idly listening in on his sons in their own little world, then realizing the implications of their score-keeping game.

Excellent story. So sweet and simple, yet it was written perfectly. Everyone was in character. Sammy was so cute XD. Thank you for writing!

Thanks. That was a nice slice of Winchester childhood.

Supernatural Fan Fiction Monthly Awards Review - December

You did a really good job of making Sam's comments about making a mark seem important, without giving away why it was, until near the end. The revelation to John about having a habit of eating at the same restaurant chain was very well done, and sent a shiver down my spine too, as i realized with John how bad that could be for him and his boys. You also showed how loving and attentive John was, which many other stories tend to ignore. Nicely built tension, which I was unaware of until I recognized John's unintentional pattern, and then the tension was released as he changed his routine. Bravo!

Supernatural Fan Fiction Monthly Awards- December 2015-
Oh- I really liked this! First of all, I admire the controlled writing, where no grammatical errors could be found. I liked the care you took to keep the characters true to life, and the manner in which you expressed the suspense of the Hunt entwined with the Family moments. You really do humble me with the way that you write.

Supernatural Fan Fiction Monthly Awards Review: December

True enough, patterns make you vulnerable - no matter which side of the supernatural fence you're on.

Your characterizations fell into what I would have expected for the timeframe. John's mind on the job, Sam being adorable and Dean on Sam duty.

Aside from a few punctuation errors, your story was formatted nicely and grammatically clean.

When I first started reading SPN fanfic, I avoided all the Wee-chester and Teen-chester stories. However, as time goes on, and a few started by accident, I have conceded to their charm especially those written by good authors who know how to weave a good tale.

This is one such story and I want to thank you for writing it and sharing it.

What a devastating discovery for a father to make: That an attempt to give his boys some familiarity and emotional security in life-a string of immediately familiar diners that would represent a form of "home" no matter where they were-actually created a recognizable pattern an enemy might use for attack. And so John's boys lose another grounding element in their young lives. Bittersweet-but so beautifully written!

It's so refreshing to read a very well written adult story that explores the life so thoroughly from an adult perspective. John was right - and wrong. The flipside to those ubiquitous chain stores is that you can't even tell what town you're in when you're inside one and if the monster was so close behind as to know the town, the car would give away the rest, pattern or no pattern. I really enjoyed the mental process. Thanks for writing!

How you portrayed John Winchester is perfect-caring, obsessed, terrified that he's in over his head but too stubborn to pull out anyway, with a misguided idea about keeping what remains of his family safe (which ends up laying the foundation for the destruction of that family when Sam leaves for Stanford). Great job!

Super-impressed with your writing ability, and your knack for sketching out characters...I really enjoyed this and will be reading more of your work!