The first sentence hella confused me a lot

"I woke up and as I did so turned on the television as I pushed my glasses onto my nose so I could look over my schedule of what I had to do today."

Yeah. Nope. Bye.

please update soon and can you please make them longer.

Okay, honestly, considering you started this story almost six years ago, maybe consider a rewrite? Your plot feels super jumbled and since it's been so long since you've updated, I have zero idea what's happening anymore and when I tried to start at the beginning to re-familiarize myself with this story, it was hard to get back into. Your OC is rather bland and easily forgettable, and the personality you showed in the first chapter left a bad taste in my mouth, and lets not forget about the incredibly OOC Dick Grayson in that first chapter.

And in the second chapter, well, Ally comes off as a huge Mary Sue. Why would Batman take some magical being on as a protege? That's not his area of expertise, and her certainly wouldn't hide it from his proteges. It doesn't make sense and is a huge OOC move on Batman's part. If you haven't noticed, all the members of the Batfam are powerless. You don't need to ruin that dynamic by adding in a superpowered character. There are other families you can add Ally into, such as the Zatara/Doctor Fate family, a family that can actually HELP Ally with her magic powers. The OOCness of Dick- and Barbara now- carried into chapter 2 as well, and Ally's freak out didn't make sense. Batman never kept any of his partners secret from each other.

The angsty 'I don'd want to be a member of the team so I'm going to be a dick to Dick' attitude is uber cliche and boring to read. Dick doesn't force people onto the team if they don't want to be there, and since Ally obviously doesn't want to be on the team- or even meet them- he wouldn't force her to join them. And why would she just run away? She saw one of the team's friends dying and just ditched? I get it was traumatic and unnerving, but why just run? It doesn't make sense.

Of course she's BFFs with Wally because that makes sense? You do a lot of telling, and not a lot of showing. It's not really working and is leaving me more confused as ever. This 'telling' leaves her relationships with everyone feeling incredibly forced and bland. Wally punching La'gaan was overkill, just like his outburst about Ally being the clone of Ivy was overkill and OOC. La'gaan knew of Artemis and her parentage, he wouldn't care about Ally being the clone of Ivy.

And if you're going to stick with the clone of Ivy thing, it doesn't make sense for her to have magic powers and foresight either. She's too overpowered and the abilities don't make sense.

The next few chapters just become even more confusing as you start rushing plot and throwing characters at us. Young Justice was pretty clear that you shouldn't spoil the future and that there would be consequences, but you introduce an army of future children and then send some of the team to the future where it's revealed who they marry/have kids with? That would put a HUGE damper on any future events and would ruin Dick and Ally's (honestly, nonexistent) relationship. Dick finding out he marries/has a kid with this girl who- at the time he learns all this- he doesn't have any romantic relationship with would cause the 19 year old to run. Plus, how do you expect your readers to care about future Dick and Ally (Lilly? why the name change?) and their kid if you've done NOTHING to create any semblance of a decent relationship between the two. It feels like they dislike each other and they just don't click in any sense whatsoever. I don't think Ally and Dick make a good or believable couple.

I have to say this but... Just because you dislike La'gaan doesn't mean you can make him OOC and have your OC attack him for no good reason. No one on the team is going to be okay with Ally or Wally just attacking him.

It's Lian, not Lain.

Your writing has definitely improved as your story progressed, but your plot and character development haven't. I've reread most of the chapters (skimmed parts here and there because you have some huge paragraphs that are hard to read through), and the plot moves so choppily and we hardly get the feel for Ally (Lilly?) except that she's some badass, angsty, overpowered character? You do nothing to develop her or her relationships, and then you suddenly throw in a future married with kid Lilly (Ally?) and Dick? The plot is jumbled and so confusing to read and keep up with. You start and drop plots like they don't matter (Ally being Ivy's clone?) and throw new powers at us (like why can she suddenly shoot fire) without proper explanation.

I really think a rewrite is your best option rather than continuing a confusing story with a poorly developed main character. I'm sure your writing skills and- hopefully- plot and character developing skills have improved over the past six years, but have you read your first few chapters? They're just not up to par and Ally feels like a cliche character we see over and over in this fandom, not to mention her relationship with Dick is incredibly lacking yet you want us to believe they get married and have a kid?

A more cohesive story and properly developed character might also help you with future writer's block.

In short: the plot is really confusing, Ally needs a lot of character development and a rework of powers, a lot of the canons are OOC (and creative liberties isn't a good reason for OOCness because it ruins the fun of YJ and the characters), and Ally and Dick's current and future relationship don't make sense and dynamically, they do not seem like a sound ship. If you want to keep them paired, Ally needs a serious personality rehaul.

Good luck, and apologies for the long review. I tried to give my best criticism by not nitpick everything.

this is freaking amazing! please update soon!

Hey there!
Really love your story, although sometimes I get confused about whose thoughts and feelings I'm reading. If you could do something that just says who's point of view it is, that would be very helpful.

Overall, awesome work so far!

I'm really enjoying this story so far and I look forward to reading more!

I'd recommend, if you're rewriting and this is rough draft or something, don't ship with Dick. Your character and him don't fit together at all and things seem rough.

She doesn't have much going for her...

So exciting and funny. Keep up the good work

Super cool

please update this story soon! please!

Zatanna's still a better character than the poorly developed character you have thrown at Dick in this fic :P

There's potential for this character, sure, but I've read all the chapters and she's poorly developed and doesn't fit with Dick at all.

Please post more i love this

This isn't very good to be honest... '

This is ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY COMPLETELY UTTERLY AWESOMELY AMAZINGLY COOLY WOWINGLY CATASTROPHICALLY SURPRISINGLY UNBELIEVABLY UNIMAGINABLY INCONCEVABLY EPICLY INDESCRIBABLY UNPUTDOWNABLE! Please continue soon!
-Jayla Fire Gal

What is this Mary Sue pile of trash you're writing?