It was good.

Hate to tell you there are no rhymes in this.

I'd LOVE to see that AU where Leslie's fed up with Frank being an asshole all the time and abetting to Buzz's bullying of Kevin. It might be an AU where Kevin runs away from home, fed up with all the unpunished mistreatment he suffered, including the unfair punishments he didn't deserve. Buzz and Frank would be only ones happy (if overjoyed any less) that Kevin is gone for good and Frank stupidly laughs at Buzz's cruelty and malice about him hoping Kevin will die. Leslie would divorce Frank, leaving neither a dime nor penny to his name, gain custody of all their children and would send their children away (sans Fuller) to private boarding school as punishment for them abetting to Kevin's mistreatment.

If Kevin was a mutant in the Marvel-verse, Fuller would most definitely be a mutant sympathizer, but Frank would be a mutant hater who'd be severely abusive to him for being a "freak" lover. I don't know about his siblings if they'd be other mutant haters or not, but I have a hunch Leslie would be another mutant sympathizer like him as well. If Kevin was a wizard in the Harry Potter universe, he'd think that Kevin being a wizard and doing magic is "super cool," but obviously, his father would abusively beat him for it, because Frank thinks that being a wizard makes Kevin a "freak." If Kevin ran away from home, he'd probably be very sad and heartbroken, whereas, Frank would be the complete polar opposite. If Kevin was adopted by either Tony Stark or Bruce Wayne (depending on which universe), he'd probably be sad that Kevin's gone and not living with his family anymore, but he'd also be happy that Kevin is presumably no longer suffering anymore either like how he did from his siblings', cousins', and father's mistreatment. And if Fuller was another mutant, Frank would most definitely disown him without an iota of guilt or remorse to the point of kicking him out of the house since Frank's an asshole who'd without a doubt be a mutant hater. And Fuller would be the only McCallister who keeps in contact with Kevin after he was adopted by either Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark (depending on which universe), Fuller would eagerly ask Kevin if he could get an autograph of some superheroes that he'd be a fan of via his respective adopted father(s) in whichever universe.

If Kevin was adopted by Bruce Wayne, then Bruce would do a background check on the McCallisters and discover Kevin's negligence of his parents and the severe mistreatment from his siblings, cousins, and uncle. Bruce would also do everything in his power to see to that Kevin never suffers from such a dysfunctional family again to the point of taking Peter and Kate's parenting rights away from Peter and Kate and deny any visits to Kevin for life via the Illinois family law court based on how they carelessly punished him for outlandish and unorthodox things that he's not responsible for, but his siblings and cousins. And maybe all of Kevin's siblings and cousins would get their just desserts of an overdue punishment they all so richly deserve. Leslie would divorce Frank, gain full custody of their children, leave neither a single dime nor penny to him, send all of their children to private boarding schools as punishment for their misdeeds, and bar his visitation rights of their children permanently because of how much of an asshole he is and that he abetted to Kevin's mistreatment. Frank might go insane to the point of threatening his ex-wife and turn to a life of crime, blaming all of his misfortune on Kevin and vowing to kill the "little jerk" and the Boy Billionaire for ruining his life.

If Kevin was adopted by Tony Stark, then Tony might also hear about the mistreatment Kevin suffered and his parents neglecting his wellbeing along with unfairly punishing him for things his siblings and cousins are to blame for, because Kevin's parents and aunts and uncles all kiss up to their insincerity. They don't care if someone's apologies are fake, all except for Kevin's, because he's the "designated black sheep." Tony would see to it that Kevin NEVER suffers from such negligence and mistreatment from a dysfunctional family, he'd also bar their visitation rights for life. Kevin would've grown up in Tony Stark's Mansion (Marvel Cinematic Universe) which is in Malibu, California. Kate and Peter might be sent to jail for their negligence of Kevin, or Tony would pull a few strings with the family law court of Illinois, making them take Peter and Kate's parenting rights of Kevin away from Peter and Kate, and permanently barring all visiting and visitation rights due to their failed parenting via background checks based on their "incidents" two Christmases in a row along with the abusive mistreatment Kevin suffered from his siblings, cousins, and effing-ugly sausage-head of an uncle. Tony might take one look at Frank, and immediately dislikes him because he can see that Frank is nothing short of a scrooge who cares nothing about his family, but himself. Frank might also try to blackmail Tony into giving him $1 million dollars per year, but Tony doesn't fall for it, and puts a lifelong restraining order on the greedy cheapskate. And Kevin's siblings and cousins would all become wards of state in Illinois, probably under watchful eyes based on how they abused Kevin. Rob and Georgette would probably be notified via S.H.I.E.L.D. or another informative of Kevin being adopted by Tony Stark while living in France temporarily, along with Peter and Kate's parenting rights being taken away from them.

If Kevin ran away from home, then Peter and Kate would probably realize their mistakes. Only after Kevin might leave a letter for his family, spitting his venom at them for their unfair and unorthodox punishments of him and their neglect of his wellbeing when his siblings and cousins are the ones who deserve the most punishment from their parents. Buzz and Frank would be the only ones happy that Kevin's gone and they'd both be downright malicious to the point of hoping that Kevin would starve to death, by giving his parents a rude awakening. And maybe he might even tell his family via letter how much he hates them for their inattentiveness of him when he needed it the most because they carelessly left him suffer mistreatment from his siblings, cousins, and their asshole of an uncle, which he will never acknowledge again. Kevin would now hate Christmas, vowing to never celebrate it again, finally seeing they all have been times of suffering, with not an ounce of joy and love.

When you're the "designated black sheep" in a family who is a victim of severe mistreatment and your parents do nothing about it, Kevin would have every right to hate Christmas, because they've all been times of suffering from a very, very dysfunctional family who could care less about the wellbeing of one child. Even Kevin has a right to be angry about being neglected to the point where he disowns himself. I would say the WHOLE McCallister family (sans Kevin) are scrooges. Like perhaps, every year for Kevin's birthday, Buzz would ruin it and humiliate Kevin at all of his birthday parties, Buzz would spoil all of Kevin's wrapped presents and is never punished for it all the while Kevin is punished yet again for something he is NOT responsible for. So maybe the family law court of Illinois would step in, take away Peter and Kate's parenting rights of Kevin for their negligence and bar visitation rights for life (which makes Kate bawl and wail like a banshee of how much she has failed him), Kevin would be placed in a foster care system in Chicago cattering to neglected children, and maybe he'd be adopted by a childless couple who was on the same boat as Kevin was family-wise: a designated black sheep in a dysfunctional family and Kevin would feel a kindred spirit with his adopted parents.
Peter would feel broken on the inside and might let a few tears fall based on how he'd finally see how much he failed Kevin as a father. Peter might have to drag Kate out of the courtroom, office (s) and officers who are standing numbly while he's sobbing in despair over their (his and her) failed parenting. Kate would later go into a deep depression and turn to the bottle after losing Kevin forever with no intention of getting him back. Maybe Buzz would get the overdue punishment that he, Jeff, Megan, and Linnie so richly deserve. Kate would maliciously bitch-slap Buzz across the face, angrily ranting about how it's his fault Kevin is gone due to his cruelty and now how much Kevin hates them, but Buzz would retaliate by sucker-punching his mother in the face, calling her a "stupid effed-up cow," and spitting at her in the face. Peter would be furious and has had the last straw with his children's, nephew's, and niece's unforgivable mistreatment towards Kevin over the years. He'd punch "Uncle" Frank in the face and kicks him out of the house, viciously and angrily saying to never, ever come back because he is no longer welcome and no longer part of the family, and slamming the door in his face, ergo disowning him. Buzz is sent away for an indefinite amount of time to either reform or military school as punishment to "teach him a lesson he'll never forget," until he learns his lesson, which would leave Buzz kicking and screaming in anger and hatred, blaming all of his misfortune on Kevin. Jeff, Megan, and Linnie are all sent away to private boarding school(s) as punishment just the same. The boarding schools will be very strict and have zero-tolerance for familial antagonism, especially Buzz's. Leslie McCallister, Frank’s wife divorces him, having had the last straw with how he has abetted to all the unforgivable abuse and neglect Kevin suffered, gains custody of all their children, leaves neither a single dime nor penny to her ex-husband’s name, and she sends all of their children away to reform/private boarding/military school(s) as punishment as well.

If Kevin was a mutant, then Buzz and Frank might be the only ones who would be mutant haters. Buzz would be even more malicious to Kevin about him becoming a mutant and Frank would abbet Buzz in his cruelty since he's an asshole to everyone. Fuller might be sympathetic to his cousin for being a mutant, but Frank would viciously slap his youngest son across the face for treating a "freak" like an equal. And Buzz would say to Kevin's face with the whole family present that he is no longer a "little jerk," but a "freak who deserves to die." I don't know about Peter and Kate if they would defend Kevin for being a mutant, or if they would even support Buzz and they'd disown and kick Kevin out of the house for being a mutant. Kevin would also go to school at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters in North Salem, New York getting a first class education thanks to Professor Xavier. He'd also become more happier than he ever felt in Winnetka, feeling that he finally belongs at Xavier's, because nobody there hates him and is never maliciously called a "little jerk" by anybody. He would also stay at Xavier's every Christmas, too, not wanting to back to Illinois, because Buzz hates him for being a mutant along with "Uncle" Frank, and presumably his other siblings and cousins. And he'd only have contact with Fuller, because he and Leslie are mutant sympathizers. Buzz and Frank would hate Kevin so much more now, they'd probably join campaign groups of anti-mutant sentiments in Chicago (and wherever else in Ohio) along with supporting the Friends of Humanity and the Purifiers (aka Stryker Crusade) paramilitary terrorist groups. Peter and Kate would become very, VERY angry at Buzz for joining and supporting the anti-mutant sentiments because of Kevin being a mutant, they'd the last straw with him presumably by disowning him and sending him either to prison or a psychiatric hospital for life. Peter would angrily punch Frank in the face for him aiding and abetting Buzz for the unforgivable mistreatment Kevin suffered before he was discovered to be a mutant, even more so now because he's a mutant and supporting the anti-mutant campaigns, kicks him out of the house, viciously saying to never, ever come back because he is no longer welcome and no longer part of the family, and slamming the door in his face, ergo disowning him. Leslie would divorce Frank, finally having had the last straw with her husband's malice and abetting of Kevin's mistreatment, especially that he's now a mutant along with the support of anti-mutant campaigns, gains custody of all their children, barring visitation right of their children from him permanently, and leaves not a single dime or penny to his name. Frank would become so angry and he'd go insane to the point of actually joining either the Friends of Humanity or Purifiers and threatens his ex-wife that he'll kill her and Fuller for being "freak lovers."

That would've been interesting if Kevin was sibling-less in canon. I'd like to have seen that Kevin runs away from home, because he's finally fed up with all of the mistreatment from his siblings and cousins, and the unfair and unorthodox punishments his parents place on him via their negligence. He'd leave a letter for his family, spitting his venom at them, of how much he hates them all for their careless in attendance and abuse of him because he's been nothing but a "designated black sheep" to them and disowning himself, telling them to NEVER find him because he's no longer part of the family and wants nothing to do with them anymore.

Kevin's family are the REAL villains. They mistreat and neglect him without a care in the world. Kevin should've ran away from home and eventually be adopted by a married canon couple who's childless and they were both on the same boat as Kevin was in regards to their own families when they were growing up: they were "designated black sheeps" by their respective families who suffered mistreatment have been completely unpunished, which makes Kevin like his adopted parents very much, feeling a kindred spirit with them.

No wonder sibling-less (brother-less/sister-less) fits Kevin better.

An AU where Kevin's sibling-less/brother-less/sister-less.

Linnie is older than Megan, so she’s the oldest sister.

Kevin's older siblings are such brats, aren't they?

now that was some good poetry, well done.