This is wonderfully written-you get a great sense of John's just discharged tension, the warzone mindset he's still in. But (and I kinda hate to point it out, because this piece is so great) he wouldn't have powder burns on his hands. Gunpowder residue, maybe, but powder burns only happen in a bad misfire, which clearly didn't happen, since he successfully shot Hope. I've fired...well, a lot of guns and a lot of handguns, and never once gotten a powder burn.

[Even with all the lights out, the flat was never really dark.] - eeeeee I love this. Love love love. Opening line like a boss!

[Well, he'd shot a murderer. His name had been Jeff Hope, and he'd had no mercy on Sir Jeffrey Patterson, James Philimore, Beth Davenport or Jennifer Wilson. And he wouldn't have had any mercy on Sherlock Holmes either.] - omg. Amazing. This section is amazing.

[But I didn't know he had kids.] AND THIS.

[He sat down at the kitchen table and started scraping the knife over the black spots on his fingertips.] - This was a cool little ending, and an extra detail I'd never thought about before!

Very little in the way of critique for this one. I think it's a solid little piece that does exactly what you intended it to do, plus a little more!

It's unfortunate that the comment about 'IEDs' isn't quite true any more - and I have to mention that a good three decades ago I was sleepwalking and talking, telling my husband who was awake - 'that I wanted to know who was responsible' - as I was convinced that someone had to held accountable for something . . . never have been able to 'lighten up'.

Now that was spot on. Well done.

Beautiful imagery, I really like this. It really captures the sense of John easing into being comfortable with his new flat and flatmate. It feels a bit alien, but also a bit like home.

Very well described. My husband is a police officer, and so often prowls about the house, "just checking". You did a great of portraying a man being so very aware of the reality of the dangers of this world, and the realities of the consequences of that danger. Well done.

Great hook. I felt that I was instantly in their flat; the scene was set up so beautifully. I actually wanted to be there.
I think that overall, this chapter gives off a really great aura of John not really being very familiar with Sherlock yet. His musings on the light switch, and connecting it to Sherlock's deductive reasoning added to this.
I would caution that it's hard to smoothly read over John's observation of Sherlock dreaming. I had to read it two or three times before I grasped what you were saying...maybe I'm just a bit thick, but there it is.
I love the imagery of Sherlock looking boyish as he sleeps. However, I think it would be even more effective if you removed the word boyish all together...let the power of the word painting speak for itself?
Lovely chapter...I'm excited to keep reading.

Wished there was more! ! Loved it! !

There are too many great little moments in this to mention them all. John's musings are hysterical - the toilet cistern is classically mad but understandable. That he talks to himself later at night is a given. That Sherlock talks about purple jaguars is now part of my headcanon!

I liked this a lot. I like your style of writing, and I like the little explorations of scenes between scenes. I've often wondered what happened that first night after they came back from the Chinese resturant. Well, now I know...

I love how the darkness of the flat echos John's emotions. Don't know if that was intentional, but that's what I got out of it. The part where John is trying to cover Sherlock up is really nice. Kind of shows that John 'gets' Sherlock even though they haven't been flatmates for very long. Nicely done. :)

Lol, what a strange dream Sherlock is having. Sweet that his sleepy brains automatically interprets the blanket being giving back to him as being Mycroft's work. John checking the flat was funny to. Of course it would take him a little time to adjust. His guilt was very in character, and his reasoning on it.
Hmm, you would have thought Sherlock would have antiseptic, althoguh you're right, it's probably just stored somewhere unusual. It's illogical to most people, but i'm sure he has his own logic to the disorganised flat.

"Sherlock looked pitifully boyish for a moment. Cherubic curls all over the place. He'd been wearing his coat for most of the night and, for the first time, John was really struck by how unnaturally, almost painfully thin he was- the physique of a starved whippet".

Perfect description of Sherlock. But poor John. A very thought provoking and vivid portrayal of the effects of war...

Beautifully written and explores John's psychology so well, from the methodical way he checks the flat for hidden dangers to the lingering guilt that he's killed a man with children. Fabulous details, like the strange noises that keep you awake in a new flat. Sherlock lecturing himself in his sleep was adorable! You're a superb writer who really knows how to inhabit a character.

Your description of Sherlock sleeping was absolutely precious. Loved it!

all the best