Please come back to this! I'm really interested to see where this goes.

I will be continuing this story- if you see this. I've just been... TRYING to plan out the entire thing. I've not had inspiration for any stories in a long time. :\

Name: Angelica Patria - Prefers to be called Ann.

Gender: Female.

Age: 26.

Hair: Black. Long. Straight.

Eyes: Very bright blue.

Cloths: White tank top. Black track pants.

Origin: Grew up in France and moved Steelport.

Language: English. Can also speak French.

Fighting: Take-Wan-Do and Karate.

Parents: Her Mum is a raging alcoholic who lives in Stilwater. Her Dad is addicted to Cocaine and beat her when she was younger which caused her to run away to Steelport.

Friends: Kiki DeWynter.

Job: Works at Planet Saints.

Siblings: Isabella.

Hobbies: Training. Illegal street racing. Mountain climbing.

Home: France. Moved to Stilwater. Now Down town Steelport.

Likes: Getting into fights. Travelling.

Dislikes: Anyone who talks shit to her. People who disagree with her.

Weaknesses: Her punches.

Strengths: Her kicks.

Habits: Losing her temper easily. Chewing her gums.

History: Angelica was born in Paris in France. Ever since she was five, her uncle used to teach her Karate. Angelica was a quick learner and mastered most of her skills by the age of Twelve. Angelica usually was involved in school fights causing her to have no friends. When Angelica moved to Stillwater things had gotten worse for her. Her Father used to beat her and her mother. Her mother turned to drink and soon became a raging alcoholic and her Father soon turned to Drugs. Angelica was expelled from school for getting into more fights. Angelica was Sixteen when she decided to try out the new Gym in Stilwater. The streets were a dangerous place with the gang violence between the Ronin and Saints, so Angelica turned to Take-Won-Do, as her Karate skills were not enough to defend herself. After her father becoming more abusive Angelica ran away to Steelport. After starting a fresh new life things seemed fine, until more gangs came to the city. Angelica was almost killed by a rival gang but Morningstar member, Kiki DeWynter saved her life. Kiki helped Angelica get back on her feet and gave her a place to stay, and in return Angelica helped Kiki destroy the other gangs bit by bit. Soon Kiki and her had a major fallout over who Philip would chose to be lieutenant for the Morningstar. When Kiki was picked Angelica locked herslef away and went to live in an old hangar by the airport, where she trained and trained, trying to get strong enough for the next Murder brawl competition.

Hint, pick me! :D

*straps on her Supergirl cape* Okay, lemme see what I can do for you:

Character Name: Angelica

Full Name: Angelica Patria

Nick Names: Angie

Gender: Female

Age: 25

Birthday/year: April 27

Marital Status: Single

Hair: Charcoal, shoulder length with cut bangs above the eyes, thin like sewing thread

Eyes: coffee brown

Origin: Born and raised in Steelport

Language: English

Blood Type: AB positive

Height: 5'7"

Weight/Body Structure/Physical Faults: 135 lbs., model thin and A-cup boobs,

Race/Species: Human, Italian

Parents/Elders/Guardians: Mother works in a nursing home, Father lives on the west coast somewhere as a successful real estate agent with his new wife and newborn daughter.

Siblings: She's an only child, as far as she's concerned.

Friends/Allies: None

Enemies: The Luchadores, as she learned that with a steel bat and a gun, she could run into the casinos in New Baranac, smash up the machines, take the money, and run. Better than a nine to five any day.

Beliefs/Religion: She believes in God, just doesn't trust him enough to pray for anything.

Career/Past Careers: Worked as a receptionist in a law firm until she was laid off due to budget cuts. Unable to find work quickly enough, she resorted to stealing and vandalism.

Dreams/Life Goals: She dreams of owning her own business making enough money to pay off her mother's debts and have enough for the two of them to comfortably live off of. Her life goal is to major in business in college and get a degree.

Hobbies: In her spare time, Angie likes to draw and paint. She has a collection of drawings and paintings that she's kept since middle school. Occasionally, she likes to read romance novels.

Likes:

Loves:

Dislikes:

Loathes: her father for abandoning her mother and forcing her to work so hard, anyone who'd disrespect her mother, and perverted men

Fears: dark tight spaces, being raped (from walking home alone at night by herself), never falling in love/falling in love and being rejected by that person

Strengths: Courage - Emotional strengths that involve the exercise of will to accomplish goals in the face of opposition, external or internal. Bravery [valor]: Not shrinking from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain; speaking up for what is right even if there is opposition; acting on convictions even if unpopular; includes physical bravery but is not limited to it. Perseverance [persistence, industriousness]: Finishing what one starts; persisting in a course of action in spite of obstacles; “getting it out the door”; taking pleasure in completing tasks. Honesty [authenticity, integrity]: Speaking the truth but more broadly presenting oneself in a genuine way and acting in a sincere way; being without pretense; taking responsibility for one's feelings and actions. Zest [vitality, enthusiasm, vigor, energy]: Approaching life with excitement and energy; not doing things halfway or halfheartedly; living life as an adventure; feeling alive and activated. Dependable, persistant, loyal, generous, patient.

Weakness: Greed - Because her father wasn't around to help her mother out with their bills, Angie didn't get the affection and attention she needed growing up. She grew up believing that if she had enough money, then her mother wouldn't have to work as much and would be able to spend more time with her. As a teen, she was focused on getting and hoarding money. ; Stubbornness - Due to the constant changes and unpredictability of her childhood, Angie dislikes change as a teenager. The stressful instability due to her mother having to constantly change jobs and move from home to home when she couldn't afford their current one. The core experience is the shock of the new. Just when she thought she knew where she was, living safely at home with her best friends and her favorite toys, without any warning she was whisked off to start afresh in a new, unfamiliar place. Change has been imposed against her will, and it has caused unbearable stress. The cumulative effect is a desparate desire for stability and familiarity, to stay put and have everything nailed into place, and to fend off anything new or unfamiliar.

Good Qualities: Great listener, understanding

Bad Habits: Gets angry quickly, clinging on to the events of her past, smoking, and biting her nails

Turn Ons: A fit body cut with abs, nice hair cut, a little stubble, and a sensual voice

Turn Offs: sweaty, overweight, more feminine than her

Normal Talents: Fast reader and learner, mathematician.

Temperament: Angie is deeply sensitive, the slightest comment or negative remark will be taken personally and she can easily get offended or hurt. Her stubborn streak is due to her upbringing as she endured so much change as a child that, now that she's able to help her mother out and provide some stability of her own, she doesn't want to change anymore. She can be very stubborn when someone gives her orders or wants her to do something she does not want to do.

Background: [ This has the largest writing section available because this is where you are going to explain your character's life story up to the point where she is first mentioned in the story (though some writers still continue the background throughout the character's appearance in the said tales). This is where you can have as much fun as you would like with your character, but again KEEP IT REALISTIC! Explain most of his/her life if it is required for the story. ]

Hope this helps you out, I intentionally left some parts blank so that you can spend some time with Angie and see what she tells you herself. PM me with any questions, okay?

She Should Be a Stubborn Personlike Angel Is and Short tempered

Reviewing my own work. Huh.
Anyway, just leaving a comment here for those who are waiting for a next chapter.
I will get to work on it as soon as I get it all figured out, and have the time to write a chapter.
See you then!

Keep Going

This was a good one-shot. Although I thought Angel would actually make an appearance, as the summary alluded, it was still a nice read. I agree with HeartWritingM as well, you should be more descriptive. In every scene that you write, imagine yourself there among your characters and describe what your senses experience. If he loved his car so much, he should spend a few moments admiring it, allowing you to give us details about this magnificent beauty. This helps your readers become more immersed in your story. Another suggestion would be to space between your paragraphs and dialogue so it has a better look.

Not bad for the first chapter, and I look forward to more. Keep it up!

Are you sure this is your first FanFic? Because you seem like a Pro! :) I love your writing style and this was a FanFic I easily got into.

I see big things ahead for this FanFic. So far I'm really enjoying it! I think it would help if you made the chapter a tiny bit longer,just to satisfy the reader and make them want more. Sometimes it's good to end a chapter in a cliffhanger, so the reader wants more.

Keep it action packed so the reader won't get bored. So far you're doing brilliant, so keep it up! :)

First, the good. While I generally hated him in the game due to Hulk Hogan's terrible voice acting, I enjoy reading Angel in fics so I hope you do well ;) Thankfully, you write legibly and coherently (for the most part, there are some grammar issues here and there) so that's a huge plus.

Now, the bad. I feel there's a lot of 'tell' going on here and not a whole lot of 'show' but it could just be the nature of this little blurb about where things stand right now, and that's ok. It was the most jarring when Shaundi called, and then it was explained in narration why she was calling, due to some event previous. It was just... off.

All the same, don't let this dissuade you :) definitely keep going.