Wow. I mean . . . wow. My sympathies, that is a rough time.

Sweet! And, Ron and Munchlax totally fit together. They'll be stealing each other's food in no time, I'm sure. Very cool story. And I don't think you should burn in hell. ;)

Hi there,

usually I don't review fan-fictions on this site since I'm too damn lazy, but your story shows promise and since you've had so few reviews so far I thought I would give you my opinion. Please excuse my bad language btw, I'm German and don't get to write in English often.

Your story has an intriguing beginning so far, even though it initially appears to begin like any other Harry Potter/Pokémon Crossover on this site. (Champion getting into Hogwarts to teach about Pokémon, Harry and friends getting their owns etc.)

I like how you attempt to merge it with earth's history (or better said: with the Harry Potter universe). However, exactly that will lead to my main criticism in this review. I want to make clear beforehand that I like this story so far, but there are some logical fallacies in regard to our history and the Harry Potter story that you either have to correct or to explain it in later chapters.

First let me start with the errors in regard to our history: the first Pokémon games were published in Japan 1996, and in America even in 1998. Harry Potter went to Hogwarts in 1991, so if he is about to get into his third year in your story, it's 1993, way off even for the start of the Pokémon franchise. At first I assumed that you simply moved the time line in the Harry Potter universe up to 10 years, so that it is 2003, but even then there's the problem that the fourth generation with Arceus, Lucario and all Sinnoh Pokémon came out in the US 2007. In 2003 the third generation was just published, so Tracey Davis couldn't have known about Arceus. And even if, Harry admitted to her that he only knew Pokémon up to the third generation, how did he recognize Riolu later on in the chapter?

That's the first glaring contradiction that I found, but unfortunately there is another:
Loomis Thatcher went to the original world because Atlantis was attacked by Death Eaters, you named Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange. Based on the first chapter I assumed the story would play around fall 1995, because Voldemort just came back then and broke Bellatrix out of Azkaban somewhere in Harry's fifth year. However, this plays before Harry's third year, Voldemort is still possessing animals in Albania, Bellatrix is still rotting in Azkaban and Lucius Malfoy still acts like the upstanding citizen he certainly isn't. So yeah, how do you intend to explain that?

Unlike some others who might be, I'm not offended with ow powerful Loomis is in this story, because I like reading about such characters. However, what does annoy me a little, is the fact that he instantly explains stuff. Like in the first chapter: “"Well, no freakin' duh, lady," Loomis replied. "We derive our magic from one of the strongest ley lines in the entire planet. Naturally, our magic will be more powerful than yours." “. Also, he IS rather cocky, somewhere in the beginning you said “he doesn't flaunt his talents”, but later he does exactly that. Please try to make his personality a little more fleshed out.

Oh, and when Harry insulted Tracey, why did he say: “I could be asking you the same question, Davis. I thought Slytherins spent their summers slinking around the countryside on their bellies looking for rats to eat.”? When I think of Slytherin, I think of sneering rich snobs who spent their days trying to look superior to common people, certainly not of such a poor bastard. It's just a sentence, but I dunno, it just seems weird to me.

Okay, so after all that negative stuff, let me comment on what you did well. I didn't notice any glaring grammar or spelling errors, then again, English isn't my native language so it is likely that I missed something in that department. Still, it doesn't seem like it.
Your premise is rather interesting, even though it has been done before. Your story is the first I read where mages learn Pokémon moves. Also, I'm interested to see how Harry is losing his prejudice toward Slytherins.
All in all it's a nice start to a hopefully epic story, please continue writing it and don't take my criticism too hard, okay? No hard feelings? ”

Looking forward to reading another chapter,
Ryol

Go to hell and burn there while real authors write actual stories

So, when are we going to learn about Sirius, and does he get a pokemon too?

Continue this please!