It's very mean to post a mystery and not complete it.

That was differant. Intriguing and kinda moving too.

I’m really intrigued and slightly confused, but really do want to know what’s going to happen next. Clearly, both Sluggy and Snape are totally out of the action, on their way to Gringotts to talk to the nice goblins and take a look at the Device. The Evil Swan-Like Ladies (veela in full battle-cry, perhaps? ‘terrible things would happen if they stopped dancing’). And which Gryffindors in particular are they looking for, and which one did they snatch?

Although I am not entirely certain what Snape is supposed to do about the Marauders all by himself, except perhaps leave Hogwarts…what precisely is Slughorn counseling? Complete surrender to them would only mean complete loss of status in Slytherin for Snape, and the Marauders won’t take anything else—plus, one suspects they’d take surrender as permission to feed him to Remus, this time successfully.

Mmm...blood and death magic steampunk. Love it. :)

Oh, my-a Difference Engine with bells on; a giant one, of which the toys in Dumbledore's office are only a tiny shadow.

Very good start!

Interesting. So either Lily or a Marauder was taken. If the birds are swans, it was probably Lily, so she can be Natalya's avatar, perhaps?
I will keep checking back for updates, as you have me intrigued.

Wow, what a chapter, i really can't wait for new one ;-)

Wow! You've introduced several question-forming acts in this new chapter! I'm going to assume the swans were looking for the Marauders, but didn't find them. Presumably they're off roaming outside the castle. I doubt they're actually with Remus on a full-moon night, since Sev is in detention for SWM - and doesn't THAT just figure! I suppose they might have actually been in detention themselves, but I would want to bet on it!

So, von Rothbert's swan-ladies have apparently nabbed Lily and burned the library of Hogwarts, as well as the Vatican archives. I'm going to guess that he hopes to squelch all info about his attempts at take-over back in Salazar's time. After all, that was apparently exactly what Salazar & the Tsar feared - that all info on what happened (and how to defeat it if it rose again) would be lost. Hence the need for Natalya's sacrifice. It will be interesting to see if the machine in Vault 21c was a true tomb or more of a cryochamber that has kept Natalya alive, but in deep sleep. After all, she DID freeze!

Will also be interesting to see what Salazar expected the Head of Slytherin to be capable of doing for heading off a new wave of darkness. I wonder if Salazar assumes Slytherin's Head would automatically be the potions instructor? Unfortunately, I expect the next chapter will not be coming soon.

Fascinating, why are they after the marauders? I can understand Slughorn as it appears Slytherin devised the alarm system, and there is probably some sort of weapon against them that can be devised from the plants, but the Marauders? I am assuming it is the Marauders they want based on the comment of a handful of Griffindors and those are the ones most likely to be out of the castle somewhere in the forest.

I'm pretty sure that the title Tsar wasn't used until the 16th Century.

I read this chapter the day it went up, but wanted to think on it a bit. And it's fine that you didn't respond by private message - I knew you couldn't. I suppose I shall break down and sign up, so I can respond better to your stories, but it will need to wait a week or so - I want to get a new email acct for it. I'd never notice it if you PM'd me at my current email - much too many in it.

I really am beginning to like the feel of this. I decided to read it as if it wasn't related to HP at all, as if it were a brand new original story. In doing so, I found I spent less time trying to figure out how you were deviating from canon (always interesting to do with your stories otherwise) and stopped trying to see how HP characters fit into this fic. It was keeping me from enjoying the story as it went along.

How awful of a decision for your Natalya to be asked to make. And yet she volunteers, even knowing the sacrifice might never have needed to be made. How awful that her sacrifice has been forgotten. Most probably however, how lucky for the world that she made it and this machine is apparently powered by that sacrifice if it is to be the salvation from this Von Rothbert.

It shall be interesting to see if these Swans have similarities with your Swans from your fic 'Hunting Swans' or if they are entirely different. I'm also liking the Lake connections. From this Lake of the Tsar to the Lake at Hogwarts to (possibly - if it isn't the same one as the Tsar's) the one in Swan Lake.

Don't know if you might want to work any of this in, or even if it might be useful - but Llyr's children (in the Welsh Mabinogan but also in Irish Myths - in which case it is Lir's Children) were changed into Swans. No idea whether there is a common earlier myth that might link up with the russian.

I do like that Natalya was also a redhead. But thanks for telling us that it was Slytherin in the Red & Gold - I was wondering what Godric was doing in Russia.

'Poetic' is one description, but 'Epic' might be even more apt in this case...

"A young woman scorned a Slytherin, telling him that he had chosen his path when in fact it was she who had conclusively chosen hers." Well-put. It's not clear how that led to this, however. How did her choice of path "call the darkness down"?

After my last review on this story I wanted to add something that I think could be of interest to this story if it ever becomes 'more'. IF I understand things, you have Lily's refusal to accept Sev's apology as some sort of starting point for the machine to 'act' - releasing the birds.

I really like the imagery that could come from the juxtaposition of her red hair and the possible title 'Firebird'. As I said in the last review, it may just be that this bit of story needs more chapters. As a stand-alone it just isn't 'enough'. I'm going to suggest that you might want to let this percolate a bit more. I can actually now see this growing into an original piece (not fanfic) with a redhaired female main character - possibly heroine(?) who sets the machine in motion by accident and then must fix things.

As I said before the 'words' here can be quite beautiful. I think my main problem with it is that it just isn't 'enough' yet.

While I greatly admired the way you wrote the words in this piece - parts of it are practically poetic - I am left feeling a bit confused. In several of your other stories things are left open-ended, but with enough things to link ideas upon that one can figure out what is mostly possible.

In this one, not so much. I get the gist that it was Lily's refusal to accept Sev's apology that sets the birds in motion, but I cannot see how that would be an important starting point for something planned so long ago. Yes, it matters greatly to Severus Snape's life and so becomes important in regards to the prophecy and to Harry's protection by Lily's 'sacrifice'. But I cannot see it as something 'unique' among the centuries.

Sorry, I know you have said that you prefer reviews that you can PM people in regards to their questions. I do not however wish to have yet another account somewhere (in this case Fanfiction), especially since I only read and don't write myself. However, I am not asking for an explanation. I am merely letting you know that in THIS particular fic, I find the 'reason' the device activated to either be too simplistic and yet unbelievable OR that the 'reason' is not clear enough and I have misconstrued it.

The wording and imagery are otherwise quite nice. I just feel the underlying structure is not strong. But then, not every story can be as great as every other. It is entirely possible (based on the way you build your longer fics with just a few hints of how the world is different as you go along) that this would also be quite wonderful and probably 'sturdier' than it seems in a multi-chapter story. But as a one-shot, not so much so.

I am also left wondering whether this might also seem weaker to me because it is so focused on a bit of machinery. Part of what I so like about your stories has been the way you 'flesh out the cardboard' characters. So, it might also be that without witnessing actual emotions, the fic feels 'empty'? Yes we see a glimpse of Pernelle crying over Nicholas - but we are distanced from it. Altho' I must say the way you wrote that small bit, the distancing feels almost as if we are 'flying over' them. Gives us a feeling of being part of the swans.