Hey, I have a question: Does this story take place during the American Civil War? Is so, couldn't u just label this story as an AU?

Also, I also tend 2 write Bakugan stories with historical facts in it (read "Shun and Japan" and Heroes of the Star and the Maple Leaf", if u like Bakugan AND Hetalia; these will have facts about the bakugan, brawlers, and some info about certain things from different countries). In the story's case, however, why r u using America as the setting,...?

Hahaha... Finally finished reading!

I took back what I said it being not intense enough.
in some part, it is intense... especially the part when Lee and Grant were having battle-strategy war...
I didn't even stop reading that part since I was really curious on how it was going to turn out. I even almost forgot that it was Alice and Shun's story and not Grant & Lee's story (no, I'm not thinking about 'that').

Oh, well, Shun and Alice's part kind of giving me some refreshment after the intense tactical battle.
Overall, it was thrilling! (I notice that most of the intense part are the part that you did after you finished the zombie-sequel fanfic. You must've done your homework really well!)

Well, that's all I wanted to say. The ending was good (duh, I've read it even before finishing it), the battle was intense, and you did a good job making an elaborate historical fanfic without missing a beat with the original timeline. Must be a hard work there...

anyway... keep writing and cheers!

Marume Chiisa

Wuah! Finally got halfway through! (according to my phone)

I must say that the story is developing greatly! Everyone who had lost their will to read, would definitely read again around these chapters!

I guess not much complain around these chapters as I saw things were going on just great. (except for occasional typo, no big deal)

Well, I still couldn't get used to the skipping time-frame though. And around Vicksburg and Gettysburg arc, the story is kind of... um... disconnected?

Well, both Alice's and Shun's part got their own excitement, but they seemed to get the story of their own. Even though both of them constantly thinking about each other, it seemed like they're from completely different stories. Well, no big deal, though.

I was kinda wondering, why was the story titled 'Southern Hymn', while according to the story (so far), the South seemed to have a lot more skeletons in their closets than the North. I guess I'll find out soon enough. 19 chapters to go, it's about 40 percent left.

Cheers and regards,

Marume Chiisa

Hey! Finally able to read the story! (Since I don’t online much, I’ve copied the story to word, so that I can read it with my phone anytime I want. Usually before sleep, or in the middle of the class). Oh, anyway, I must say it was really interesting. I didn’t know about the real history itself (since I’m not American), but this story makes me want to study about history in detail.

Okay, now for the critics. I won’t say anything about grammar since it’s not my mother language, I have nothing to say. There’re things that bothered me about this though, but it probably caused of my inexperience. Just leave it at that.

Well, few things that bothered me is; the first few chapters, you wrote ‘servent’ instead of ‘servant’ (it was fixed in later chapters, though), and I couldn’t help but thinking about ‘serpent’. I frowned every time I read that word even though I knew the real meaning, I just can’t help myself. (Ignore this one, just a slight disturbance)

And then, there was this multiple use of ‘antebellum house’. I’ve done my homework, and I think it’s kind of annoying... ugh... I don’t know how to say it. Maybe like this, I feel more comfortable to read ‘Tudor-styled house’ rather than ‘Tudor house’. For the first time, it was ok, but after that, I kind of get annoyed with that phrase. Hell, I don’t even know how to explain it... it’s just... argh! I don’t know! You did say (in the story) that it was common for that kind of house around that place and time, so I think there’s no need to use another ‘antebellum’ to explain the same word (house) again. It’s just... well... I’m not sure... annoying? (oh, there’s that word again) (just tell me if I’m wrong, or maybe there’re things I don’t know about this).

And then regarding the plot. I was actually kind of confused of the first few chapters (before Shun and Alice met). It was kind of... um... jumping too fast? (I don’t know how to describe it). Well, it’s like this; the first chapter, we know that Alice accepted Klaus’ proposal, and then the next chapter said that it was already 1 month passed since that engagement? What...? And then there were Shun who was visiting his grandpa for Christmas, and the next chapter he was at the post office, and if I didn’t wrong, Alice’s part mention that it was 3 months or so had passed. What...? Eh?

I even re-read the few pages before to make sure that I didn’t miss anything. And I didn’t. It’s the plot that jumped too fast, and... I’m sorry to say it, but those parts are rather unnecessary. Majority of people can stop reading because of that. It was... um... kind of tiring, especially the fact that nothing major happened in those chapters. (oh… well, the first few chapters did give me some overview of that time’s condition; the conflict between north and south, how people in each part react, the election, and stuffs. But I think it can be more summarized. It didn’t have to be that long, and I know you can make it a lot more interesting).

My suggestion is that you’ve got to fast forward the ‘fateful-encounter’. It’s not necessarily that they (Alice and Shun) ran into each other face-to-face. They can just bump into each other without noticing their appearance detail. Anything that makes people excited about the story. (Well, actually, when I read that Shun was going to visit his grandpa, I thought that he was going to bump into Alice or something like that. I was kinda disappointed when I found out that nothing happened, yet again)
And then, go with the war thingy. Instead of intense, I felt a little bit melancholic when I read the training part, and even the war itself. It lacks… um… aggression? Or something like that, I’m not sure. I don’t know if I watch too much movie, or read too much news on the morning papers (about military issues of course), but I found that the one in your story is kind of… um… laid-back? It was just like… they were forcefully recruited into the army, told to hold a gun, shooting practice, and all that. And then the next thing I knew, they were already at war? Eeeh? (I knew that you did mention the camp lasted for like weeks, but again, the plot jumped too fast, and again again… nothing important happened).

If you have watched “Starship Troopers” (or maybe “Inglorious Bastards”, “X-Men: First Class”, and some other similar movies), maybe you’ll understand what I meant. I don’t know about that time, but all I know that military these days are a lot more lenient than decades ago. I didn’t say that yours was unrealistic, because maybe you just wanted to tone it down, but the excitement was also get toned down by doing that. I think you should give more description about the training, it’d be interesting. It’d also give more aspect to the story, and surely it’d be a lot more interesting.

Okay… I just got to the part where Alice and friends bumped into Shun and friends, and it was only like 15 percent of the whole story, and I’ve said this much? Oh… don’t worry. It’s not your fault, I gave these critics in someone-who-knows-nothing point of view. Maybe for someone-knows-some-things-about-it will have a whole different opinion. Just keep writing, you’ll get better before you even realize it (I’m also trying to get better myself).

It’ll be a long time before I can finish reading this story, but don’t worry! I’ll keep reading! Oh… well… actually, I got the excitement to keep reading after I read the last few pages (some facts made me thrilled). I have tendency of doing that because I have to find my reason to keep reading. Not finishing reading a story is a severe sin for me, so I am willing to spoil the excitement just for a reason. I got bored after a few pages just because I didn’t find what I like, but that’s because of my preference, don’t worry. I’ve found my reason to keep reading this story and that’s all I need.

You can just keep moving forward! Cheers!

P.S. I may give some more critics and suggestions right after I continue reading, so I hope you don’t get offended. Just forgive me if I said something harsh or uncalled for. And I would love to hear if you know things that I don’t. I love learning new things, it gives me reference for my own writings.

Regards,

Marume Chiisa

the wedding! YAY!

I like your fic, it is an amazing story, I love Shun and Alice and they awesome bye bye.

Ehm..by Ŧнє way.. How about Marucho? "

I'm so excited for the next and last chapter! I love this story oh so much! Wonderful job with the ending of this one and all of the others chapters! They're all so god! Pooch

I am wondering what kind of events will happen in the last chapter! Update Soon!

The Reunion! Shun and Alice are so cute! I'm sooooo lookinmg forward to the next chapter! Update Soon!

Yes! They were reunited at last! I'm so happy! Klaus did do the right thing in the end! But I'm still happy that Alice and Shun were together! Wonderful job! LOVED IT! XD

Alice and Shun finally met eachother after a long time!

Awwww love the ending of the chapter so cute! :3 Please update soon and thanks for updating this chapter

Thanks for taking my advice, and by the way, I love your stories.

Sad ending! But yea! Shun and Alice will find each other for sure! Happy endings for all, except Lincoln sadly... Awesome chapter!