Very detailed, loved it & keep it up!

Swear I thought I reviewed this. Well, I think I'm losing my touch since when I read it I didn't see the ending. Well I knew ash was going to be her wish but not like that and picking ash was the right path for her. Damn I dunno. Well I think I reviewed this in the advancers page so yeah I don't know what else to say.

This was... woah. I absolutely loved this. The descriptions were perfect. Absolutely perfect. Beautiful. Seriously, I don't know what else to say, I'm speechless! Tell me if you win! It's awesome!

But yeah, very awesome!

When I first read, it confused me a bit but then I realize how touching it was...

Yeah.. I would wish like that too if I'm lose, nowhere else to go.

Nicely done! Even though it short! But it's great! ADVANCESHIPPING 4 EVER!

This oneshot COMPLETELY took my breath away.

I don't even know where to begin with this review. I loved everything about this story - the way you interpreted the theme of the contest, the description, May's characterization, your word choice, the details...you are such an amazing writer! I could go on and on. I REALLY loved this.

What's funny to me is that you said this story wasn't as detailed as you wanted it to be, but to me I think it has exactly the right amount of detail! Probably one of the most powerful lines, in my opinion, was this one: "Ash became her Northern Star, guiding her along, protecting her through the heart of darkness, through her time in such an omnipotent haze."

You captured so much in just one simple sentence, and that just shows how talented you are as a writer. Less sometimes really is more, and this sentence proves it. You don't always need long, overly descriptive sentences where they aren't necessary. You don't always need thousands upon thousands of words, pages upon pages in a word processor, and so on. You just need to be able to convey the message effectively, and you did exactly that in such a beautifully simple way.

I really loved this section, too: "There were three times she was truly lost on her way to go.

As May made her way across the trail to Pallet town, she wasn't lost.

May knew exactly where she was going, and her heart thudded at the silhouette from a distance."

Again, in just one little section of this oneshot, you were able to convey so much feeling and intent.

OH AND THIS PART, TOO, GAHH!: "She wasn't sure what came over her, but she raced towards him, euphoria rushing, pumping through her heart and escaping to every part of her body – from the butterflies in her tummy, to the minute tingling in the tips of her fingers. May jolted, rushing towards him, her tremulous arms extending to envelope him in an embrace."

Practically flawless description, if you ask me. (I don't want to be a nitpicker, because this isn't anything that really glared at me while reading this part, but there was just a tiny little typo. "Envelope" should be "envelop" without the e at the end.)

Okay, I'll stop now before I just end up copying and pasting the entire thing. Are you trying to kill me? Like, really? I might die from the sheer awesomeness of this oneshot.

The way you ended this story was fantastic as well. It was such a sweet and endearing and perfect ending. May's heart wasn't the only one that was fluttering, that's for sure! With just three simple words, you once again were able to say so much more. It also feels like the last sentence really tied into the whole concept of Ash acting as May's North Star, helping her find her way back home to him. Also, the way you compared May coming back to Ash to the way May would find her way home to the gym was also a wonderful to bring this oneshot back full circle.

If I had to describe the overall feeling of this story in just one word, I think I'd go with gentle. This story radiates warmth, softness, and good tingly vibes with each and every word. Yet at the same time it was just so powerful. Like I said, I'm breathless. The Advanceshipping community needs more work just like this!

I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm rambling and repeating myself. This is truly just a brilliant story, and you're a great writer, and my review is really only scratching the surface of what I liked about this story. I'm definitely rooting for you in the contest!

As far as feedback goes, just keep doing what you're doing. I didn't see any overt errors or anything that really detracted from the quality of this story.

Wishing you lots of luck, and I hope you continue to write more awesome stories in the future!

- S. Muffin

PS - I saw your post on your profile, too. I hope you feel better soon! Being sick sucks :(