I'm not sure if you're still writing this fic, but I have enjoyed it nonetheless. The only possible issue is that both Ephidel and Lasentis are sort of unlikable, as well as Morcere. Their redeeming traits are that they get screen time and are all very skilled in magic. Other than that they've been either manipulating, moody, etc. Granted once Ephidel and Lasentis work out their differences things may not be so bad but Ephidel is, in essence, a sociopath. He CAN feel but he can just as easily lock those feelings away and cares nothing for the lives of others.

Cool, but, hard to deal with as a main protagonist.

Yet somehow none of that has taken away from the story. You handled it all well and, if possible, I'd love to see more in the future.

Hiho! It appears that I'm on a roll :)

I'm very happy to finally at last be outside of Morcere's sterile abode... the change in scenery has done much in terms of increasing my interest in the story line. I think also the facts that Lacentis and Ephidel are being more civil to each other, and that we more readily see the latter's weakness helps a lot. Also the fact that he is starting to show more emotion is also softening my opinion of him. I know that he is a morph, but if he is too much like a doll I don't know if I could have stomached his narrative much further.

One thing I'm a little bewildered by is Ephidel's ability to access very frantic situations, and how it contributes to my feelings towards said situation as the reader. I think I noticed this in a previous chapter when he noted that instead of being seconds from death, he was a few more minutes from it (if I recall correctly.) Being told that made me feel like the situation wasn't as grave as just a "few minutes from death," but rather, it made me feel distant.

In this chapter also, as he's fleeing the fire dragons, he assesses his 'lost' situation in a rather matter-of-fact manner. I suppose it might be, again, attributed to his status as a morph, but it just seems a tad absurd that he can be thinking these things out so rationally when the situation is so desperate. I recall also that you mentioned previously his ability to think through things very quickly, so it might just be his mental capacity is exceptional... I just find it a little awkward because I sense that the situation is extreme, but at the same time I don't feel that it is because Ephidel is too level-headed about it. So while I am relieved towards the end when Ephidel acknowledges his fear of death, I'm a little unsatisfied because I'm told that he fears death, rather than shown it's full extent.

And of course, once again, the reason for all of this, and I tire of saying it, may be due to his inhumanity. But in the game, I definitely feel that he was panicking, terrified even, when Nergal abandoned him at the gate. I personally believe it's canon to think he definitely does feel extreme fear and has the emotions to back them up. So I think in writing, it's important to make the reader observe these things rather than make him accept them. Exceptional writing will force the reader to observe what you, as the writer, want him to observe without outright telling him what he should be observing.

Sorry, that criticism was lengthy because I was trying to clarify my point, not to indicate my level of disapproval, hahaha I felt like it was hard to explain myself fully... but anyways.

I was very much intrigued by Anna's appearance. And although I'm unfamiliar with the FE games outside of the Elibe and Magvel world (with small, disinterested familiarity with Tellius) I think the references to the other games are pretty neat. I confess I have no love for the Inheritance Cycle (to put it lightly), but I actually do appreciate the notes you make at the end of the chapters. I find all the influences and the level of thought you put into everything very admirable. Especially as the plot is unfolding much more now, there is a viable conflict and the characters are starting to unravel their facades, my anticipation and expectation for this story has most definitely increased due to this chapter. Looking forward to reading more!

I'm back! I don't have much to say, but I thought a few thoughts might be at least interesting to you.

The additional history you provide for the Scouring is interesting, especially since I more readily assumed that morphs were of Nergal's invention, not quite perfected until the time of FE7. I've always been very interested in the Scouring myself... long ago I endeavored to write a short story anthology about the events of the Scouring, so I find that I am still interested to see other people's rendition of it.

I'm a little perplexed by Ephidel's hatred of humans. Why is it so strong? Is it just due to his (infuriating) superiority complex, or is it Nergal's influence, or something personal? Evidently, he is still not impressing me very much.

It's still hard for me to place how I feel about the story overall. I think it's mostly because I don't really favor any of the characters, but also the pace feels a little languid. I think I would enjoy the leisurely pace if there was something captivating about the world, but as I've commented before, I can't glean very much from the prose. Well, enough of my complaints! It's still a little early.

That's all I have to say for now. Later!

Hiho i've finally got around to write down a review. Because I'm condensing my thoughts on the last few chapters in this single review, thoughts might be a little disjointed. Pardon the clutter!

One thing that stood out that isn't really a big thing but was a little detail that did make me pause reading (to take a leaf out of your book on nitpicking :P) was that in the first chapter, I think you referred to Eliwood as infamous... I don't really think that's the right word to describe him, considering he is anything but. I don't have really much else to say about the first chapter, since it's mostly a narrative of the game, but I will say that it's reminded me why I hate Ninian as a character so much. She galls the feminist in me (which is not a very prominent portion of me, I might add.) But I digress...

And I can see what you meant by your writing preference. I find your style a bit... bare. Perhaps I'm a little of an aesthetic too. I mean, you describe just enough of a framework for me to imagine a little of what your world looks like, but it feels a little cold and empty. I imagine the world of dragons to be very majestic, ethereal... but I don't get that sense at all. In fact, I'm not sure what to think it looks like. It just seems that you're not as preoccupied with it at the moment in this part of the story though, so I'll spare you more complaints about the visuals.

One thing I am having trouble overlooking though, is that everyone... everyone is so PROUD _ As someone who tends to gravitate towards the humble, chivalrous characters, I'm having a hard time latching onto anyone because they're all trying to 1up each other o_o I'm sure they have their reasons because they're all awesome and powerful and etc etc... but it's a little stifling for me at the moment. Hopefully my initial judgments will give way towards more empathy towards them as I get to know them more. Hopefully also I'll be more impressed with Ephidel in the way I'm sure he is meant to be impressive, rather than being repelled by his conceit as I am presently. I'm closest to liking Morcere. But we shall see, because it's not really fair to say with the cast being as limited as it is this early on.

I guess I can say, however, I'm interested in Lacentis because I'm mostly curious as to the circumstances in which she lost her dragonstone, and that there seems to be a least some sort of back story to her, even if she hasn't made a very likable first impression. I'll also be definitely interested to see how the culture has developed among the dragons, the repercussions of the Scouring and more discourses on magic. I hope my reviews in the future will thus be more useful to you, because as of now I just have scattered thoughts :/ Until then!

This chapter was very well written, I liked all the details that were in it; it gave me a clear image of what was going on. Great job. :D

"himself and held the key eve now"
Just a typo

Other than that, I think that this is your best chapter yet. I can't find a part of it that I have real issue with and especially enjoy the bit where you discuss the mechanics of each type of magic. I love that stuff and really like this chapter.

I'll start with the parts I don't like

"their attacks to quickly eliminate one of them from the battle at a time". In short, there are too many pronouns. Kind of like the bible. I can tell who is doing what to whom, but it would help to call only one entity they, them, or any variations thereupon

"Ephidel saw him standing before the people in the mirror, resulting in utter silence as they demanded an explanation."
A crowd can demand something, but this is usually done through some spokes person or a bunch of people shouting something similar at different cadences. It's not a huge issue, but something that I think you should address.

Also, I think that you should put more explanation into the mirror. Ephidel has no idea as to what this is, and I think that it would totally be in character for him to find out everything about it that he possibly can. For example, how is it that the mirror produces the sound? Does it sound like he's in that place in which all of the dragons are gathered? Is the sound faint? Does it not agree with the picture? Does it come from a particular part of the mirror or is it Psychically beamed into his head. Ephidel is a smart guy and has recently come into contact with a new piece of magitech. GO CRAZY.

On the brighter side, I really like the battle. I like how you thought to have the side of Naga attack wildly and get hopelessly annihilated in the process. Anyone who has played Rome: total war can tell you that such a tactic just doesn't work. I like that there was a hidden plan that the reader was not privy to and that said plan was both reasonable and practical. That's where your story shines and I don't know why you don't make a point of including more of it in your fiction.

This seems like a return to the older chapters, and I have to say, I'm pleased with it because you go to such lengths to explain the way the world of Fire Emblem works, at least how you interpret it. It seems quite plausable the way that their magic works, and I have to say I'm impressed that you took the time to just explain things.

I wonder though if Morcere is really going to keep Ephidel and Lasentis around though. I mean they know all about his plot, and while I doubt Lasentis would do anything, I wonder if Ephidel will try to squeeze some other sort of advantage from it. They're both loose ends for Morcere. I don't know why I thought of it. Maybe it was her saying that they couldn't trust Ephidel.

In any case, this was yet another good chapter. I like how you include the items like Master Crowns and you make it seem like it could really be there. I know in my own work, I found those items a little too game-like to incorporate, even though it's fan fiction based on the game if that makes sense. But the way you do it, you make it sound like they could really work. Again, I hope that makes sense.

Well done once again.

Sorry for the delay in reading. You posted two chapters, and here I am just now reviewing one.

I have to say that battle scenes are some of the hardest scenes to write in my opinion. Maybe it's trying to capture that sort of chaos in a way that seems to work, but you've done it very well. The fight between Jou and Vidier was written very well. And it seems Morcere's plan is proceeding. It's something that the people are already applauding him, even if he is a traitor, but with a story like the one he told, what else can they do. This story takes political intrigue and does it so well. I wonder how it will work out when and if Naga actually returns because then everyone will know Morcere is lying. But that's still probably a way away.

In any case, you've done well once again.

Sorry that I haven't reviewed in a while, but I'll do a whole bunch right now.

"searching for my throne". He knows where the throne is. Maybe seeking would be a better word. I feel like a lot of Naga's lines are awkward in that way or a similar one. Not that finding the right line is easy; I don't even know what it is, but I feel like the actual dialogue is a weak part of this chapter.

I understand that this is a bit of story that has to happen, but I don't think that there's enough detail in all of the chapters I've read to be surprised by or guess the actions of all of the dragon kings except Vidier.

Also, Regulus' name is phonetically identical to the Sirius Black's younger brother. Just saying.

All around this is a very good start for this story. Ephidel seems to be a very interesting character, his personality is very different than most Fire Emblem villains. Though I have a question. In this sentence "When did you," began Lyn. Is the comma after the word 'you' an alternative to a hyphen? Just wanted to know.
But back to the chapter in its entirety, I felt it was very good, packed with emotion and details. I'll be reading more. :)

They mean nothing in any language I know of... what kind of language would you actually understand that uses symbols? :p

The comment about the two hands working together and not strangling each other is epic, by the way.

I just don't quite want him to know sounds weird to me, even if it is 100% correct. Not sure why.

"Hmph. That's not very useful. I suppose I'll just have to search through all my spies then." Morcere muttered a few words of magic, and a small black figure rose from the ground and wriggled up to Morcere's skull, disappearing inside of it. The old archsage stared off into space for a time, seemingly lost in thought, before snapping to attention. Honestly, I haven't the slightest idea what the heck Morcere is doing here.

Warp magic is supposed to have a star inside the entire circumference of the circle, with all five points making contact with the circle "edges". If you actually want to understand what I'm trying to say, look it up on the Fire Emblem Wiki.

Whew! That's a lot. Keep up the great writing, but don't let it kill your schooling!

Oh noes Archsage Ephidel! He shall now bathe the world in darkness!

Fantastic chapter! I am LOVING the references to FE10, like the Master Crown and Duke Tanas XD XD XD Not much I can say other than that...lookin forwards to the next chappy :D

Ooh! Ooh! I found typos! A first! BUT NOW I CAN'T FIND THEM. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Oh yes, here's one of them at least:

*Naga's eyes narrowed. "So you're a traitor too?" he growled*

Missing a period at the end of "growled". Bwa ha ha.

Don't worry about anticlimactic-ness. It's never an issue. Were we expecting a really super climatic situation anyway? I just thought Naga would just get killed in a matter of paragraphs once he was confronted, so I got more than expected! Not that I have high standards, of course. I am the worst person to be here writing these things. :p

Meteor is found in FE4 and 5 as well, so that's what I first thought of when you mentioned it.

Don't kill yourself writing now!