Good gods, what possessed you to write this?!

I'm not complaining, though. It's absolutely brilliant writing. I love the raw emotion you've managed to capture, and you wrote the Master incredibly. Well done!

Awesome fic! I wish there was a way for you to revive it, tell the story of the aftermath. The Doctor's recovery, Martha, Jack, even Francine taking care of him. He deserves to be taken care of so much...and I want Francine to stop hating him. The Master is not the Doctor's fault. He does not deserve her hatred.

And what happened to Rose and Nine? I hope they were returned, no worse for wear, to their own time. Or, at the very least, not irretriveably damaged. Did the Master succeed in twisting Rose's mind, breaking her? I hope if he did, it was reversed.

The thought of a child Doctor is very cute.

I feel so sorry for the Doctor for how it ended here, qith him killing the Master without meaning to. I hope he can recover. *sob*

WOAH! THIS WAS SO GOOD HOLY SHIT

This is awesome! Please write a sequel!

Awesome story! Very well written! I adore your writing style. It's very professional but not boring and incomprehensible. And as for the content, I couldn't have done anything better myself.

Love
So much love

Aweh!~

Oh my goodness! Poor doctor trying to help someone, he is only a child -sort of

I don't who should feel more sorry, the doctor or the master :O

I think even my own poor ape brain got confused by all these names and meanings ... poor little Doctor, no wonder he's angry

These are so good and so very in character. They are beautifully written, flow spectacularly and just down right...fantastic.

I also wanted to say, after looking at the other stories you have written, I can't believe this is your only Doctor Who story! It's wonderful and I wish you would have continued with the fandom but I also love Sherlock dearly so I'll be stalking those stories now.

Even though it's just pieces of an unfinished story, it's fantastic! I don't know why but recently I've been interested in the idea of a de-aged Doctor, maybe it was after re-watching Sound of the Drums, and I was surprised to find I couldn't find many stories written about it. I mean, we see the Master age the Doctor hundreds of years, what would have happened if he decided to de-age him instead? I'm not a strong writer and I'm relatively new to the fandom so I don't want to write a story and risk making serious mistakes otherwise I would write it myself. Anyways, I really love this story even if it's unfinished. I'm surprised it doesn't have a lot of reviews.

I cheated and read the last chapter; it's interesting, keep going! :-D

I wanted to read something by you that wasn't the Sherlock TV series (sorry, no disrespect to the fandom intended!), so I picked 'Scenes That Never Were', from a fandom I don't know much about. The story's nearly a year old, so I'll try to avoid nitpicking this time.

It was difficult for me to follow the point of view in the first chapter - first it's the Doctor, who's presumably been transformed into an infant, then there's Master/Saxon/Koschei, and it felt to me as if the narrative switched to his head with the pronoun confusion in: "Saxon turns to the guards stationed by the door—their discomfort and fear is alarmingly palpable. Their tiny human thoughts tumble through his head like so much water." It's a complex situation with all the confused telepathy, and to me the writing overintensified the confusion. Admittedly I'm also not from the fandom, but maybe cutting out some of the more florid adjectives and adverbs would have made this section easier to follow. I felt that the emotional intensity was lessened by the overcomplexity in that part.

I enjoyed the line about pinstripes - whimsical and suitable to the Doctor, and a nice little bit of change of mood there. I also liked the line about "bloody clothes".

Jack's change of point of view was welcomingly easier for me to get into.

It surprised me that Jack recognised the child Doctor in the manner described, since some of the features mentioned didn't seem to be the right forms of recognition for seeing a person at different ages - the way hair grows over time remains constant, but freckles and pale skin are environmentally influenced and children usually seem to have wider eyes than adults. And I'm also used to the idea that the Doctor's always changing bodies, so wouldn't a character's recognition be more geared to gestures and stances and habits and knowledge? But again, I'm outside the fandom.

As a reader I felt slightly manipulated by the child-Doctor contrivance - as if it was too blatant a device to gain "Aww, how cute and pitiful" reactions. But stories like this are a valid genre in fandom, so I should not whinge about them. I liked this part about the boy's reaction to the telepathy:

""Stop stop stop no, you're wrong!" the boy says, both audibly and telepathically as he stumbles backwards. Jack's ears register unintelligible Gallifreyan but instantly, disconcertingly understands the words as they're projected forcibly into his mind, "you're wrong don't touch me I can't block it, I can't block anything!" the Doctor's small face is screwed up in pain as he finally hits the far wall and sinks down it, sobbing."

It came across as emotionally strong to me.

And I also liked the part about making Jack a living torture device - that was ingenious and quite chilling.

Immediately afterward, though, it seems in the story that the Doctor is gaining some of his confidence and abilities back. To me, that felt 'too soon' - not that it's good to have characters wallow and wallow in angst, but I thought that the tension was relieved in too short an order. It definitely makes sense that a six year old Doctor is still very old on the inside, though! Perhaps if it was clearer that the Master was deliberately torturing him by forcing him to have a juvenile mind, that would have given both sides of the equation of a pitiful youngster and an ancient Time Lord in yet another younger body.

(By the way, in the early part, I was picturing a *much* younger Doctor than six; although he is described as standing and is therefore not a baby, the metaphor 'newborn puppy' is used and the character seemed barely verbal in that scene.)

The last bit of the first chapter seemed like it would be exciting if I knew the fandom - I liked the descriptions of it at the very end. Vivid and obvious that something is intriguing, if unclear and opaque to me personally.

Hope that this feedback manages to make the grade! Good luck with your writing - I think it's very good. :)