Loving this story. Fantastic characterisation. Would love to see it finished some day. :-)

I am becoming extremely interested in this storyyyyy!

When's the next chapter?

Great story so far!

"..John bit on the grin threatening to creep over his face. Sherlock saw it and made no attempt to repress his own mischievous smile, which cajoled a chuckle from John, who glanced away to study the street life.

"You're a real sod, you know," He jibed..."

YES, YES JOHN, SHERLOCK CAN DEFINITELY BE A REAL SOD. WE KNOW. LOL

"...A young twenty something was perched on the end of a shiny metal bench, shoulder-blades stabbing at the thin cotton of a grey hoodie. His trainer-clad feet tapped ceaselessly, and his eyes darted hither and thither, round and a little bit hunted. Sherlock would know the nervy, stinging speed of an addict anywhere."

OH EXCELLENT DESCRIPTION of the young addict here. Very well done.

"..The cafe was a breath of white linen and hot burnt sugar. It was small, as were the prices scribbled in white chalk above the counter, but it was clean and neat as a pin.."

MORE GOOD IMAGERY. VEry simple but very effective.

"..."For the love of all that is holy, Sherlock, if I ever find that collection of fingernails anywhere near something we eat again, I will torch everything you've ever loved."

LOL. Good chapter. I liked the way you managed to convey the slight nervousness the young informant had when Sherlock and John first confronted him. As if he thought they were "there for other reasons."

Good job!

You live! OMG, I have this on my Rec list, and was actually recently wondering if it had been abandoned.

I like the diary bits: "It's my diary anyway, and I know what's what, no need to explain myself to myself." Heh heh.

And Sherlock, too. So hopefully we'll get to the M-rated bit sometime before 2013?

As always, I look forward to more ;-)

I like it! I love how Lestrade has clearly put two and two together getting 4 while John is still getting 3!?

And Sherlock's security measures, *giggle* exactly what he'd do, if not more!

Ta

I really like this story. That was a nice but of self bull shitting Sherlock had. Lucky he realizes it.

The story line is interesting, and I like the characterizations:) More please!

A promising start you have here, with the threads of a good mystery already in play and lots of nicely in character John-Sherlock moments. It'd be interesting to see how everything plays out. Keep going please!

...I'm not to good at reviews...But I really want you to continuing writing so...

I LOVE YOUR STORY. Mkay? Like, fo realzies. Like, I mean, come on. What's not to love? The glances, the barely touching, fleeting moments of affection. It's pure crack I tell ya. If you don't write more I'll just have to go on and actually get a drug addiction. Don't make me a drug addict. Write some Sherlock and John Mclove-ings.

Please?

Interested in seeing where this is going. Looking forward to more.

What is kerb-crawling? This is very interesting and well-written. I'm intrigued... can't wait for more!

It feels authentic to me but I'm american. I feeol intrigued by the mystery so kudos

I just got alerted to this chapter and I'm delighted. It's very interesting, and informative, and yes I know no one wants to hear that in a review, but I stand by the comment, the difference between light-weight discourse and something that makes your brain think for a moment or two is VAST.

I prefer the latter in case your wondering.

Ta

Amazing story. You are definitely a skilled writer with a knack for putting together a good whodunit.

I'm not familiar with the BBC show, but I am a fan of the old "classic" Holmes, so my biggest question about your story is probably due to my own ignorance about the show. But when exactly is this set - present day or Victorian Era? Obviously, there are items in your story that wouldn't have been around in Victorian Era (laptops, Facebook, texting,etc.).

Since the rest of your research was so thorough, I have to guess the show must be set in modern times.

There was only one bit of wording that didn't flow well. In chapter two you say ". . .eyes rifling through the contents . . ." followed immediately by "John's eyes roved over . . ." It's repetitive, and the first one gave me a mental image of eyeballs hopping out and fingering the items in the drawer. Perhaps you could say:

"John found him in the bedroom, rifling through the contents of a white dressing-table drawer."

I loved the hint of sexual tension between Holmes and Watson. You've got a nice slow build going on. Also, the conversation between them about homosexuality was very revealing.

I'm curious about your use of first names, though - in the books, it was always Holmes and Watson, never Sherlock and John. Again, that may be my mistake because I don't know the show.

Overall, a terrific job. I am so glad you shared this with us. I can't wait for the next update.

BBBKA

Member of Critics United