pity that there is no continue

Wonderful start!

This story is awesome! Please update i really want to see more Kirei being badass!

This story of yours is amazing!

Interesting intro
Looking forward to more
Kirei has a harem, worth to see this.

Ok this story is the first to potray kirei as a good? Man or at least a person that is easy to understand and not hate. So props to you good sir and keep on writing!

...well.. the last part of the summary summed up my thoughts quite perfectly...

I Dont Think Kotomine Kire Is Evil He Just Wants To Feel Some Emosion Its Easy For Us To Feel Emotions But Look At It From His Porspactive And I Think The Reason He Wish He Had Killed His Wife Is Because He Wanted To Be There Im Her Last Moments.

Interesting.

You got me at Harem. Then you added Kirei. I have got to see this, that's what I thought. And after reading the chapter, I am still interested in how would it go forward from hereon.

Carry on.

pretty good chapter so far, a very interesting idea, great details. You really need to work on grammar and spelling though, and writing things like "I'm" not "Im", among other things. Work on that, and you'll probably have yourself one hell of a story.

Thanathos

Impatient arent you. You didnt even bother waiting for Chapter 2. I cant really fight back against your arguments seeing that you are a veteran at the story telling business and im pretty much a newbie at this.

True enough, I assumed Kirei already knew the healing arts during his training as an Executioner at the assumption that people from the church have atleast some knowledge of the healing arts. My bad but I'll stick to it

As for Jamila, well... I cant justify myself without spoiling too much but yes she is a copy of Maiya (I want my own Maiya too .). All I can say is that she wont be appearing in the 4th war.

Kirei is Lawful Evil in my book for a few reasons. He heals the sick because he is duty bound as a priest (though that is part of my misunderstanding) and he got bored from the constant searching but he wont hesitate to massacre them if the need arises. He places his search at top priority thus when he discovers that there are no answers in Africa, he leaves them to die for all he cares.

About picking up orphans, well... like i stated above, I want my own Maiya . Very selfish i know .

As for the anti-hero thing. Like I said, he doesnt really care of how many he saves, hell, he doesnt care if he even saves anyone but he is duty bound as a priest to do so (once again, my misunderstanding about the nasuverse church)

As for African magecraft, Kirei is best at healing ONLY (though this is me being biased. I am a roman catholic). When it comes to OTHER types of magecraft, that is another matter which will be proven by Jamila in the 5th war

The changes and inconsistencies were ment to add a little mystery which were suppose to be explained in future chapters. Since you didnt even bother waiting then i am forced to explain it now

You know, the idea itself is not a bad one, but, and please do not take this review as a flame, something about your Kirei just doesn't sit right with me.

Kirei was silent and professional, and later he was mocking. While you can argue that your Kirei went through a change of heart with his wife's suicide, your Kirei is still too... crude for my tastes. Don't forget, we're talking about the man who took up many fields, including that of a priest and an Executor, and walked away when he was just a step away from the top. Twisted or not, he is still a very well educated man. For him to throw around insults like they're free candy... it just doesn't fit. Kirei practically never went for any insults, he preferred mind-games and psychological warfare, while Fourth War-Kirei was straightforward, blunt and to the point. However, neither let themselves get carried away to crude insults against enemies, especially not against enemies that pose no threat to him. You can't just have a mannered, educated man trashtalk like some ghettopunk without explaining such a drastic shift in character.

Regarding Kirei's character, if he's such a helpful spirit now, why did he leave Africa like a total asshole? I mean, he could have just said that he was officially a member of the clergy and had been called back for something, or that there was something he needed to check back home. I mean, you have this guy go to a place, stay there for months and heal people out of the goodness of his heart, and then have him leave with a 'I know this is sudden, but I'll be out of the continent by sunrise, and by the way, had I done my official job, I would have butchered you all. Goodbye.' WTF? You have to let us into his thought-process, or else the entire thing will just seem like random jumps in personality.

And please don't take this personal, but the way you introduced her, your Jamila kinda seems like a Maiya-knockoff. I mean, a child found in the middle of a warzone, taken up and taught, this is exactly like Kiritsugu/Maiya.

Lawful Evil? From what you've shown so far, he seems Lawful Neutral at best. What has he shown? Grief over his wife. Tries to get her back. Heals people. Picks up orphaned child and helps her. Doesn't, despite the fact that her emotional dependance on him should have become obvious to a priest like him very early, train the girl to be his weapon. Shows no mercy to criminals. Has a very economic standpoint regarding the dead, taking their organs as transplants to potentially save lives rather than let them rot. Explains his departing in the most brutal manner possible. Yes, pure evil I see here. Seriously though, this is more like an anti-hero than a villain.

On a different note, Kirei the best healer in Africa? You're really lookind down on African Thaumaturgy here, aren't you? If they really were that crappy, the Church would have slaughtered them ages ago. Not to mention that Kirei for one thing is more adept at spiritual surgery and healing the spirit than actual operations, and that secondly Kirei DIDN'T KNOW ANY MAGECRAFT UNTIL 6 MONTHS BEFORE THE WAR! He was taught by Tokiomi Tohsaka when it was revealed he was going to be a Master, the Church generally doesn't teach magecraft to its members, not even to the Executors, so how does your Kirei know enough to gain such a reputation?

Altogether a interesting idea, but the changes and inconsistencies need to be explained better.

Well, this is pretty good. Whikle I have hard time imagining it, but if Kire grow a heart than some of his reaction here for being cold and selfish makes sense. Before he would ahve did things with no care or feeling, but now he is goal driven man...But this way Kirisugu will not feel the unknown threat from him like before and Kirei will not actively hunt for Emiya.