u should read the Hunger Games. u write awesome fanfiction. i know u can do awesome of the HUNGER GAMES

Really like it. Such determination. Natalie is a one of a kind. She is her oen person, and she knows that. Maybe she just can't accept it.

This is great! I love it!

my favorite part was "but i didnt say anything. Because my voice sounded exactly like hers." very good

I remember you requesting a review a while back, so here it is, as delayed as it is. My deepest apologies. School is such a bother. :/

In any case, I really enjoyed this. I had a similar idea a ways back about Ian and Vikram, although I doubt I'll ever have the idea to write it. Anyway, it's an idea that I /do/ love. :)

Joyce really caught all the major flaws in this piece that I could see. Tenses were definitely your biggest weakness. I suggest a beta to help you with that.

She also pointed out the bare sentence problem. Dramatic effect is beautiful (I use it all the time), but you need to make sure not to abuse the enter button. If the words still flow together nicely, keep them in the same paragraph. And sometimes, add a bit more description/substance to your sentences (or meat, as some would say, but I'm vegetarian, so...).

ANYWAY. Joyce really caught just about everything. My biggest two points for you to work on would be tenses and paragraph substance. But really, despite the fact this might seem like a whole lot of harsh CC, I completely enjoyed this little piece. Your greatest strength here had to be emotion and keeping Natalie IC. You show a lot of potential, and I would encourage you to keep writing.

I hope this review helps. :)

~Syberia~

O-oh my gods.

OH MY GODS! *starts crying*

That was beautiful. Just...so beautiful...I love Natalie-centric stories when she's wondering about who she really is. Because sometimes I feel like that too. Don't we all? But you are one of the few people who can portray her with such emotion, such strong empathy.

And I than you for making my day with this story. Because even if it might be a fanfiction for some people, It feels like a truly inspirational story to me.

I hope you have future success with your amazing art of writing and understanding people.

-Arieda Gardner/EmpressofRandomness

Good job. I always enjoy stories where Natalie decides, even though she used to look up to Isabel, that she won't let herself become like her. So this made me happy. :)

~Lily

Oh, goodness. No CC reviews? *facepalm* Anyway.

First section. Good. Tenses are weird, though. I suggest rewriting the sentence where the car drives away. Is it present or past?

-

Second section. You don't really need all the interim {did I use that word right?} little sentences. If I were you, I'd go:

We look exactly alike.

Long, ebony hair, as smooth as silk.

Stunning amber eyes, {insert something}

Coffee-toned skin, {insert something}

I inherited it all from her.

-

I love the third section. The one-liner at the end is beautiful. Also the one at the beginning.

-

Fourth section. I'd say "It's like a virus" for the second sentence.

-

Fifth section. Natalie wouldn't cuss. Take out "heck." Also, it should be "I will never know." And I'd put that in a separate line."

-

Sixth section. Great. Perfect.

-

Seventh section. FLO is not a proverb. I'd go:

"FLO. That was what we'd always say."

-

Last section. Perfect.

-

Overall: Loved it. A lot of awkward tense changes. Read it over a few times. There's several spots where it just feels . . . off, you know?

But great job. Keep writing. :)

~Joyce

Love this!

I don't have time to say more! :'(

*highfives Nat* THAT'S IT GIRL!

Bravo! I love this! I didn't spot any mistakes in it either (But that's just me)

I love what you did... Why do I make everything a big deal!

Well, Natalie WAS just like her... now... Well... The story says it all!

Encore!

YAY! Don't worry, I knew it was from Natalie's perspective :D. This was awesome, because it was written differently than most of the stories on here. im guessing this was a one-shot...?