This was funny. Was Ginny drunk? Because she seemed rather OOC to me. I think that the story could have been a little clearer, some parts where rather confusing. Other than that this was an amusing and fun read. Well done. :)

Hello.

This was a nice twist on the Ginny/Harry relationship. I can see this happening to her more than I can anyone else. Ginny's that type of impulsive, headstrong character that takes what she wants instead of just sitting around and waiting for it to fall in her lap.

Great job!

This was really sweet! I liked how you had Ginny ask Harry, although I did feel like Ginny being that giddy was a little out of character... or was she drunk too? Great characterization on Hermione. Although this was mostly dialogue with not much description, i still felt like I new where they were and could picture the room, even though, thinking back now, i can't. Great job!

I really liked how you had Ginny be the one to propose to Harry! I could picture that happening more than I can picture him proposing to her. I think that she's a rather strong character who wouldn't pay attention to traditions such as guys being the ones to propose. I also liked how you included that Molly wouldn't have been happy because it was very in character.

There were a lot of grammar mistakes that were rather distracting from the story itself. I also think it would have flowed better if there was less pointing out who said what. Sometimes it's good to show who is speaking, but most of the time the reader can figure it out rather easily.

The ending was great, though! I didn't even think about the possibility of them being drunk, but it would explain why Ginny was so giddy.

Nice work!

-Morghen

Too cute! There are a lot of H/G fics about Harry agonizing over proposing to Ginny; it's nice to read one that turns convention on its head. The fact that Harry's not there makes me imagine he's passed out under the tree, and Ginny wandered off, drunk and oblivious, to spread the happy news...the thought of both makes me giggle.

There were a few punctuation mistakes, and maybe too much back-and-forth between the girls dependent upon too many dialogue tags, i.e. said, yelped, choked, informed, confessed, interrupted, etc., but given that it was written within such a short time limit, it's understandable.

Very funny my friend! Very funny. I loved the ending, it was so perfect! Ginny was totally true to canon as well as Harry and Hermione even though we don't actually see Harry, this seem likes just the kind of thing he would do. :)

I loved the part where Hermione asked if Harry was drunk or not and Ginny's reply.

4/5

This was interesting - certainly not your average Harry/Ginny story! I liked the way you kept Hermione completely in character as a contrast to Ginny, who I'm guessing is also a little drunk. I did think, though, that you described how the girls were saying everything a little too much. Whilst this added detail, I felt that you could at times have just written "said Ginny"/"said Hermione" and let the dialogue speak for itself, if you'll pardon the pun. This would have helped it to flow a little better in my opinion.

Very sweet and to the point. I really adore the fact that Ginny was the one to propose and that it was a slip of the tongue :) It is great to see that you kept Hermione in character. I have to say though, the most interesting thing about this story is that it is clearly a GW/HP fic- but without a HP appearance. It was unique way to go about it! The only one little thing that I can spot is that you use the word "dreamily" in the last four or five lines about three times- it is just a bit repetitive, that is all. But apart from that (which is just nit-picking) this fic was gorgeous and your closing line was very amusing. Well done and thanks for sharing :)

Aww! I loved this. It was sweet and funny. I can so see Ginny being the one to propose to him, though I do see how Molly would be upset. I mean, yeah, the idea of the women taking it inot her own hands is great and all, but it's just... so... yeah, untraditional.

"Was he drunk?" "Extremely!" I love that part! I'm very jealous though. xD How can you write something so well in 48 Hours?

Very amusing! I really liked the way that you had Ginny propose to Harry; it's something that I haven't seen a lot of but I think that it fits the characters very well. And adding Hermione to the picture really helped make the whole thing fit together nicely.

The only complaint that I have is that it was much too short. (I say that because I really enjoyed it) I would have loved to see you start the story a little earlier. Maybe add a scene before Hermione spots Ginny. It would really help set up the feeling for the story.

Overall, looks good to me! I enjoyed it and I want to thank you for sharing!

-MadameGiry25

I thought this story was cute. I think you nailed the characters' personalities. And I like the fact you've captured their friendship rather well.

I found this humorous. I don't read much Harry/Ginny, but it's a first to have Ginny propose to Harry. But it's a very nice idea.

I couldn't see any mistakes that were obvious. But I am curious, was Harry and Ginny drunk when she proposed?

Overall, this was enjoyable and a nice, light read :)

I think that this was a really lovely little story. I loved how you showed the friendship between Hermione and Ginny. I think you did a really good job showing the relationship between them, and also did a great job of keeping them both in character. I think the dialogue you had going on between them was good and rather entertaining.

Generally your spelling and grammar was okay. The mistake that really stood out to me however was in you dialogue.

“"What's wrong? Are you okay," Hermione belatedly asked her, "Where's Harry?"” In my opinion this sentence should read ““What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Hermione belatedly asked her. “Where’s Harry.”” I’m sure you know about the question mark after okay, and that was a simple mistake. The other thing was the full stop before the second set of quotations. I saw you put a comma there a couple of times, rather than a full stop. The words between the two bits of dialogue is describing the first bit of dialogue, hence there would be a comma before it, if there wasn’t a question mark that is. But it isn’t attached to the second bit, and is the end of the sentence, so there should be a full stop. However, it would be the other way around if the sentence read something like: “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Hermione paused for a moment before adding, “Where’s Harry?” In this case the bit in the middle is describing the second bit of dialogue so there is a comma, attaching it to it. And if there wasn’t a question mark there would be a full stop, because the first bit isn’t attached. …. I feel like I have done a rubbish job of explain this and you are probably very confused by now. I apologise if this is the case :)

I think you did quite a good job of adding humour to your story, without being completely and utterly over the top. Funny stories are always really enjoyable to read, but I feel that few people can do them well. So congratulations with this.

I think the beginning of the story was a little bit abrupt. It just sort of started, as if we had come in midway through the story. You didn’t necessarily have to give a complete back story and explain the entire situation, it’s always nice to leave a little to the imagination and the readers aren’t exactly stupid.

But I felt if you had eased yourself into the story, or given a little bit of description that would have improved the start of your story.

Saying this, I thought the ending of your story was very good. A rather creative and humorous way to end the story.

Also I would like to commend you on completing this story in 48 hours. That’s only two days, minus (hopefully) some sleeping and eating time, to complete a story. It usually takes me forever just to get started on a story so I think that you have done a great job completing this story in such a short time period.

My favourite line was, "You must understand that Harry does wonderful things with that mouth of his..." Very funny :)

Overall this was a very nice story. The idea was cute and realistic, Ginny seems like the type of girl who would propose on whim. You’ve done very well :) Good luck for your future writing.

48hrs! How on earth did you manage it? It's such a short time... Anyway, as with all 48hr stories, it's expected that the ideas aren't all that fine-tuned and such, so for the challenge, I'd say you've done an excellent job.

One thing I really did like about this story was how easily you slipped the prompts in. I hadn't actually noticed that there were prompts until I was re-reading your story and saw the note at the top of the page. Usually prompts are awful and stiff and forced in, so I'm glad that yours seemed natural within the story.

I like how smitten Ginny is! Although I find a girl using the term "birds" a bit strange, it was very sweet how she wasn't keen on anyone else having him. Hermione's response to Ginny's little secret was also very fitting.

There were a few grammar mistakes here. The one that stuck out most to me was the commas with dialogue.

- Ginny happily nodded, "He quickly agreed and then he kissed me."

Because the "happily nodded" is not referring to how she spoke, you would use a fullstop, not a comma.

- "What a lucky guy," Hermione mused aloud, "where did you propose to him?"

Because you are not continuing with the previous sentence, the comma after "aloud" should be a fullstop and the "where" should be a capital.

- "Then what do you mean," Hermione asked.

Because she's asking a question, the comma after "mean" should be a question mark.

Hopefully those points make sense to you.

Other than that, I found this a very amusing piece, particularly the end. :3 Well done and good luck with future writing.

Hehe, this made me giggle. :)

This seems totally plausible. Ginny has always been such a strong-willed character, and I honestly think this is something she would have done in canon, drunk or not. In fact, the whole time I was reading this I couldn't help but think it took place not too long after the final battle; I can imagine both of them wanting to get things going, but Harry being too polite to ask so quickly. But Ginny, well...she's never really been one to hold back her thoughts, has she? :p

I love the simplicity of the language in this story. It's impressive that you managed to keep both Hermione and Ginny so in-character with few descriptions, which shows you have a talent for writing dialogue. I thought Hermione was especially well done. She's still very Hermione-ish and protective of her friend, yet it's easy to tell she's absolutely dying to know the full story.

I did spot a couple of minor grammatical errors, but they were few and far between and didn't take away from the overall flow of the story. I think you wrote a fantastic piece here, and I can easily see why you're so proud of it. :) Thanks so much for sharing it in the Showcase!