I'm going to try to make this short, because I'm using a PS3, which doesn't permit me to use line breaks. This is one of the best MLP romance fics I've read so far, and I've read quite a bit of them. Had this not been a comedy, pretty much ALL of Pale Hoof's actions would have made him fiction's worst creepy-stalker love interest . . . but here, it's hilarious. If I were to have a few issues with it, it would be that I felt that Dizzy's make-up with Pinwheel didn't feel quite complete to me, at least not until we actaully see her gettting along and accepting Palehoof. That, I think the subplot/history between Pale-hoof and the Princesses seemed to just hit a brick wall. In any case, I think you pretty much nailed the characterization of these dieties. I think few authors fully comprehend that Luna and Celestia are ancient.

i fanilly finished this (i tryed three times before now but the fisrt time i forgot to bookmak it the #2 time i got creeped out with my mind pic dead pony bodies the three i don't remeder i think it was the same as 2 XD) i like your story

So this is the end this was probably one of the most awesome stories I have ever read it brings a tear to my eye thinking of the fact that it is over but so many great things happend in this story and also if you made a sequel to this I would totaly read it but if your mind is fresh out of idea then do you mind if I made a suggestion I was thing a story a Marilyn and how a huge war breaks out between good and evil but when the evil side proves stronger and leaves a trail of dead victims in their wake and not even pale hoof, celestia, and luna's combined efforts are not good enough to win. Marilyn discoveres that she was chosen by fate to defeat the evil and soon she meets a member of the evil side who actually did not like what his side was doing and teams up with marilyn to end the war (I'm sure you can guess that I am suggesting a love story between those two) Any I know you probably won't make such a story because one guy asked you too but I am just asking you to keep it in mand because I'm sure it can end up being a fan favorite among story readers hey it would defently make my favorites list like this story so yeah keep it in mind and once again this was a great story and truth betold I am not really a big fan of love stories but somehow you got this one to really interest me so much I could do nothing but read it so yeah you are a really good story maker and this story was just perfect.

This story is great

Oh my gosh princess luna is useing her megaphone voice well more importantly why does she speak as if there is more then one of her.

Pinwheel: "So...I guess this means we're on the lamb now."
Pale Hoof: "I DO NOT SEE ANY BABY SHEEP."

Wow let's just say I was reading that when I was taking a drink from a water bottle...yeah my screens wet now.

I knew it was him and he really just challenged a guy to a duel and again what good are the guards going to do.

He really thaught they were getting married well more importantly did they have the same marrage system all those years ago

"Hmm There is a tall gray colt dressed as a hobo who apparently likes yelling stalking Pinwheel I wonder who it is" I say sarcastically

Epic back story alert and I liked it seriously pale hoof was just as awesome back then as he is now.

apparently many fear death I don't have such feeling even if death were to pop up in my room right now with his sythe I would not be afraid.

Pinwheel just turned old how cursable.

Well you do not want to disrespect death.

Ah the Gala in truth it is the one party I would not want to go to

Dealing with winter just is not his thing is it.