Oh...dang.

Oh, my god. I'm sorry, Rap

what the fuck? Raph's a bitch.

I literally cried and fell down the stairs after reading this chapter. Thanks a lot. I like it so far, though.

Nice chapter! :)0

Another good chapter, but it could use a little bit of a proof read. The katakana looked good to me so Google Translators got something right.

Just as a small critique. I'd be careful with some of your references to space-based phenomena. For example, in this chapter you have Leo telling Don that 'Mintilians' had an 'average lifespan of 35 years', which really wouldn't be telling Don anything. A year is merely the amount of time that it takes for a planet to orbit its sun and this varies greatly depending on a planet's orbit and distance from its star. Unless the Mintilians planet has the same relative orbital speed as Earth's (which would be highly unlikely), Don would have no idea what '35 years' would mean in terms of actual time.

I know that comment seems a bit picky, but its an example of one of the major problems with trying to use extra-terrestrials and extra-terrestrial phenomena in stories. It requires a lot of extra thought to keep things relatively accurate, and that's generally more than a relatively-short (in comparison to a full blown novel) is given.

Still love this story though.

Finally you admit it, only for your brother to remember your fights and to become terrified of you. Oh Raph, don't lose hope Leo might still come back.

:Bowfly:

It's definetly going to be a VERY very long day for ya Leo. Raph quit it you know its Leo, you just won't admit.
:Bowfly:

Not bad for a raph pov. Im still happy u wrote again. Cant wait for the next chapter, trust me I waited long enough for the 14th one. Well bye for now.

Oh my GOD! I love u, I love u I LOVE U! I did give up on your story I didnt think u would ever write the next chapter. It feels like ive been waiting forever. But now u wrote and im so happy. Well bye for noe cause I have to read the next chapter

Very interesting
Poor Raph and leo!

please up date soon

Don't you just love those unplanned chapters? I do! In the story I'm working on, not gonna lie, I've had about two or three unplanned chaps but I must admit they do help a lot with the story.
I liked this chapter. I liked how Raph is finally starting to figure out that Leo is worse off than he thought. It does pose an interesting question, what would Leo be like without all of his honor and what if he had been lied to and told he was with the foot? Also, I'm a little sad that Kiya left so suddenly. I know there are some people who don't like OC's and complained but I truly did like her. I like how you didn't force her upon us and you weren't all like, "love her! Love my OC!" I liked her and I felt that her and Leo were good together.
As much as I hate when brothers fight I also like the hardness that Raph is showing to Leo. At first I thought it was strange that the guys didn't automatically recognize Leo and all be like, "LEO YOUR BACK AND WE LOVE YOU!" But then I thought about the fact that they thought him dead for the past what? Three years? Three years is a long time and people change. Also, with all those scars on his face and no memories Leo might be damn near unrecognizable.
I love this story so much, it's so unique! I cannot wait for an update! Please don't leave me hanging another six months for another one! :)
-uhh, sorry for such a long review. I like getting long reviews so I figure other people like them too :) can't wait for an update!
-Hannah Lynn

Nice little chapter. I think you described Raph's character well in this situation. Can't wait for your next update.

Uhm, well im agreed with Raph, Leo's fears have back to him, so he doesnt know how to act in response, please keep writing! I have enjoyed so far your story, :)

Yay update! The only bad thing is I'm now fuzzy on details... I might have to go back and read the thing over again, lol. :)