This was a good story. You can work on your grammar and expanded a little bit more on her story. The next fanfic you write you should make your OC first then put them in the story because she seemed to be a little all over the place and mary sue ish. But you did really well with this story and hope to see more of your work.

I just found this yesterday and I have to say I frikin LOVED it! it was everything I didn't even know I wanted and more! For sure going in my favorites!

Love this!

OMG! THIS IS THE BEST STORY I HAVE EVER READ! The way you wrote it and still followed the storyline of the show just warmed my heart and when Kai and the twins slept together the first time I thought everything was gonna be so happy and then she said she loved them and they were so scared they ran away and broke her heart. It's the first time I've ever read a fanfiction that made me truly hate the twins for there stupidity but then she had decided to leave with Haruhi to Boston and everything looked like it would stay horrible and then BAM! The twins confess to her and there happy again and then 4 months later she gets the surprise of the two and the other members of the host club and then they propose and she gets engaged to there bratty twins and this whole story is just so beautiful and sweet and had so much angst and fluff and SMUT! I really fell in love with this fanfiction and I'm gonna be back to read it again soon. I'm so glad I stayed up so late to finish this. It's taken me since like 4pm yesterday till 6am now to finish this story but it was worth it. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING THIS!

ENjoyed it, hope the others feel guilt.

I hope she takes the spot light more often that haruhi

Great job on this chapter

Amazing, EXCEPT for the POV change. First person is *I* I am very curious on why you changed to YOU? I would suggest giving a warning as the Reader version can be difficult to read do to the fact that it disrupts the Tempo of the story

I would suggest in the future explaining where in the time line the story starts. I am curious how her presence has change things.

Love this story, it induces feelings like every book should. You have great potential. Hope you continue to make fan fic.

3

Lol very cute story, the first I've read where the twins end up with the same girl.

Ok. This was fucking awesome. It was an amazing story from the beggining til the end. Preach.

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Thanks for the input, KassieJean. Sorry you don't like the story. Unforuntately you have disabled private messaging so I can't address you privately. I wrote this story 4 years ago while battling depression and it was one of the things that helped me get through it. I'd like to remind you that while I have thicker skin and can deal with negative comments like this, there are plenty of writers on here that come on this site to feel safe and write about stuff they love. Constructive criticism is always welcome (although the story IS complete) but be sure to really think about what you type next time you are reviewing on someone's story. You may be the person to either bring a smile to their face or be the reason they don't want to go to their computer and write anymore. Anyways, I rarely come on here anymore but I got an email with your comments and I felt the need to say something.

Kai is always crying about something, seriously.