Nightwitch87 said all that needed to be said. Anything I might add would be gibberish.

Wow. I'm in awe. I have never been particularly sympathetic towards Snape, mostly because of his cruelty towards students he considered inferior, but this story actually had me feeling for him, and that's saying something.

In this brief moment, you capture the true horror of what Snape had to do, and the true destruction of anything he may ever have belonged to in a small, marginal way. Of course he was always rejected -understandably- in the world of the "good guys", but he could at least pretend to be a part of them, under Dumbledore's protection. He was tolerated. Now, that has been ripped from him, that home is gone, and the world that does accept him is not something he desires anymore. It's almost as if he resents Dumbledore for making him desire "good" on the inside, for making him join the force against Voldemort. It means that he will never belong anywhere, as he never has.

We get a sense of hurt and isolation here, but not fully formed pain as it's all blunted through the shock. We get a sense of Snape's world disintegrating even further, of a muted internal response that has been shaped through a history of dissociation. They are just words. Nothing makes sense anymore.

The only thing that does, somewhat, get through to him are Potter's taunts of him as a "coward", which is the one thing he is not. At this moment, he is braver than ever before - he may know this, but he is also an agent, a puppet in a masterplan, obedient as in Voldemort's service. He feels as if he is nothing, because he does not truly belong to one world or the other, and no one will ever know his internal truth now that Dumbledore is gone. The only way he can define himself is through his reaction to the taunts he has endured throughout his life. He truly hates Harry for being "the chosen one", as much as the mission matters to him.

A story written in second person is interesting indeed. I haven't seen many before, but it works in this case. It gives us a further sense of Snape dissociating from his own experience, of the narrator describing it as something the impersonal "you" might feel in such a situation. It wouldn't be right for Snape to say "I feel".

I like how you convey so much in this short story. Well done!

This was so sad and you portrayed Snape's emotions extremely well. Also, I loved that he was still in his 'Professor Snape' mindset (it was this, that had me doubting the whole 'Snape is evil' conclusion at the end of HBP) , when he notes the students out of bed. Great work!

Love it. :)

Excellent chapter. I especially liked the part at the end, when he had returned to the Death Eaters. Thanks for writing. x

Snape is a complexed and difficult character to write. In the scene you're writing for, this is even harder. And you have risen to the challenge magnificently. Very well done, you've really gotten into his head. Keep writing

Interesting.

Intense! A serious, realistic glimpse into the head of a complex, tortured character. You pulled this off brilliantly.