damnit. why you stop the story? this story is really interesting.

WHY

I enjoy reading this story and am sad to see that you are unable to continue it. Still I hope you are able to find someone who can continue the story and keep the feel of things the same.

I love the fights and the techniques used such as the "Five Heads of the Dragon Technique" and the "Buddha's Palm Technique." Pretty creative and effective. I look forward to the other fights.

! I just spent half the night reading this amazing story, and you tell me you give up? Come on, man, where's your pride as an amazing author?

Nooooooo I was really getting into the story please keep going!

Dude, you're doing just fine and it always gets better as you continue to write and learn from it. Keep it up, learn and then rewrite after you decide you've attained a good enough level of skill. many of us read the first rendition and will comment for improvement and ideas which can help you improve. Don't give up so soon!

Lord Darth Destroyeis

It's not the writing itself, it's the content. You first deadly mistake was in the summary, OC/Harem. Or more pointedly OC period. The harem parts are 50/50 shot of working or not working. I avoid harems because putting together a somewhat believable romance amongst the herd is very difficult to do. 9 times out 10 it turns into a crap romance that's just tossed in for cheap thrills and weirdos to get their rocks off. I'll read a story with my most hated single pairing over a harem story anyday.

The OC's aren't really likable in the slightest. I'll never understand the need when there's quite an array of canon cast to choose from. I suppose the need to Mary Sue/Gary Stu your OC's is just too much to resist. And there in shows the major problem with OC's, Mary Sue'ism and Gary Stu'ism. Plus they steal the spotlight from the Naruto canon cast.

Also with this story I would pretty much call it OC centric. As your OC's take up 95 percent of the story. Even admitted in your author notes, but you just admitted defeat in reality. Which is a story killer in Naruto fandom. Maybe in other fandom, although I highly doubt it. Here it's about as wanted as a snow blower is needed in the Sahara Desert.

Good luck with the adoption. Although like I said at the beginning, you can write. You just failed hard by adding your own characters. Hopefully you'll learn from that and not repeat it over and over like some do. Who eventually quit writing in frustration wondering why nobody reads it.

I really like this story! Very cool concept. Dost thou have a beta? I don't have any issues except there are a few minor misspellings and grammer issues, but hey, you can't win them all. :P Waiting on the next chapter

Nice story.. Very nice.. :d

This is a great story so far. You are doing things that some would say is cliche with the training, but it is a required bit that is a reason why everyone does it. Your biggest problem is once you have Naruto trained up he still won't be beating Ryuu. With having someone like him there he will overshadow everything Naruto does.

I am still not exactly certain I understand what was the point of them buying 20percent of that store for. It seemed a little superfluous. Finally, why do you have Naruto have to be dead last, why can't he be a happy middle of the road. Being thought to be dead last will hurt his chances of ever being thought of seriously by his peers, yet it will only take a few fights for his foes to respect his power. I ask you to rethink him being dead last.

Good first chapter i like it. The characters are funny.