Hey, could you please move the story along? I am getting Seriously bored. So stop dawdling and let jesse come already!

Please Update!

oh such a terrible nightmare its worse than my zombie at the beach then the whole world nightmare. JESSE! if anyone had done that to my love well i would most likely kill him. but this is so sad. :( JESSE!

oh my gosh this is amazing its been 7 days. oh jesse. also this jesse is only one (in the many jesses i know meaning the boy ones) that i dont hate. one goes to my school and i think my bff likes him. just had to say it but WHY JESSE? oh i cant stop reading its soooo goood

nice job so glad i can see what happens after she drinks the water i wish the water had made a second book

Deep, man, very deep.

Maybe not quite as blunt a chapter name next time, look for somethingmore original to call it, and even if you just put July 2nd, 2099 or whatever year it is, it would be an improvement over "Seven days had passed." You could've called Chapter 1 "The Beginning of Eternity." Feel free to take that name is you like it. :D Also, midway through the page, I totally forgot that this was supposed to be a journal entry. Sorry, if I am being a bit harsh. :D Also, I'm quite curoius as to what Winnie Foster has been up to these past few years. Has she dated anyone? Has she spent long nights pondering whether or not to drink from the stream? Does she still sit outside the fence each day, waiting for Jesse, waiting for anyone, really? Does Winnie stare at the woods in longing, or avoid looking at it entirely? Does she sit by the stream, feel it rush over her fingers, but not have the courage to drink it at first? What has become of her family? Are her parents alive?

when is she going to be reunited with jesse

hgdgtykknfgfrh

WOW. This story is really deep, but I think you should keep on writing. I like the way that you give Winnie an innner voice, and extreme mixed feelings for Jesse. For ideas, I'm kinda thinking that Winnie will find Jesse, A) with another woman and no memory of Winnie and she has to help him remember or B) Find him mentaly ill for the inability to find her and Winnie nurses him back to mental health. Anyways I love it and you have very obvious talent for writing so keep on writing! :)

This is great so far, please update again soon!:)

c:

Go Winnie!

Woah, definitely getting good. The beginning of the story was "eh." but this is definitely "WOW!" now.

The dialouge wasn't dry in this chapter, really good. The vocab is getting more appropriate, definitely. And I really do like the inner thoughts of Winnie. Although I do believe that in this situation it would be natural for her character to become significantly darker, but I think it's a little TOO dark. You're sort of losing the essence of Winnie in a way.