Good writing. Good imagery. I hate this story, not because the writing isn't good. I hate it because of the rape. Not only did he rape her person, but her spirit. She trusted him on the basic laws of friendship. A REAL, genuine friend would NOT violate basic trust. And she did/ do have the support of the others. Tell me, wouldn't he lose everything if the others found out?

Not bad

I read this a couple days ago and it's been all I can think about. Your warnings are not sufficient. He flat out rapes her. You do a good job of portraying power. Rape is about power, not sex. Yes, he thinks about all the things he'll fantasize about, but notice they are all the things he forced her to do and how she tried to resist or tried to go somewhere else in her mind. I've always thought Kyoya capable of something like this. (I don't write him that way currently, but I've had a couple ideas.) However, I think Haruhi is OOC. Yes, she wants law school, but I don't see her letting him violate her like that for it. I think she would have told him to shove it and left - going to see Mori or the twins and telling them what Kyoya offered. If she did go through with it, I don't think she see him again. I don't think she'd go back to host club. She has more self-respect than that. She most definitely wouldn't have smiled at him, even if it was almost. She also would have lasting trauma.

Like I said at the beginning, you're warnings are not strong enough. This story is about rape, power, and submission. Just because Haruhi didn't fight, doesn't mean she wasn't raped. Just because he managed to get her off, doesn't mean she wasn't raped. Personally, I think that's one of the worst things a rapist can do - make your body betray you. It adds to the guild, it adds to the shame, and it lowers the chances of reporting.

Everyone was so in character. :) your writing style is lovely, and i love how you describe the little details in such a way that i can feel it.

Beautifully written. I loved the tiny interactions in the Ohtori family.

It is truly an amazing piece of literature... that is exactly what this is...

Huh. That was interesting

This is so fantastically well-written. Your style is amazing. Really, one of the most beautiful pieces I've read on this site, and I've read a lot.

I think you've created a shade of Kyouya that no one else has. I think often people either write him too sadistic and machine-like, or too sweet, but here you have a painfully intelligent, calculating, feeling, flawed, and fucked up Kyouya that is just so great to read.

My fave parts: "You can hardly call me a rich bastard, Haruhi... I assure you I'm legitimate" and when Ranka says "I am her /father/..." but seriously the whole thing is just gorgeous. The sex scene was fascinating, and definitely the first dubcon I've read where afterwards I thought "Oh my God that was amazing on so many levels." I would try to beg you for more of them, but you are retired from writing fanfics I take it? Anyway, wonderful job )

Wow, just wow. That was amazing. You captured both characters beautifully.

Very interesting style. I think the short, fragmented scenes really work for a story of this nature, about brokenness.

While I don't think his character would really act that way, I do enjoy darkly written Kyouya. Kudos on the writing. :)

P.S., I really did like the scene at the very end. It was a very realistic detail, even sweet in a twisted kind of way that she thought of his glasses.

This was excellent! Dark, to be sure, but the point of fanfic is to play around in other people's universes and thinking "what if"?

Thanks for writing!

This was definate... Whoa... I liked it.

Though I'm not fond of the content, this is very well written.

i'm afraid i don't quite understand that last part...

Lov it