I loved this! It was wonderful! Well written. Factual without being a text book. Brilliant! Thank you so much! Also, tamora pierce is my FAVOURITE author! Woot!

I loved your story, the plot was really good and the writing was above and beyond what I had expected. Please write more!

That left me breathless.

:)

awwwwwwwwwwww

this is a great one-shot, really well-written and intense action scenes. i love the use of military lingo, it puts a fic on a whole new level when it's obvious the author put a bit of research into the fic, brings it to life in a way

loved it!

:)

Love this fic SO much! And the sequel as well. It's actually an ORIGINAL K Unit plotline, and is written well to boot! Please update soon...

I'm very impressed with your tone, description of logistics and use of technical temrs...the jumbles of letters that are names of guns and missiles, for example. AH goes in for those in a big way, so you're very much in the right style. But what it always seems to me is that with your writing individual bits and pieces are fine, and it's the whole picture that's the problem.

In this fic, you plunged straight in at the climax. That's OK, as it's a oneshot, but in the fic I beta we're already in the middle of the action as well, meaning that generally when I read your work I don't know what's going on. It's a good style to practise - revealing the plot bit-by-bit, keeping the reader guessing - but there's nothing wrong with beginning at the beginning sometimes. And if you're not careful, your work can easily go from mysterious to confusing. I also found that the cuts in this piece made it difficult to remember what was going on. Instead of switchign scenes, you could try just writing an action sequence like this in one smooth sweep. Plus I'm curious about this terrorist group. Plotting is hard, so people often just describe Alex running from a random organisation in climax-style, just as you did here, but I think that you'd be capable of writing a proper story, complete with developed bad guys, evil plot and motive.

I want you to know that I'm being very harsh here. If I'd just coem across this oneshot randomly, having never spoken to you before, I'd have been full of praise, but as I often beta for you I'm trying to look at your writing style as a whole, and figure out ways you could improve. Like I said, there was some jolly good description and Alex-thoughts here, so congrats on the whole, and keep it up.

True

that was awesome! AND Alex saved wolf! Man that was great! though I can't wait for your next chapter on the rest of the story... :)

Lol loved the jib against the Americans. Funny.

This is an awesome story! Now all I need to do is find the sequel...

"So long as they didn’t start frowning at the map, he was content to just tag along."

(Bursts out laughing) I loved that line!

This story brought up a few points about the last one that bugged me - Alex's interrogation was mentioned but no effects were refered to - no bruises, no limping, no nothing. Once Alex replied that he hadn't had much sleep and I think that was it?

Fantastic story this one - I liked the pacing, the rapid confusing battle and Alex struggling along.

I loved when they all hit the dirt.. then again, they're trained for that. When a voice yells 'Down' you get your ass down! :D

*GASP!* Wolf said thankyou to Alex! WOW never thought that would happen LOL bout time though!

:]

Breathtaking. Amazing action scenes. So realistic. This was friggin INTENSE. You can't feel it right now, but jealousy is radiating off of me in WAVES.

1) Ideas - I may have seen similar attempts to throw K-Unit in with Alex, but this is the best, and stands out from the rest because of its sheer originality. Love the concept of Alex in the War.

2) Organization - evidenced. No confusion on my part. Honestly, how could a person pull off such a fic WITHOUT organization? However, some of the scenes could have been meshed into a bigger scene. I'm just pointing this out because you'll never see super short scenes like that in a published book, y'know?

3) Voice - appropriate and riveting and distinct. Great sense of pacing, and it's not over-the-top.

4) Word choice - no elementary level words and no thesaurus rape: bravo. You really painted a picture for me, and (to borrow a cliche) I felt like I was THERE.

5) Sentence fluency - shorter sentences and longer sentences were balanced. This read very well.

6) Conventions – very good. I picked up a few typos, but they didn’t really detract from the overall fic:

“A warm hand caught him just as he knewhe** was...”

“...but Godit** was hard...”

Maybe there were some other ones, but I’m too lazy to find ‘em. :\ Also, please remember that the text after dialogue (barring the dialogue tag) needs to be a separate paragraph.

Well. Anyways, now that I've talked your ear off, you can tell that I adored this fic. I’m so glad I found it. Now I’m gonna go read INEBF. ;D

I thought this was excellent - it was so well written, very realistic and I loved that you included real military lingo too!

I'm really sorry about your grandfather passing away and I hope you are hanging in there :)

Please come back soon! x

Love it!

I loved this! Great job. I'm sorry you lost your grandfather though.