i love this story it is simply amazing the drama and humor and of course the fluffy moments. i also love how tim is a golden cat. i hope you continue this great work, along with innocent blood; ( another personal favorite.)

I love the story,please update! its really interesting.

It's pretty cool how you've phased the characters into real life. I like it. (_) I look forward to your next update!

im lovin it already

waaaaaaaaaaaah~~ you so have to update this

...Beta reader is very important. It takes all of a day or two for a beta to read it over. And it would have saved you a lot of greif from me. _

You need to split up paragraphs where two people are talking. You put Allen and Tiedoll talking in the same paragraph. They need to be split.

Also, when there's a question in dialogue, you still use a ?. Dialogue is tricky. A beta who's good with it (like me) is a good idea. Also, ""Yeah." She said." is incorrect. ""Yeah," she said." is correct. Notice the comma and the lowercase s? When you do dialogue, periods are almost always commas (unless there's no action after the quotation mark or the action doesn't refer to them speaking (like said, whispered, etc.))

Also, easier than putting Xs in place of numbers, you put the phone number first with a 555 as the first three digits after the area code. No phone number exists with 555 (they did that on purpose). Then you say "There was also his address" in normal, and you avoid that problem, too.

You're also comma happy to the max, and therefore, you use commas in all the wrong places. Strangely enough, you don't use them where they're needed.

Oh, and piano benches don't usually have backs. Just random thought.

See all that a good beta could've helped you with? You wouldn't have to suffer through the grammar nazi's rants. XD

Otherwise, pretty good.

Nice chapter, I espacially liked the piano part.

However, while your writing is good, I think you should add more linking words to your sentences like however, although, unfortunately, eventually, stuff like that, you know? It will make the sentences more fluent and make them easier to read.

You should also try to use different expressions for the same words. Because if you have "I have to go to class" "She told him she had to go to class" "He had to go to class, too" it's no good, you understand?

But besides that, I have nothing to complain about, since I like your story indeed very much.

great story!

:) I wouldn't call your fic crap. It was pretty good before. Just needed tweeking.

I see... the long while where you did not update goes to this beautiful chapter, eh?

This story is so good u should write more

I have a question for you: do you have a beta reader? The reason I ask is that there are a couple mistakes here and there that a beta could easily catch. For example, you use "aloud" (like, "speaking aloud") when it should have been "allowed" (as in, "he was allowed to do something"). If you don't have a beta, I'd suggest getting one (they are a big help if you find the right one). If you want a beta and don't want to search, I volunteer myself. XD

I still like the story. I can't wait to read more. :)

This is a good story. Please continue. Allen and Lenalee forever.

hahaha yes i liked how you put timcampy into the story! eh yeahh it was pretty funny and had enough allen/lenalee moments (at least from allen's pov haha).

Yeah... make Komui a bit more crazy, or your main character ( Allen) will die a slow sad death... lol.

P.S. I updated my story