This story was a real pleasure to read. It'd been a while since I consumed anything Firefly-related, and I felt like I was pulled right back into the 'Verse from the beginning. All of the characters were given deep and interesting details in their interactions with Jayne, while still maintaining their personalities from the canon series. Looking forward to reading the other stories in this series :)

This fic was too damn sweet and has left me with a LOT of feelings. I love the voices you've written and the time you take to explore emotions and motives and just... all of it. Umph. A great read.

Enjoyed reading.

This was soooooo fucking awesome.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Great to have a look at a saner River, even for a short while. Seems like Jayne had some feelings he wasn't acknowledging or was unaware he had. I loved when Zoe walked in on Simon and Kaylee after Jayne told her he didn't think she should. And then they talked like they never have before. Great Story!

I have to say, this is certainly an interesting perspectives you have on the characters. Jayne actually trying not to hurt River... well, we saw hints of a much more complicated person during the show. It's just a shame we were never able to see what came of it; Firefly had a lot of potential that was never explored.

And losing his older brother is a good explanation as to why he doesn't really care about Mal's ideals. He might have lost his faith and plenty of friends, but Jayne took his own losses as well. According to the Serenity novelization, he didn't fight because neither side was willing to pay enough, but there are times he's proven to turn down a hefty sum of money.

Even in the show, Ariel does seem to be one of the events that Jayne genuinely regrets. He tried getting them out of there early when he saw what the Alliance did to her brain, but when they were caught, didn't have much choice but to go along with it. Seeing her as a threat to the crew does make a certain amount of sense, considering just how dangerous she can really be.

It's impressive how River was able to forgive him so quickly and actually seems to care about him. I personally have a hard time ever seeing the two of them together, but you've made it to where it's plausible. In a way, it's better that nothing actually happens between them because it proves that Jayne does have a sense of decency somewhere. He's smarter than he appears, even if not in an intellectual sense.

I look forward to seeing what you do with Simon as well. He might be inexperienced, but he's not a weak person. Him and Jayne actually getting along and becoming friends... well, they did seem to have at least a grudging respect for each other before. I wonder if part of that is him refusing to harm Jayne even after what he did. Could be wrong on this, but Jayne could even be thinking that he'd have every right to kill him after his betrayal, at least according to the kind of lifestyle he's lived for so long.

Nevertheless, I understand just why the crew doesn't really trust him. He joined them by turning on his last crew, and the events on Ariel... that takes time to overcome. The Tams forgiving them might help, but the others are likely to have different opinions.

I know this is a long review, but I don't write very many, and I like to say something more than "Great story!" or something along those lines.

Going by your profile, I understand that your take on season 2 is within your own continuity, and your own take on the series. Ideally this would be written as an a/n in the story itself. That said, under such understanding, I’ll refrain from mentioning any canon deviances post-series. So, on that note:

-So, first few paragraphs. Well, technically it’s telling us about Jeyne’s character rather than showing us it (show, don’t tell), but I’m willing to let it slide because a) in theory we already know about Jeyne’s character, and b) the style of writing feels in keeping with the setting. As in, the style of narrative matches the style of dialogue that’s sometimes used by members of the crew (e.g. improper grammar). So it’s a good intro.

-Oh God, is this RiverxJeyne?! 0_0

-“Can it wait a little? We’re not through yet.”

…though that MIGHT be worth the price of admissision. XD

-So, moving on, more props to Mal and Jeyne. What I said above about the style of narrative also applies to Mal’s style of dialogue here, how you capture it well. What’s also captured well is the banter between them, with Mal tolerating Jayne, and Jayne going with the flow basically.

-And, moving on, also capture Book’s character well. It does have déjà vu, admittedly, namely that how he addresses Jayne is perhaps a bit too similar to how he addressed Mal on the issue of Saffron. But it’s good characterization all the same.

-And, again, you capture Simon’s voice well. I can hear it in my head (well, technically I can hear all the characters’ dialogue in my head), it sounding cool, detatched, clinical, etc. So more good work on the characterization front.

-Do a good job with Inara. Doesn’t quite have the same level of punch as the other characters, but that could be due to personal character preference, or the lack of it. But the use of body language is good (e.g. the teacup). Yeah, it may seem minor, but I’ve seen more than a few fics forget how effective body language can be in conveying character or emotion, even in a non-visual medium. So nice job there.

-And then we get Zoe. A.k.a. “I have a shotgun and can break you with my pinkie” Zoe. So yes, more good stuff there.

-There’s not too much for me to say up to the point where the ship lands. Not unless you want me to say “it’s good” over and over (which, maybe you do, but that might get repetitive). Concerning the Jayne-Kaylee scene, feel like I should say something, considering that I’ve commented on the other characters so far, but it’s…fine. Don’t think that’s your fault though – I can usually define Jayne’s relationship with other characters quite well, but I don’t actually recall that many times when he and Kaylee interacted in isolation.

-Anyway, moving onto the point where the ship lands, there’s good description of when the farmers mill around. Fits in with the aesthetic of the ‘Verse, and fits in with its context as well – dirt farmers lucky to see a spaceship, etc.

-It’s perhaps a minor point, but it’s interesting of the notion of the Alliance introducing historical revisionism this early. Or maybe it’s not revisionism at all, but simply their own interpretation of the war. But it’s a nice touch.

-“He never noticed how slender and perfect her toes were before.”

Ah yes, because she always did like to dance. And…toes. You’re looking at River Tam, a.k.a. Summer Glau, and are looking at TOES. 0_0

Actually, that does feel like the right point to interject about the Jayne/River relationship here. And that’s how cordial it is. Within the series, most, if not all of it was adversarial. Even by the BDM it was very frayed. Now I know this is a take on a hypothetical season 2, and character relationships can change, but here, there’s no explanation for the change, or anything to bridge it. The Jayne of season 1 would be swearing left, right and centre about River, yet here, he’s looking at TOES and talking about guitars.

There’s also the question of River herself, as to how lucid she comes off as being when compared to season 1. Granted, that at least has some explanation within the story, but it’s a noticeable change.

-“Why does the notion of a romance between Jayne and River vex me so?”

Gee, I can give you a few reasons…

-Moving on though, River does get some of her old, er, swagger back, so to speak, how she so casually discusses crew secrets (e.g. Kaylee’s ‘sex record’). So that’s a nice touch.

-And….River’s gone crazy with the kiss rambling. Um, yay? As in, poor girl, but hey, River’s cooky and we love her for it?

-There’s more good stuff with Simon and Jayne with the drinking scene. Yeah, their relationship was adversarial as well, but hey, alcohol can solve anything. Feels in keeping with their characters here.

-“He dfirted off, and dreamed of her.”

Um…I’ll pass.

-So, yeah, that was the last line, and the story’s come to its end. Which brings me to the point of looking at the story as a whole. So, on that note…

…well, if I would sum it up in one word, it would be “solid.” That’s pretty much a synonym for “good” in this case, but I feel that “solid” is the better word to use. The reason for this is that the story has one major failing, and that’s plot. It has a scenario (the River-Jayne issue), and it examines that issue, but it doesn’t really have a sense of A-B in terms of plot progression. Serenity drops off cargo, leaves. This isn’t a bad thing per se (and I’ll explain why in a bit), but the lack of plot was still noticeable.

On the other hand, as a character piece, this was very well written, which is why I don’t consider the thin plot to be a detriment. You have a very good grasp on the characters, that, even with liberties being taken, still feel conceptually sound. I’ve given my thoughts throughout the review on characterization so I won’t repeat them here, but like I said, solid job. It’s also why I feel this can work at its length, whereas under most circumstances I’d recommend splitting it up into chapters.

So, all in all, solid job.

Very interesting story and very well written! The dialogue and the job appear to be spot on. On the other hand, Jayne Cobb is presented as a somewhat more complicated individual than was typically portrayed in the show. However, there were occasional glimpses of Cobb's more complex side in the series, which would probably have been explored further if Firefly had had the run it deserved. River appears somewhat different than in the series, too, but her actions are a plot point and are well explained in the story. The Simon and Kaylee situation left me chuckling and really looking forward to the next in the series. Kudos to the author on the excellent job!

I'm in love with your story!

I found the way you structured this unusual but very effective - the central story (Jayne and his day) with small asides involving other characters and their reactions to the story's events. Not a structure I've really seen before, but I like it. Wouldn't work as well for a full-length story, I suppose, but for a oneshot like this it helped carry the point home. I was a bit worried about the Jayne/River suggestion in the description - I second Book and Inara's opinion on the matter - but this didn't... well, whatever I was expecting it wasn't this, but I liked it. It's Jayne/River without Simon needing to go kill somebody, and it definitely made sense for both characters. Also enjoyed Jayne and Simon being chummy at the end, despite/especially with alcohol involved. Jayne is a troll and an unlikely matchmaker to glorious levels.

I liked Jayne. His conversation with Simon at the end (coupled with his behavior throughout) helped flesh him out from the amusing, somewhat daft, gun-slinging jock from the show, and the past events with Kaylee are actually stuff the cast themselves have said was going on beneath the script. I also was impressed with your concise but descriptive Wash backstory. If you're ever up for it, I'd love to read a longer version of that. For such a beloved, open character, his history is possibly the most mysterious of the whole crew, and I liked your version of events - he was involved in the times without really doing damage to anybody, particularly those he'd come to love. It fit him very well.

Again, I cannot get over how gloriously technical you are with your story's world - my favorite bit was the description of Wash's landing and how the artificial gravity played in, but it extends to the economics, politics, and even philosophies involved, too. Mal's and Jayne's little exchange about the effect of the weapons drop struck a chord - helped flesh both characters out, yes, but it also created a picture that echoed out to give an impression of the 'Verse in general, as well.

Thanks for the lovely story! God bless!
Foeseeker

Well written, engrossing story. River and Jayne's dynamic was fascinating and while reading I felt a sense of loss when she slipped back into the confusion. The ending was a bit haunting that way, too. Glad to see this is the first in a series!

Fabulous

This is the first story of yours that I have read and I thought that given your prolog/ writers into that I should at least be part of the 1% who drop a line. Great story, unexpected direction of plot matched with well crafted writing. A pleasure to read. Sad , but realalistic ending. Jane ws writen as having more brains and caring than most authors give the character credit. As time allows, I will read more of your firefly stuff and see if anything else interests me - outside the terminator series I don't know the rest. Thanks for a great night - DA

You added a new depth to the characters and it fits perfectly.

That was adorable and sweet, but yet deep. Nice.