"im not a dog person" hilarious and ye i would like to zacks groin too

awesome

especially i like first sentence - good spite to hypocritical exclaimings of that jerk zack

You forgot to mention what Genesis (And Rosso!) thought about dueling Cloud during Dirge. With Sephiroth's passing, Cloud's the greatest swordsman in the world.

I've read a few of these, well I guess chapters 2-4, and I decided to leave a review. I saw your request for a review on the GA forums, and I'm on Spring Break so I thought I'd give it a shot. I must admit, I had no idea who Rosso was so I looked her up, and the whole Dirge of Cerebus plot. Now I have a better understanding, I think. I must admit, I love Genesis, and you've done a good job with his character so far. He's very subtle in some ways. Some people go overboard and make him very outlandish, but you didn't. I really like Genesis so I was glad to see him portrayed well. I must admit I have a thing for Gen/Seph, so the idea of Gen with Rosso is a bit different, but nothing good writing can't overcome ;) With that being said, I think your writing is good, and the flow is nice, but I'd like to see a bit more description. There's a really good Genesis writer, well I know of two, but one of them writes Genesis/Sephiroth drabbles. Her name is sphinxofthenile, and she's on my favorites list. I think the name of her drabble series is, "Attraction." Anyway, if you give it a read I think you'll see what I mean by more description. Of course, not everyone has to write like that, but I tend to like descriptive writing so that's how I would improve upon it. I liked it though I might come back later today and read some more and comment on individual drabbles. Don't get me wrong, you're doing a good job and these were enjoyable :) I don't really have a thing for Rosso/Gen or I'd be intrigued to read more. Anyway, I hope this helped!

Curious. I think you managed to get Rosso's thought process correct here. Her reactions always seem appropriate : ).

I would like to see more attention to detail here though. It has the potential to be a very emotional piece. So colors, etc., would be nice to see to help with that.

Thanks for continuing to write!

Hm. I'm not sure how I feel about these. The first one was mostly just reciting the poem, so there wasn't much original there. I would think perhaps some more details. Also, Weiss' sibmissive nature strikes me as uncharacteristic. Though, I suppose, we never saw much of him. But I would think someone who led Deep Ground would have probably not even said anything or noticed. And would have brushed off Rosso's comment.

The second one-I just don't see that in Genesis' character actually. Maybe Rosso. I always think of her as having a secret insecurity. But Genesis...I don't know. Seems odd. Maybe I'm just silly. Again with the details though. I'm missing them.

Thanks for writing. Keep working at it!

I enjoyed the sort of scattered musings of Genesis interspersed with the traveling/action, but I found it a bit confusing.

First of all, the 'RossoxGenesis' fanfiction mention I found out of place.

And you failed to really explain the Red Leather girls I guess.

I thought some of your comments were snap-joke funny though. Keep going with this style in this humor segment.

Fascinating. The expansion has really added a lot to it.

Hilarious! I love the style you used for this, it really adds to the humor.

So I have a lot to comment on...

I think the thing that you need to work on most is not expositing. Most of these are just musings, but I think you could do something really powerful with a snapshot of action. I liked Bloodburst the best of your recent updates because of that.

Otherwise, I continue to enjoy the character exploration you undertake. Perhaps consider doing something in more detail about why Rosso has a wing now? I'm curious.

Fantastic, I lol'd IRL. I can totally see Rosso doing this to Genesis.

Great fic, update it soon!

I really like this one. This and the last. I feel like most of your improvement comes through in these two.

This piece in particular feels very tight. My only real concern with it is the fact that you use the word "smirk" three times in close proximity. Other than that, most of the images are succinct and nice. Particularly the part "The scorch marks on teh steel walls of Rosso['s room?-typo?] were evidence of their battles, while the messed up sheets and discarded clothes were the evidence of what followed the fights."

And the last line reminded me of LOVELESS, which I think was a nice twist on the scene.

It's just very drabble-ishly succinct and I adore it.

As for the others, I continue to enjoy the character insight you fill us in with on Rosso. I commend you for it. Continue to think about word choice, though I can see that you are. And the fourth chapter was a nice more explicit take on the sexual relationship. Just don't use "erogenous zone" more than once XD.

Good work.

I feel like the second two LOVELESS quotes that you use reflect Rosso's thoughts, but that the first one is just kind of there because you want him to quote LOVELESS. It would be kind of interesting if that first line also reflected Rosso. Or if you made a connection between it and her thoughts.

Let's see. There is a sentence that I think you might just want to look at again and rewrite for aesthetic reasons:

"Rosso would never admit it but she loved Genesis' voice and the musicality that came with it. Listening to him speak would actually induce a strange calming effect on her nerves, her state of being induced int a peaceful state"-largely because of the repetitiveness.

Also, the thoughts on her mother seem sort of awkward/undeveloped. Perhaps add a couple lines on that to flesh out the idea?

And also word choice.

But I like the first circle of her wanting to hit him. Nice.

The idea, though, was very simple and very concise. And I like the insight you give for Rosso's character. Her development is a sorely over-looked topic. Thanks for writing!

Next prompt from Two Shades that I'd like to see...

Unstable Calm

An alternate idea...

Rickshaw

en./wiki/Rickshaw (just in case you're unfamiliar)

Don't even ask.

I like the patern of the paragraphs here. You start with a short line, long line, short line, long line, long line, short line, long line. It seems very deliberate, and the almost equal number of both fits the contrast between Genesis as a long-winded verbose character and Rosso as a no non-sense to the point individual.

Also, the repetition of black, blood, and born is sort of intriguing. I'm not sure what to make of it beyond Rosso's incoherency, but perhaps it's something that can develop?

The word choice, I think, is something you need to work on the most. This scene feels like a scene that should punch you in the gut, but the words just aren't sharp enough. While I love the short sentences, I feel like the words you use there are sort of flat. Try experimenting with a thesaurus or writing down an image a few different ways before you decide on how you want to say something. That's the best advice I have on that.