A very magical story.

Beautiful. That last chapter gripped my heart and squeezed it with all its might. Thank you for this story.

I'm really enjoying this story. It is refreshingly different to others I have read. The only thing really bugging me is the formatting. The sentences on my phone break up and start a new line all over the place. Reads like poetry and can respect the prose you create but it's a struggle to work out who is saying what sometimes when the lines break and start a new in every single paragraph.

It wasn't perfect, definitely grammar errors and some spelling mistakes. But an enjoyable story none the less. The portrayal of Jareth was pretty good.

Didn't see that coming.

I was hoping she would somehow refer to it's better the devil you know than don't. Hell of her own choosing is pretty close.

First let me congratulate you on a fabulous story. I've been a rabid fan of Steven King, Ann Rice, Mercedes Lackey, and of course Tolkien since I was old enough to know what "good" fiction was; and in my most humble, honest opinion you write every bit as good as them and flatly blow Stephanie Myers out of the water. Your story lines, plots, and characters remind me of a beginning J.K. Rowling; like her you just need a good copy editor to work on the grammar and punctuation rules that are the bane of any worthy imagination. I do hope and pray you'll seriously consider a follow-up story. I'd love to read about Sarah and Jareths' wedding, (how lavish that peacock Goblin King will make it :) ), I'd also love more backstory, or front depending on where/how you look at it, on the Dragon Prince and his Queen and their efforts to rebuild the Dragon kingdom as well as survive Dracolo. Finally of course, I want to know if Sarah finally gains her "power" in underground, that of a mother she's so clearly destined to be. After all what's more powerful than mother's love, and protection? Unless maybe that of an unrealized Elfin that had lived in Above-ground before falling in love with a certain Goblin King? :))

I really like the power dynamic between them. I enjoy stories with older Sarahs, but often, they have somehow avoided all sexual and romantic experience, which bothers me. I enjoy how you deal with her memories and how they both hold some power over the other.

And her speech about not loving a man who is her master is excellent.

Nicely done, in spite of, of, the endless, endless stuttering. But, but I, I find it hard to, to believe that the ring, ring was left there, there on the sink all that time. Didn't the new, new wife want to get rid of it?

Your dialogue stutters more than Porky Pig. You, you...I, I...why, why...what, what...GOD it's annoying. Once in a while is effective. As often as you use it, just poor, amateur writing.

Only just found this story, and I'm liking it very much. Except "She" and "Her" are not capitalized in English, and you have an immensely annoying habit of putting attributions with the preceding dialogue, making it almost impossible to figure out who is saying what. I fear this is giving me a headache trying to sort out, so I don't know how long I'm going to continue. A pity, really, as it's a very good story so far. It's been 12 years ago since you finished this, so you probably won't even see this, but anyway.

Love your story, plot and characterization of Jareth and Sarah. Very few manage to make Sarah to act maturely and yet there still the child in her. You do great job on it. Well done! :D

I really enjoyed that story, thank you. :)

wow, that was great, you should do a sequel. really, i mean it! it was so detailed and perfect in every way, there is no room for improvement, i think you have done it all!

:)

I don't quite understand the hair thing, and it's just a bit creepy to imagine hair as sentient. Unless you intended it as more of a static electricity effect.