That was sweet

Amazing

More

Great story! I really enjoyed it!

Wow! I just loved it. Good job! :)

WOW! LUVED IT!D Totally awesome! Can't beleived she repaid him like though..., it was AWESOME!D

8D

I wish that they weren't related. But...at the same time it helps with stories, now doesn't it? lol

You did a great job.

~Tori

Hot Love it

*~ashley~*

I read about half of this before reviewing. I love the couple and the plot is good, but the way it was written kind of hindered the "good-ness" of the story. You didn't capitalize in the appropriate spots. You didn't put periods where there obvilously needs to be one. There were too many comma splices. Also, you switched up your tenses too many times. It all made the story difficult to read.

So to help you out, I have taken the liberty of editing the story for you to repost. I'm not trying to sound mean, but I'm just saying these things so that you can be the best writer that you can be.

If you would like to have the edited the version of your story then I will email it to you. But, I am sending you a list of ways to say the word "said." It's a great resource sheet that I use a lot to subsitute other words in for "said."

I have been writing on this site for almost 5 years, so it's not like I'm inexperienced and have no clue what I'm talking about. I hope you take my advice, because it won't only make you a better writer, but it will get you more reviews and hopefully a little fan base. Those are always nice. :)

April/Mondler4EvEr