I’m sensing one of those canidates are going to be the bad guy

Are there going to be aliens now that would be a cool idea

Exciting isn't it not?

I read this about ten years ago now. I forgot just how horrific the body horror was in this fic. A work.

I know you've already finished writing this and won't be coming back to fix things up, but I still feel like I should put some feedback here for your future stories. This has been coming along really well, but it seems like it's been dragged on unnecessarily. Word-wise, it's almost twice as long as Book III, and over three times as long as Book I, and that's not too good. You want to try and keep things consistent. The cave scenes in about Chapters 20-30 or something (I don't remember the exact numbers) seemed unnecessary because it was dragged on for so long.

Also, I think it'd be good to have obvious page breaks for time skipping or POV switching. Not doing so can make a chapter very difficult to read. An example of this was Chapter 34, when Stella was talking to Candice about Tremor while he was fighting the wolf. It was rushed, rapid, and disjointed, mainly because of the missing page breaks, but you also skipped too much. It would have probably been more beneficial to include all of the Stella/Candice parts together and the Tremor parts together and have them in two sections in the chapter, or to split them into two completely separate chapters. If you don't know how to put a page break in, you have to upload the chapter as a document, then edit it in the Doc Manager, and where you time skip or change POVs, create a page break between the two paragraphs, or use a double line break (by hitting Enter twice in Word/Doc Manager/whatever you use to write these with). It'll just make things easier to read, especially with as much time skipping and POV changes you had in Chapter 34. But if something like Chapter 34 happens where there are so many time skips/POV changes that only involve two different scenes, put all the parts together or split them into two separate chapters, or even elaborate more on what's going on, so the time skipping/POV changing doesn't get too frantic.

Also, some of the scenes have been slightly unrealistic. Mainly the almost-rape scene. I mean, where did that even come from in Liun? Just because he's being possessed by Malefor doesn't mean he has to have those disgusting desires. I swear, a lot of people make evil characters or possessed characters seem to want to rape someone. It seems kind of cliche, and unless there's a good explanation from where the desire comes from, it seems to just be an excuse to get some suggestive content into a story, and it's not that great of a choice to make. Everything needs to have a purpose, and to be honest, that scene didn't really have a purpose. The issue was glossed over and every mention of it kind of ended after Chapter 57. I know I'm only two extra chapters after it, but I personally don't think it was that great of a decision. The way Ember heals someone also comes across as pretty unrealistic and purposeless. Like I mean come on, a kiss? That'd be pretty damn awkward, especially if you already have a mate, in which Ember does. It may have been interesting for Spyro, which was the case in Book I, but to make it her only way to heal someone, and to have to use it on Candice, just makes everything awkward.

Hope this helps with whatever project you're working on now (Karma and Convexity, I'm guessing). Make sure everything has a purpose, don't drag scenes out, and don't rush the time skipping and POV changes. Remove things if you need to, or elaborate on things. Put a page break or double line break in a time skip or POV change to make it easier to read.

I'm enjoying this story, though. You have a few interesting concepts here.

I could swear I read a machinima quote this chapter

JUST LET TREMOR DIE :C

You are truly a talented writer

I havent read this story in a few years and I must say I'm just as impressed now as I was back then if not more so, you are a truly amazing writer.

Can we please turn this into a movie... I will help with all the script writing n directing

Wow! These are amazing books! I love the series and just can't stop reading. I never thought I could get into a romance novel but u proved me wrong!

These chapters are amazingly detailed and described. I
love your story's and how detailed they are.

YES! BOOK 2 YESSSSSSS!

Holy CRAP!
That's the most intense, mind-blowing, cliff-hanger I have EVER read.

A long time ago there was an egg a legendary egg that was captured from all darkness himself was Chaos the dragon of dark. The egg was a dragon egg a rare golden egg Chaos planned to us the dragon egg to become a weapon. When the egg was in a chamber a young blue dragon with black horns and spikes came in not to be notice by Chaos minions. The blue dragon looked at the egg and feel incredible power from the egg already. The blue dragon heard foots steps coming in the chamber the blue dragon quickly hide when two dark trolls came in. The trolls checked if the egg it was gone the blue dragon carried it to safety from Chaos castle. The blue dragon had to fight through of seeing a lot of trolls the dragon use water element to get through the crowd of trolls. Then the dragon got out in perfect time until Chaos came right in front of the dragon "Taking my egg i see" said Chaos "you cant handle its true power no one can"said the dragon worry about the egg. "Then i shall kill you for it"said Chaos and use his staff and use his powers the blue dragon dodge it in time to cause an explode at the front door the blue dragon hold on to the egg and took flight and got away. "Enjoy while you can good thing i put a cures on that rotten egg"he said to himself. It had ben twenty years until the egg finally hatched from a kingdom the blue dragon was finally waiting this moment with the king himself titan a adult size fire dragon with yellow tusk and large horns. "When does come out will it" said the blue dragon "I don't know" said titan "they usually don't make it and usually do"said titan again when the hatchling finally came out. The dragon had golden scales red spikes but there were no wings the blue dragon and the king "gasp". "What happen!" said titan "i don't know he wont survive from the darkness" said the dragon. Titan turn and just have an idea "maybe we can use something for the hatchling" said titan. The hatchling drank a potion to give him a power a power for speed. Then the hatchling went to sleep "it is your responsibility to take care of him" said titan "i will" said the blue dragon. When titan left the room he said "you should give a name to the hatchling is that alright rose". Then he left the room she thought of a name then she said "Draco yeah draco thats suits you perfect little one".