I use a translator, I hope my comment is understood.
This story was very hard for me. Because I liked it a lot but it didn't end as I would have liked, but it did come with great learning.
Because that's the way it is in life: you find people who help you move forward, but they can't always stay by your side, sometimes they have to leave, but it's also to share that kindness with someone else.
I certainly didn't like Susan's ending to the series, but it's nice to know that there are stories where she grows up as a human being.

Wow. This story hit me like a tone of bricks. I am not a Caspian and Susan shipper, but I found this relationship you portrayed to be very precious. Susan's moments of fear as she remembered Rabadash had me recoiling in anger for what she went through (in your story at least) and her despair as she suffered was so strong. I love that her siblings were there for her, and I really love how Caspian was able to heal her, and Susan was able to help Caspian even though his need was not as great as hers.

Another thing: Aslan's statements at the end had me in tears.

"No, Caspian. She always has and always will be Mine."

"You cannot even begin to comprehend my love for her, dear one."

Wow. Just wow. That was some pretty powerful yet meaningful stuff right there. In fact, every moment with Aslan was great. It reminded me that, no matter who I love in this world or who loves me, no one can comprehend the love my God and Jesus have for me. I have always been theirs first and foremost. I have never belonged to any other.

Thank you for such a rollercoaster ride of a story. This was beautifully done. God Bless

okayy I love this ending ! 3
i cry when i read the endingT_T

yeah... this was a lot better than i expected. bittersweet, sad, and beautiful all at the same time. i usually don't read suspian, because there's just 2 much of it, but this was really good. and what caspian feels and decides sets the stage 4 and is a beautiful compromise between suspian and the canon caspian/ramandu's daughter pairing. keep writing. :)

Amazing 's really touched and I cried while reading te last up the good work!

Oh my gosh, I'M CRYING! I loved the plot and different take of Suspian's romance. You depicted everyone's character flawlessly; I am in awe of how well they were written. The ending was quite satisfactory, even though it shredded my heart! I semi-expected it, but it still hit me in the feels from nowhere. A lot of fics have a plot similar to this one (Susan and Caspian fall in love, she leaves, they never see each other again...) but for some reason this one is different, special. I think it was your ending scene with Caspian and Aslan. Of course, I'd have loved for Susan to be able to stay with Caspian, but the end scene helped soothe the ache their departure left behind. It gave a peace to the turmoil I'm sure everyone who reads this fic feels. Ugh, this was just so beautiful! I was entrapped by this story. You write so well! Cudos to you chica! Now, please excuse me while I sob in a dark corner ;)

Firstly, they are in the middle of a war - and its not just some war, Caspian is trying to win his rightful throne back.

Doesn't fit in the current context. If this has taken place after Caspian's coronation, then it would've been much much better.

Still much to improve.

Sorry for the harsh criticism

You got nothing to worry about with your chapter lengths; in my opinion everything betwenn 1,000 (excluding drabbles etc) to 8,000 is acceptible and well enough to keep track of.
You also got nothing to worry about the rest of your writing, too. Choice of words and grammar are well and pleasing and you narrate at a comfortable pace. I especially like your spin on Caspian and Susan. I generally avoid this pairing because it somehow feels wrong (and is in no way canon (I mean as a real pairing)) but your story gave a realistic and very sweet possibility. Thanks.

The dialogue between Susan and Caspian was cheesy. Way too cheesy. Like, Pizza Hut cheesy.

But the ending with Aslan fixed all of that. Great fic! I like the chapter length, it's a good size, and more importantly I like the plot and the character development.

I like how it's Peace with a capital P. You're funny :P

I think it would make more sense if Rabadash DID rape Susan, otherwise the mental scars wouldn't run quite so deep. Probably. Maybe I've read too many dark fantasy books and my notion of mental sanity is a bit twisted. Ah wells, great character development. And good writing. Nice work.

I'm almost crying, that was so sad and beautiful. Your story was great!

Oh God, I sobbed the whole way through...

I love your story! Especially the bond between Caspian and Susan and the pevensie siblings. Love protective and loving brothers!

I loved it! Amazingly written with a great amount of attention to detail. You did a wonderful job on this story. I don't mind the length of the chapters at all.

Thank you for writting