I think your rendition was both tasteful and erotic; one needn't be CRASS to write a sex scene as it should be. I also think third person is better for this sort of thing. I've read "Dark-spar" fanfiction that is very graphic, but while I wasn't really put off by that (Jasper really has a WILD life pre-Cullens, after all!), that kind of thing would make a mockery out of canon-Edward, Victorian Gentleman that he is.

Well done!

Pretty!

Wow! That was amazing!

"Freezing moth" is about as bad a euphemism as it gets, love.

Of course it is possible to write about sex without naming the body parts 's just that it is a lot more difficult,and most people don't want to take that much trouble.
I was checking the favourite stories of Windchymes and that's how I came to read this one!

Great one-shot :) I really hope you update IGA.

Yayy! I'm the 100th reviewer!

Thanks so much for not using those "words" that I also hate. Pet names for body parts just ruin the sex act for me. This rendering of their wedding night was a welcome change from what I am usually exposed to, and yet, I will still those others... I am so weak... Regards... ymi2bz4t

you portrayed their lovemaking in the true sense..subtly eloquent and very beautiful

Well, I'm in shock...I really am! I never even noticed the lack of "ridiculous euphemisms for reproductive organs or bodily fluids" I was so enthralled! Brilliantly and beautifully done, BB!

I agree with you. You're one classy lady! Thank you.

thanks! it's magical to find something not so literal but so lustful

i'm spanish, it's a little hard to write to an english doctor in literature, but i wanted to say it,

gracias

hot story!loved it.

I believe you made your point.

Sexy, but not base debauchery.

Rather poetic even.

it's true, there were no euphemisms, it was entirely tasteful, you really are obviously a talented writer. But I still couldn't take it entirely seriously - it was too poetic. A little overdone. It seemed dramatic. I was laughing a little, I couldn't help it. '-the phoenix of his masculine, human self resurfacing, untamed, from the ashes of his undead body' It works for poetry. It's just too easy to make it sound a little silly.