I'm enjoying this. Desperately needs a beta - quite a few grammar and spelling errors, but the action and the imagination are working for you.

Heroin - illegal drug

Heroine - female hero

Dear Ruybroeck

Another good chapter; it was romantic and emotional. Poor Kim has had a bad day and Ron is there for her. Great go into Kim’s thought as she considers that she could save the World without Ron, and yet, she needs him. If something goes wrong, he’s there, if she needs a shoulder to cry on, he’s there.

The beach scene was sweet. Is this the ending? You should put “The End” on your fanfics or it gets confusing.

This is what I think of the wholesome standards. Many things are handled well. Some things are questionable; like when Kim is drapped in a towel. But you kept it toned down and its great that Ron is a gentleman and respects Kim. I’m also dubious about Kim’s swimwear in the beach scene, but I’m glad she at least has some sense of modesty.

I hope this review has a good influence on you. God bless.

Data Seeker

Dear Ruybroeck

Another well creative chapter. Kim’s in trouble and Ron shows up to rescue her. It’s very romantic. It was humorous and emotion that Ron didn’t want to hug Kim’s because she is covered with goo that has short-circuited her suit, and that it hurt Kim’s feelings, but she understands his reasons.

The following scenes are amusing. Nice cliffhanger by the way.

The wholesome standards are high. Nothing offensive.

I hope this review has a good influence on you. God bless.

Data Seeker

Dear Ruybroeck

Another well done chapter. Quality is creative as the pervious chapters.

It was amusing when Ron got alerted by Wade that Kim was in trouble and Wade had a ride ready for him.

The fight scenes with Kim and the robot (and traps) were amusing and well crafted.

The wholesome standards are high. Nothing offensive.

I hope this review has a good influence on you. God bless.

Data Seeker

Dear Ruybroeck

Another good chapter. The detail and quality are done well as usual.

Good go into Kim’s thoughts during the practice. I can see Kim going on a mission without Ron since he is doing something important at the moment.

The sneak in was delicate. Good thing, Kim’s suit can fix itself when it got torn. And then its Professor Dementor. He still wants to destroy Kim (which villain wouldn’t?) and take her super suit. The interaction was amusing and in character.

The wholesome standards are high. Nothing offensive.

I hope this review has a good influence on you. God bless.

Data Seeker

Dear Ruybroeck

Good chapter. The quality is good: good humor, emotion, romance, narration and detail.

I like Ron and Kim. Ron is himself; only more mature and hardworking. Kim emotionally depends on Ron. Though she has skill and popularity, she wants someone who cares about her.

Curious; are Ron and Kim married? Or are they dating and just love each other and sometimes look at each other like a husband and a wife?

This is what I think of the wholesome standards thus far.

The language is clean.

There nothing suggestively offensively. Some details make me uncomfortable. But you didn’t cross a line and I am grateful for that.

No extreme violence or any other vile content.

I this review has a good influence on you. God bless.

Data Seeker

Nice little tale of these two and how they care for each other.

Ron came through, calvary style, to help his love when she needed. Kim did her best, and together with Ron, she was able to thwart Dementor's plan.

In the aftermath of the mission, her love comes through in her moments of need for a hug and a little R & R while hanging around Hawaii waiting for their ride home. More joy and love to associate her heart with Ron. From the tone of thought or action between these two, it looks like they have been involved in the next level, or close to it, in their relationship.

Good interaction between these two, banter, action and all flowed well. Some minor spelling and grammar issues, but alright throughout.

CB73

Excellant story so far. minor spelling errors but nice flow with the story.