If Dumbledore or Delores do anything to harm Harry or his unborn child I'll kill them gruesomely then bring them back only to kill them again. I'll rip out their intestines, forcing them to eat it then cut off their limbs before haphazardly sewing them back on without a care if it hurts them or not.

I was shocked I mean I share the name Umbra with one of the characters.

Will you be updated this one to it they get them back ok

Asshole! Your a asshole! You BETTER MAKE A NEW CHAPTER!

...Sorry for all uses of the curse words

usa-chan was here? (i mean the pink bunny costume...from ohshc)

I read bleeding feathers first and it is neck and neck in my favourites for first place!

Will it be continue or not? I want to know what happen to next.

,,

Why is Harry dressed as a girl? I find that he's far too submissive in this. He's shared no thoughts on if he likes this, or if he doesn't, or if he's excited, or if he even LIKES the book he's so into? It seems so far that these OC's have just been overpowering the story.

And you need to make start another line when another person speaks.

'"Good throw, Darren."

"Shouldn't we get help or something?"

"He's alright, it takes a lot to kill a vampire."'

Dialogue from different peple shouldn't be in the same paragraph. But if it's the same person speaking, go ahead.

Work on your punctuation and grammar, also. You've neglected the fact that there are full stops at the end of the sentence, and when you're directing a speech to someone, you use a 'comma' before a name- eg "I love you, Harry." not 'I love you Harry', or 'Harry, I love you' not 'Harry I love you'.

Find the difference between words. 'Since' and 'Sense' are two very different words. In the previous chapter you said 'Weather' instead of 'Whether'. Weather is the weather of the day, such as cold, or hot.

Please expand on all the thoughts. This is such a good story. I feel you need to expand on thoughts and describe why people are doing things like this, how they'll do it, what they'll do, when they'll do it. For example, when Lucius turns his attention to people passing by the window, he notes which ones looked good for AN after-lunch snack. Does he like human blood- what kind? Sweet? Bitter? sour? How does he find attraction to his people-meals? Do they smell good? Do they look fat? Good? How does he lure them away? Will he kill them?

I feel you need to give Lucius and Harry more emotion. How are they feeling about this mating? Especially Harry- he hasn't proved his dislike at the idea of it, or his attraction to it, he doesn't seem depressed or scared. And I feel no man or woman should be making a teenage boy try on lingerie and show them.

And 'magical eye correction'? You need to expand on that.

Also, you made a mistake- 'with A black lingerie in his hands' - it should be 'with black lingerie in his hands'. Also, when he gets out, instead of the lingerie being BLACK, it's suddenly Pink and white.

And it's very- very- quick! He's buying clothes, THEN he's washing dishes? I feel that's just far too quick. And you need to explain thoroughly why Harry's getting new clothes. Sure, he's wearing rags, but there should be a deeper explanation. Why rags? Some people may think 'lol, why is he wearing rags?', you should explain everything. Why rags? Because... eg, the Dursleys refused to clothe him properly, they were Dudley's old clothes, he needs new clothes to meet his mates?

And also- I'm sorry, I don't want ths to be long, I meant to ask this in the first chapter- Why three vampires? Not that I'm against the idea, it's pretty smexilicious, but I think perhaps Lucius should explain 'this isn't a common occurance' or 'this is common, vampires share mates', etc.

And Dumbledore wouldn't give such a short letter to give such important news. Perhaps he would have floo'd (or however you call it) to Harry to explain it all, or taken Harry to Hogwarts immediately, or sent him to Troy's home on purpose. You also need to expand on the relationship between HArry and Troy.

But I love how it's going so far. :)

Lol, what's wrong with you? Harry as a girl? (yes, he has penis, but so what? - he wears dresses on a daily basis and everyone thinks he's a girl, for God's sake) This seriously puts me off. All beauty of slash is gone. Why you write story about romance between males, if you don't want one of them to be male, is beyond me. It would be easier with hetero characters. I started reading because I like vampires in HP and I thought that crossdressing will probably show up in sex scenes (well, some people like that from time to time). But the story turned out to be so WEIRD, that I'm at a loss for words. Has Harry got personality disorder or mental disorder? And why everyone thinks he's cute? Male should be masculine, not feminine. Doing make-up and pretending to have breasts isn't normal for men.

- Arewnien

Hmm, I've read Bleeding Feathers and it doesn't have Umbridge and Fudge kidnapping Harry and four sons - so...no closure at alL? that is horrible. Good thing I already read it or I'd be going looking for closure and not finding it. lol, I liked the re-write better tho ")

Hermione probably is a very kinky, bold girl! ")

Already read Bleeding Feathers but still, I can tell this will be funny just by the Letter, short, sweet, only a Dumbledore would consider it ok to break the news to Harry that way.

It's Arthur, not Author.