rei smirking at her boyfriend hey i am going to have to call my husband by his first name wink

nice good story

i like this it is nice simple and pure.

This is fabulous. I love the description of Rei's ecstasy. Lovely.

This is a very nice story it has all of the right elements for fluff.

Your descriptions are vivid and powerful which make it easy to visualize the events. A few of the passages seemed a little clumsy with your wording. But don’t sweat it, I have to agonize over every word in every sentence and accept advice from my proofreaders to get what I feel is right.

Well done and the best part is that it is safe for kids to read (unlike most of my stories). Keep up the good work!

Lord Saturn.

That was so sweet!

Shinji and Rei dancing, and Rei actually asking him. First in a whisper, as if to account for her own nervousness, and then with more confidence.

You have them slowly dancing, and then kissing!

'She tastes like apples'?

That was just great!

But are you talking green sour apples or red delicious apples?

I prefer the red ones myself.

Though the part I was confused about was Rei leaving him to go back into the apartment for the party. One would have thought that Rei didn't enjoy loud music and would have preferred to stay outside with Shinji.

Still, a good story all around. Keep up the good work!

Write on!

Indeed, very sweet. I liked the long descpriptions which created a nice romantic atmosphere.

And those "and then it was gone" stuff were a nice touch, they made me think: "Huh, so he was dreaming?" but it was a pleasant surprise that he wasn't.

However, I didn't get the spacing-out of the lyrics.

That was sweet. Very nice!

Very nice One-Shot.

pretty good