That was intense. It made me upset, but I still liked it because it was beautifully written. This line really stood out to me "Two years of patience and caring, almost ruined by his mindless jealousy." because Noir is indeed crazily possesive of Florian.

With things ending like this... it makes me believe Florian is much better with torture. Ray should really learn from his amethyst. Anyway... it darn hurts!As ever you're so good.

You made me cry! Thank you. I rarely cry.

I love this story. It's so terribly beautiful. It has all the elements I love: raging jealousy resulting in animalistic half-human behaviour, angst, hurt, and profound ending with issues of trust explored. And the beauty of unconditional love. And whips. Did I mention whips? Whips.

And I like how clear you describe the scenes. At no point was I confused about where or what the characters were doing. This may seem like a small thing, but I have found it to be an important talent in a writer - to be able to seemlessly create this flow for the reader. And I know it is not as easy as it sounds!

And my stomach clenched in emotion many-a-time at your words.

This sentence: 'It wasn't the first time the blond had been whipped, but it was by far the most brutal. Ray was breathing hard from the exertion and Florian was trembling, but that wasn't why it finally stopped.' And the image of Florian left naked and bleeding in the dark. . .*hormone rush*

And the very last scene where Florian asks Ray to carry him. Well, here come the tears again!

In the first story arc of the GC manga, there is a scene where Ray has Florian strung up in chains as he slowly cuts his chest. . .*GAH* IT's one of the select few scenes I fantasize about often. . .

Have you read Jazz by Sakae Maeda and illutrated by Tamotsu Takamure? There is a scene of Seme's jealous rage/punishment rained down on poor Uke due to a similiar 'sighting' of a present shopping excursion. Again, trust was the issue. Oh, my poor broken heart. *Wails!* I love this shit! You'd love that story.

Thanks for sharing your story.

that i have to say was beautifull i really like it

It was very moving. I just wonder if Ray knew how very fragile Florian is and that torturing could have been the last straw where Florian would have never shined again. It is all Azura's fault but he didn't need to add more pain to Florian's heartache & fragile psyche.

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

I don't know where to begin praising this piece, Astra, because there's so much here worthy of note. I have more to say about this than I've had about 40-chapter long stories! You truly are the mistress of the "coup-de-poing" (literally translated as 'dagger thrust', using few words to achieve great effect), and I bow deeply to your skill.

The beginning is so wonderfully dark, and powerful... it's easy to see Ray's point of view, though he has completely jumped to conclusions... however, since that's so in keeping with his character, it works perfectly. For Florian's part, his silent strength is so well done that the reader doesn't want to scream "Speak up for yourself!"- his wisdom in realizing that he's guilty no matter what he says, as long as Ray believes it, is so powerful, and shows how far he's come since his introduction into the manga.

I confess that I felt a bit sick when Ray went to the brothel... if I had been at the helm of this story, I might not have gone that far, and yet it's absolutely perfect in the context of the "jumping too far without looking" theme. It's also realistic, in that, when similar situations occur in real life, there is often permanent tarnishing to the relationship, the individuals within it, or both.

The ending is absolutely stunning as well. Of course, we anticipate Florian's innocence, but the way in which he asserts it, as well as Noir's reaction to it, it so flawlessly painted that it nearly moved me to tears. Florian's final line of dialogue, about strength and trust, echoes so much in my own self that I had to stare at it for a few seconds... (laughs) There is a price to pay, and often, things don't work out as we plan them... much to our pain and detriment. Yet, we go on.

The final line is the perfect ending. So often, we are torn between the need to forgive and the reality of suffering, and I wouldn't want to be in Florian's place for anything. However, he's handled it with such grace that I can't help being jealous... of both him, and his gifted author. :D

Wonderful job, Astra. Thank you so much for sharing.

Best, Guardian

This fic shows a darker side of Ray's character, but it also makes him seem so very human, with his possessiveness and insecurities, capable of letting jealousy cloud his better judgment.

So sad, but so good. I love it so much. (Tearing up over it, too)

You did a wonderful job with this one. I felt like I was there with them. Ray’s actions are so typical and so are Florian’s but I don’t think I would be that nice. I always look forward to reading your work.

OH goodness I love you! Your beautiful GC fanfics are frekkin' unbelievable. Although I knew what was going to happen at the end, for some reason, the reactions are always priceless. I love these littles drabbles. LOVE THEM!

lovelovelovelove,

stupefiedNarutard