There is a good story here. The writing is good and the concept is excellent. There are some noticeable flaws, however.

The dimension traveling Harry Potter is dense. There’s no way around it. One or two critical errors, mistakes, would be understandable and would support the drama needed for a story. Constant, repeated mistakes, however, tends drag the reader out of the story and question whether the protagonist has a functioning brain. Despite the passing of months, he does nothing except sit in on a few Latin lessons, which makes me think he was standing in a corner collecting dust in the meantime. Any success he has is due to dumb luck or the kindness of strangers.

The intent to cast Dumbledore as manipulative but not evil fails. Subjectively Dumbledore might think he’s doing good, but history (and the criminal courts) are filled with people who thought they were right but did objective evil. Placing a child in a known abusive environment, the secrecy spells stripping Alice and Remus of free will, the non-consensual and self-interested legilimency, obliviations, etc.. are all objectively evil.

Remus and Alice are good characters who fall prey to the same stupidity of original Harry (now Evan). Let’s send him to Hogwarts to get educated. And coincidentally expose him to Dumbledore’s controlling magic the same way they were controlled. That’s a double face palm. No one in their right mind would suggest that and it defies belief that three people (Harry, Remus, Alice) who have been subjected to Dumbledore’s abuse would even consider it. One on one tutoring or some other schools are obvious alternates that do not carry the same risk of being mind raped or controlled. Heck, if his placement results are anything to go by he could earn his OWL in a good number of subjects immediately, NEWTs in a few others with only modest effort.

The author says this is the author’s first story. If so, the writer is tremendously talented. Despite my critique there are a lot of positives in this effort and I hope author comes back to it someday.

Sad to see the story has been abandoned, but I greatly enjoyed reading itcongrats to your younger self for getting this far- it’s far more than most of us can claim!

oh i am wrong. sorry

neville is alice sin right? why he not call her mom and they not act like son and mother. i think

I suppose it would limit your story possibilities but it would have made much more sense for harry/evan to get tutors to continue his education, meeting them disguised and in a neutral location. One-on-one education would be superior, and with his experience of hogwarts i would expect evan to realise what a waste of time the pathetic hogwarts offerings would be.

I have very much enjoyed reading this story again. Thank you for writing it.

How nice... you wrote 131,000 words about almost nothing. And it was pretty good. Still slightly disappointed

I was suggested this story as someone's guilty pleasure. I see why they'd phrase it like that :(

This isn't filling me with any hopes of this being an independent or reliable version of Harry. He just keeps getting dumber and dumber and you always put him in a position where somebody lords that over him. He's like a small child trying to figure out why the square cube isn't fitting in the circle..

That's a little dumb even for Harry. I forgot? That plan right there smashes my expectations for the kind of person Harry will be in your story to the ground. Well-intentioned? Empathetic? Caring? Maybe. Having Greg and Goyle levels of stupidity? Without a doubt.

Are those cupcakes sitting in the middle of the hallway? Whatever, I'm hungry. Hur hur hur.

i clicked on this beacuse of the line "NATURALLY THINGS DON'T GO ACCORDING TO PLAN" wasn't disappointed

I think it's great, this premise.
Astronomy at its finest.

Wow... Just wow! I love this story so much. I might be very late for it but can u pls continue the story. This is just the best!

I just went to find the adopted story and it isn’t a continuation of this one, it is a different versionand it has been abandoned. How disappointing. Your story was great though!

I really like this story! I’m really glad someone decided to adopt it. I like how Harry interacts with Evan even though the story isn’t centric around that relationship. I would really like to see how Evan does at Hogwarts. Thank you for writing this.