OMG so good

best story ever since i read this other story can;t remeber what it was

Awesome job on the fic...!

Awesome...!

Hi, I just wanted to say I love your stories! I think they're my favorite on Fanfiction. You write really well

Please use correct dialogue notation.. this is one of my pet peeves.. I being a grammar freak. Look it up if you care enough to use correct grammar. But wait, I'm just too nice.. lol..

"It (I?) didn't graffiti it, I was simply giving it more colour, it's such a boring monument, all earth colours" is not correct.

"It didn't graffiti it, I was simply giving it more colour, it's such a boring monument, all earth colours," is correct. ~ The comma can be substituted with a period, question mark, or exclamation mark.

Since the story's already complete, just keep this in mind for future stories..

~ Sandi

I generally like this story. You make Sakura just a tad bit too OC sometimes, but that is understandable. Your imagery is lacking and sometimes your story seems to drag. In some cases less is indeed more and more is less; especially when speaking in terms of quality. The manner in which you write also needs some enrichment for it almost but not quite paints a picture for the reader.

The plot is quite interesting, and I like that Sakura has her own strength instead of being very much a whiny "crybaby".

However it really irks me how you changed Sakura's age. As you are aware Sakura is 12 when she graduates the academy and is the oldest genin in team 7, being a few months older than Naruto and Sasuke. By the time the chuunin exam rolls in, Sakura and the group in the series are about 13, her being ten only further creates confusion. It also is very disturbing as various characters are oggling a very young girl, giving it all a pedophiliac undertone. The Sakura Sasuke relationship also becomes hard pressed as if Sasuke is 18 and in a relationship with Sakura he would technically be committing child molestation according to various laws (national and international taken into account). Generally it throws off the timeline for me and makes it difficult to place things... It also makes things terribly OC in a story that appears to need being mostly true to the original series.

why are some of the parts all in bold?

Kawii, sorta on plot, but not. Job well done!

took me ages to bloody finish this chapter ! Great chapter ! :D

mostly cause i was distracted sometimes...then if i wasnt distracted it would have taken less hours :D

This story was so awsome but so sad!

this is really good.

good job_

love it

hez GONE!

at least he didnt act like he had a pole up his $$ like in the real thing.

gr8 story!

i loved this story it is very well written and such long chapter in a short time. i sort of read most of the sequel before i read this so the story makes a little more sence now