Great chapter. Violet is definitely one tough psycho you know what. I can only imagine how she acts next time. Eagerly awaiting the next chapter.

Nice chapter. Violet now has a bounty on her head. She's overconfident, which may be her downfall. If Krystal knew it's a guarantee she'd put up a LOT of resistance. Nice work so far.

Krystal's definitely putting up a lot of effort to stick with Aver. Then again if I were Krystal I'd feel pretty bad that I couldn't provide the love of my life with a sense of security and comfort. That's where Dowell exceeds Krystal.

Violet, on the other hand, is keeping me pinned to my screen. She wants him and has to go through 2 vixen first. Just a matter of time till that does happen.

Nice chapter and already looking forward to Violet's crazed phantasy.

Wow this chapter is just amazing.

Ok you definitely made it known that Fox DID force Krystal off the team for protection. He definitely regrets it and is learning from that mistake by not being like that with Fara.

I have to say Violet is QUITE a character. Best part of the chapter by FAR. She's crazy and deadly. She could have killed Aver easily but instead kept him around for a while, probably having big plans later on. Being in love by 3 women makes Aver quite a lucky man...if only one of them wasn't psycho lol.

Now we know Aver has fear. Fear does strange things. Fox handled fear by giving up his love. Now we get to see how Aver handles this.

Excellent chapter. That shift you did to Dowell's Point of View really helped with her emotional distress. I'll be honest prior to this chapter I thought she wanted to get Aver back just because she COULD. But now I see that, in light of your use of flashback, she made a mistake and it wasn't only Aver that suffered because of it. She didn't truly go all out and cheat on him in the worst possible way but it was enough to warrant a heartbreak.

For her to confess her feeling towards Aver showed me she, like you mentioned in the story, blamed only herself. Holding out for 3 months one could start to think that their partner didn't truly trust or love them as much as you want to believe. Dowell was not an expert on Cerinian culture and only had to believe in Aver's word but could you blame her? 3 months is an incredibly long time to wait, especially when both parties feel it's a relationship worth keeping. People have needs. Next to food and water, love is as much of a need as anything. She couldn't stand it anymore and needed to fill her urges. I guess that one saying (and song) is true - you don't know what you got till it's gone.

The instant you shown Aver kissing Dowell (after Dowell's breakdown) shows that not only does he still have feelings (strong ones that is) towards her but that Aver has to put his own promise to the test when he confesses to Krystal. This time it ended well but if he keeps this up I can probably predict some tension later on between Aver and Krystal (or even Krystal and Dowell!)

Once again really enjoyed the perspective change and flashback as well as the out-pour of long held in emotions.

Their bond strengthened yet again. Outright trust for one another definitely makes a relationship better, but on the other hand what happens when that trust gets shattered?

Dowell is certainly going to test Aver's end of his faithfulness. Sure she wants to be "friends" but her being around him can only make things complex.

I also like how you portray Krystal as being cool tempered instead of outright detesting of every single female that walks up to Aver. I mean it'd be hard to believe if she didn't feel worried or even slightly jealous of Dowell but the way Krystal acts indicates that Aver filled the void Fox left in her heart and she won't become the thing that (supposedly) ruined her and Fox's relationship (over-protection). That doesn't mean she'd simply stay put and do nothing if she started feeling him up.

I adore Sauria. At the same time I don't like it being a "I MUST have it in a Krystal story" thing. In this instance, I love the reasoning behind using it. Corrupt soldiers wanting to loot for their own gains surprised me.

But that wasn't the best part (at least to me). Showing Aver losing his control by invading the minds of those soldiers and him having his inner turmoil show was my favorite. I adore inner conflict and, as much as this shows some sort of weakness for Aver, reiterates the fact that he is not perfect. However accepting one another, regardless of flaws, is the key to powerful relationships. The willingness for Krystal to stick by his side, even after breaking one of Cerinian's rules of telepathy abuse, shows me her desire to stick with him no matter what would come up in the future.

But then we have Dowell come into the picture yet again and gets Aver to agree to eat lunch with her. I've already seen you depict Krystal's faithfulness to Aver, but now I can only wonder if Aver will stay faithful to Krystal. Great chapter.

Ok really sorry for not reviewing each chapter prior to this but I'll review each chapter after this for sure.

I would not call you a "Fox hater." If anything I'd call you pretty dang creative. It's not written anywhere that Fox has to spend the rest of his life with Krystal or even continue a relationship with her. That why I believe Star Fox has a lot of room for fiction. The games are so widely spaced in between (time wise) that all you're given is, for the most part, a starting and ending point. All that time in between is void with some "understood" events. That's where you came in and shown us your ideas.

Fox going with Fara definitely got me to believe Krystal would be willing to accelerate her relationship with Aver, especially after the double date. He made no indication he would want to go back which definitely surprised me.

Your character, Aver, is quite interesting. He's proud of his heritage, proud to the point where he risks indecent exposure charges lol. Not only that but you gave him powers. It's believable, especially when it seems, at first, hard to fathom mind readers, let alone Occult wielder. I also like how you didn't make him the perfect soldier in terms of physique. He's tough for sure, but not the "I can outlift, outrun, outanything anyone." He also has flaws we start to see and it goes by the name of "Dowell." Would he really risk his current relationship with Krystal (idk but I can't wait to find out!). Normally people would be hard nosed, asking how anyone can give up Krystal. But you have Aver keep bringing up Dowell. This is definitely something a lot of people would be hard pressed to bring up but it shows that Krystal, even though I respect her a ton, IS NOT IRRESISTIBLE TO EVERYONE. She may be beautiful and can turn heads at a moments notice but to say that no one can match (or even outmatch) her beauty if just unrealistic, even if she's of the same vulpine race as Aver.

Bringing Dowell into the mix definitely spiced things up. Her persistence and Krystal's mentality, from a quote of your story "This is worth protecting," definitely makes my mind race as to how far Dowell is willing to go...and how far Krystal will be pushed.

I won't comment on the sexual content much but you definitely don't have things going overboard. In fact it adds to the story instead of being a big distraction.

On a final note I'm astounded that this fic is a little over 7 years in the making and you're still going. I'm deeply impressed by your commitment as it lets me know that, if I happen to get stuck in my own stories, I shouldn't give up.

Hello there Quentix.

I apologize for slacking in my duties toward your still kicking story. I neglected to read chapters 11 and 12 so I decided to read 13 instead.

Whether this decision was wise or foolish...only time will tell.

So far so good...I can see that Beatrice has given up on trying to take Aver back, or has she? And that Krystal is being stubborn despite of the fact that Beatrice genuinely wishes to befriend her.

Interesting. Wonder how this will turn out.

First mistake:

-"Simple reason kiddo, the monkey may be a jest...but his cash is good." she eased up as she saw Raven moving up behind him, no matter how could he was...being unable to hear Raven would be his downfall.-

No matter how could? Could? Don't you mean to put "good"?

Second mistake:

-Raven watched the veteran Star fox team members and grinned, he was dealing with the best marksmen, so for they seemed to be all talk. He scoffed at the mention of it; reputations were all talk in his mind.-

So for? For? Don't you mean "far"?

-As the massive berserker launcher that he wielded was perfectly suited towards his ability in battle-

Fragment sentence? It doesn't seem to make much sense.

Third mistake:

-As he aimed the next shot from his heavy Vulcan cannon, the burst clearing off the huge burst of snow with ease.-

Same mistake, different sentence. Even the same first word.

Fourth mistake:

-This before leaping to something a wedge in the Cliffside and putting the great cannon on his back, and then persisting in his powered leaps up the side of the cliff while under fire from the Cornerians.-

Another similar sentence...but at least it didn't start with the same word this time.

A FIFTH MISTAKE AND SIXTH!:

-It seemed to be an obssession, she started to grind into him and pant while running the dagger deeper into his hand and bit softly on his lips.-

You misspelled obsession. And you messed up the flow of the sentence. For example: He was running and stop for a drink. Get it? She started to grind into him and pant while running the dagger deeper into his hand and "biting" softly on his lips.

Oh, curse my soul and mind! A seventh mistake!:

-That blood was Aver's, she was why he held his neck?-

Missing a word or two maybe? It doesn't make much sense.

-Exciting? I hope so? I wanted to surprise my readers, I wanted to give you something for waiting so long.

So here it was, the big surprise I held back, now which will prevail amongst these three types of 'love': The fallen love, the passionate love, or the insane love? You decide for yourselves.-

Hm...?

While I am a sophisticated individual with high standards and much class, I can't help but say that the former and the latter interest me more so than the middle. Fallen love and Insane love piques my interest far more than this so called passionate love, which most teens substitute in place for lust.

Actually...if you must make me choose between the two, fallen and insane, I would have to lean more towards the fallen love.

Meh...I'm naturally a bitter individual so its no surprise to me that I would go for the fallen love.

Good day Quentix!

Until next time~

Best Wishes,

Chris

I found one mistake...and that was near the end.

YES finally a mistake.

"this couldn't be as desperate as it looked right? she"

You forgot to capitalize she after the question mark.

Well I do hope the next chapter comes quickly...for the tension is only just now beginning.

"Good reviews are great but critical reviews are better" - personal quote - KrzyKrn.

Best Wishes,

Krys

Ah ha... Well the dominant side of women are what turns some people on. And I suppose Krystal's dominance during their intercourse only strengthened Aver's lust and/or love for her. Though I must say you seemed to have a lot of detail into that content. The only other story that I have read that had "good" descriptive "sexual" writing was TrailerFlip's "Fox and Krystal's Night Out"

Well this chapter seemed as a bit of a filler and a foreshadowing of Beatrice's competition over Aver's...er? Shaft? Foxhood? Love?

I would not know...it seems that they both want Aver for just his body...and then again it does say that Krystal does have "true" feelings for Aver and its not just some feral and/or instinctive feeling that she uses to pleasure herself.

Well...finally you got this chapter up.

I was wondering when you'd put up another chapter.

Nice job.

Best Wishes,

Krys

Well good chapter...although the lil scene in the middle just blew my mind away.

But I was prepared, I have read plenty of crappy sex stories by crappy teenage writers to know how to "appreciate" "mature" content without exactly being some kind of freak.

The content was okay, it definitely showed both of their thoughts, although more so Krystal than it was Aver.

It was sweet and slow and tender in the beginning but then the whole feral instincts kinda kicked in it seemed, but you didn't rush it, no you took it nice and slow. Pretty good description if I might say so myself. I have read only two stories with "good" and "acceptable" "mature" content: This story and TrailerFlip's "Fox and Krystal's Night Out" story.

Best Wishes,

Krys

UGH~! So hard to think straight...why'd you put a cliff hanger der? OMG, well anyways great chapter again. I loved the whole suspense thingy and the fact that FINALLY there is some sort of a "obstacle" in the growing relationship between Aver and Krystal.

Well as much as I'd like them to "get" together (mate, wutever) maybe I should take the abstinence route? o.0

Well maybe they should get together and it'll change their lifes.

Maybe Krystal wants to take it nice and slow and refuses the "generous" offer, kindly.

Or maybe they get to it and like 5 minutes into it Dowell comes busting in through the door...awkward light comedy, I guess.

You choose your pick Quentix, you haven't made a wrong choice so far...let the force guide you?

P.S. I need a review for my story too, that is if you're not too busy writing your other 10 stories...lol)

Best Wishes(as always),

KrzyKrn

Oh ya one other thing to add on...

You have minor minor grammatical errors nothing that you need to bash your head over with but just pointing that out...its nothing serious at all. And yes I would love to see the relationship blossom and for Krystal to finally open up to Aver later in the story, maybe they will mate? Maybe something tragic happens to one of them? Maybe one of Aver's past rivals show up or something and kidnaps Krystal? I dunno just throwing out ideas here...doesn't mean you HAVE to use them.

Hmm pretty good... I like how you are slowly rolling into a serious relationship with Aver and Krystal... Sorry bout eariler comments I really dunno what came ova me but ya it was my childish side that urged me to type that message. Gald you didn't take MY advice lol

Well lovin the story so far... uh some input? Hm I duno make some humor and fun into it, not like you didn't but you know some more humor or flirting around?

And uh Aver saving Krystal from a certain doom or the other way around during the mission or later on in the story.

Yup that is all I can think of at the moment