This is really great. )

"Yami sheeted himself.." Sheathed, not sheeted. It helps to remember it as "sheathing a sword" (which is where the euphemism comes from).

for some reason i juss knew that there was gonna b a sequel 4 this story xD... i wanted Yugi 2 have like some sort of hidden power that would awaken buh i guess it would b nice 2 have Yami defend him... i was also hopin that Yugi would b like the son of God n that he doesnt knoe until he found the hidden power buh thas juss my imagination running wild XD... i was wondering where Anzu went buh i rather her not b in it XD... hopefully shes not in the sequel xP and lastly i liked how the endin had 2 do w/ Marik n Bakura, buh i had a feelin they were gonna b, more evil... o.O... BUH anywayz i LOVE this story! it was soooo awesome! its been a while since i found i story i liked, n wrote a review this long buh this was juss AMAZING! cant w8 2 read the sequel!

~*pika*~

DUN DUN DUUUNNN heard of star wars? haha this is perfect

could u make another story to follow this one think others will agree with me bye the way GREAT STORY

nice story love it, some errors though.

wow

- Lovely story, dearest.

I'm excited to go maul anything else of yours that I can find :3 Expect me to come molest your stories. I like how everything was predictable enough without being boring (something that's VERY hard to do) and ESPECIALLY how you avoided the cliches ;3

-hungry for more, Naomie

good story! i enjoyed it! and no i don't fear you, your just a creative author. hope to read some more of your stories! untill next time!

I've never actually read a Yu-Gi-Oh fanfic till this one and I am hooked. This is one of the best written stories I have come across with the best plot. Not to mention the best lemon too. Most people typically suck at those. I'm glad I found this little gem. I've been reading it all day, and will continue till I finish Hold On. Then I'm moving on to the sequel.

That was good. I think I'll read the sequal now.

So…the long awaited review, and advice! What to say? Overall, this is a very solid story, although there are a few things I will have to pick at later, but let’s start with the good!

As always, you have a real knack for setting the yugioh characters within a different setting. This works well as an AU fic because, like with Dance, you build up a realistic world and set the characters in it. They aren’t just gimmicks. You also did well with the main characters. Yami is fleshed out and developed well. Yugi is likewise. Kumiko is adorable, of course, and that made it easy for her to push the plot along by getting kidnapped almost as much as Mokuba did in the actual series! XD

The three angels that you introduced at the end had distinct characters, but I don’t feel like we had enough time to get to know them. Of course, this wasn’t designed to be an uber-long story, so that probably isn’t possible. Again, you love your Anzu-bashing don’t you? What, did she kill your entire family or something? XD

The plot is also good. I like how the supernatural themes are integrated into the main plotline, but you leave enough room for more mundane themes as well, notably the Yami/Yugi pairing, which you handled beautifully. It was a little fast, and Yami seems to accept being gay within the space of a couple of days, which was a bit unrealistic, but this may again be due to it not being the longest of stories. Still, once the relationship is there it is believable and well-written.

It was obvious from the prologue that it would be a supernatural story, what with the giant king of the demons and everything, but I like how the supernatural elements were gradually introduced into Yami’s life. Contrary to what you were thinking, Yugi being what he was came as a complete surpise to me.

So, for the most part, a thumbs up to the characters and plot line. Now, unfortunately, for the bad, and the things I didn’t like so much.

The battle scenes were good. However, they were a little bit bland to read. I know from experience how difficult it is to write a good battle scene, they never seem quite as cool on the page as they seemed in your head. Still, they flowed well and I never lost track of the action, so I have to give you points for that.

The character of Yoru was extremely one-dimensional. He seemed to only exist to make Yami’s life a living hell. I know that was literally the reason for his existence, but even so it seems forced. From the prologue, where he literally murders his wife in cold blood while laughing about it, there was nothing that suggested that he was anything more than a cardboard cutout. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against thoroughly evil characters, and I know that there was a justified reason why he was like that, but it seems to me that you could at least have reworked his thought processes. I doubt that anyone can murder someone in a rage and then feel nothing afterwards. All it would take for me to be able to understand the character is a glimmer of humanity, but there was none.

The lemon scene. You already know how I feel about lemon, but I have to say it was well written. As I’ve said before, you’re one of the few people I know who can write a really good lemon. It’s a good thing that there was only one though. I’ve seen stories that try to pile on way too much lemon and lime until the story literally collapses into a giant pool of citrus flavoured death.

So, to sum up, this is an excellent story, and worthy of praise. You won’t have too much trouble converting it to an original fic. You will need to change certain terms that would only be understood by an anime-watching audience, such as ‘sweat-drop’, but other than that it should work fine. With the exception of Yoru I felt like all of your characters were well written and well thought out, even Anzu really, and she only exists in your fic to be beaten to death with clubs! XD

that was a really good story. i'm totally in love with the idea of Yuugi being an angel (as if he isn't one already) and Yami having dark demonic powers. it just suited them so well. the only problem that i had was that while most of your stury was written in past tense, it would sometimes change to present tense so it'd looked something like:

"Yuugi groped blindly as Yami continues his relentless torture"

or something (i can't be bothered going back and looking word for word)

obviously, 'continues' should be changed to 'continued' but hey, the story's goo so who the hell really gives a damn?

i would've liked more information on Yuugi's relationship with Ryou, Malik, Joey and Seto, like, how did they meet? In heaven or in the mortal life? which leads into the question of why Yuugi and gang became angels.

i'll be really happy if you write a sequel to this. And Kumiko was soo cute!Puppy-eyes should be banned! i always fall for them!

I like your story line, it's origanal. I have a suggestion for Aknunkanon's name, Casimir (I used it in one of my fics for an abusive father, who was also a demonic king) it's a Slavic name that means 'destroys peace'. Anyway hope that it helps.

I love your stories! If I ever reviewed to Don't Let Go I would've been Protecter Of The Pharaoh! You're an awesome writter! Please write more stories!