I have to say it, that if relationships aren't your strong point, it doesn't matter, because it isn't ShikaTema's either. xD I seriously think it's really hard to write their romance, because their personalities are not what you would call exactly romance-magnets. But still, you managed to do it, in a slow pace, keeping in character, and it became completely believable. I love how you say she would stick around to see what kind of man that boy would became. It's really good, because she might be just three years older, but she's much more mature, and most people forget that. I liked Asuma talking to her too. To me it looked sort of like they respected each other because they both wanted the same thing, that was for Shikamaru to be successful, and it was just cute. And gods! The fights! You can write fights. And near-death experiences. And they don't sound cheesy. I just have to say it, I really, really liked this story. Congrats!

It was quite long, but I didn't mind it at all. The story was rich and it kept me reading. I would have loved to see a second part to this. Perhaps something on the lines of showing the conclusion of her waiting. In any case, good job! You definitely made something very much entertaining.

I really like your fanfic! It was sort of like angst. I think it was very well written. Kepp up your writing. You have a lot of potential.

Peace out,

Sun-diva

This is what Shikamaru is supposed to be written like, and Temari too. I really liked the ending, how she went from cursing promises to being glad for them.

My initial reaction to this story was "aw, another Temari and Shikamaru are just friends fanfic..."

However, as I got further and further, it was...addicting. The characters you protrayed were accurate, if not deepened. The storyline was sweet, and profoundly sad, I almost cried when Shikamaru received the Kunai in the neck. While you accuse the relationships of this story to be weak, I think if you'd laid it on any heavier, it'd be sort of absurd. The statement that 'Dead bodies don't accomplish missions' became sort of a haunting theme I found was appropiate.

All in all, I really enjoyed this story, it was stirring in a way.

Oh wow, this was really good. I was so afraid you were gonna kill Shikamaru, I was almost in tears. Oh and for the record, I envy your battle writing abliltiy. You make it look so easy! Yay for ShikamaruxTemari goodness! Awesome job!

Very good, well written, in character, good length, A

Like! Yay Shikamaru!

I like it. The themes were carried beautifully and your writing was superb. Good work.

I really love this story! You capture their characters so well!

Thanks! _

HEE. I think you already know how I feel about this story, but I will say it again.

PURE. LOVE. :D

I thought you did a fabulous job with this so-called "experiment," because the writing is beautiful, the relationships you portrayed are FANTASTIC, and of course you know how much I'm a sucker for whump and angst. And I had a very tearful reaction to 328 as well, but I'm really glad you were able to incorporate it so well (even if I was like, NUU! Asuma-sensei! *cry*). Wonderful job, hon. I'm even more proud of you finishing off this "miracle fic" even after I didn't help contribute to gutterbrainz at all, hee. X3

Do you mind if I put it up over at the Futon? I usually wouldn't ask your permission every time, but this IS up under another pen name. ;3 I can't tell you how much I adore this piece, m'dear. Keep up the awesome work, and I look forward to more Naruto out of you! (And where is the Dean tear porn? D:)

Aww. I read the first half on the live journal communtiy and was very happy to find there was more. I'm very glad he didn't die.