This is a really interesting story, I love the way you interpret the characters and weave the plot.

Also, I recognise the book in chapter 1! The Little Princess, isn't it?

wow. that was a wonderful story, portraying all the sohmas so wonderfully.

you write so eloquently! i luved it so much. I read all 14 chapters in one sitting and now i'm sore... :P oh well...

wah...the amount of raw human emotion in fruits basket is kind of overwhelming at times, right? it's just so indescribable and incredibly sad...but you keep coming back for more...it's like an addiction. lol.

sorry for rambling on and on!

.:add story to my fav story list:.

so keep on writing awesome fics, okay? -

ja ne!

mimi-chan

xxfirebubblesxx

I love the reference to Kyo as an "it" instead of a person, although it fits I'm not quite sure that this is the way that Yuki feels. I like the theory about life and how one must save ones self. Poor Yuki, the way you write leads me to feel empathy for him, he's like an outsider in his own body. Fabulous diction and imagery, your fics always seem to be so well polished that it's hard to find complaints. Not sure who Orpheus is but I love the Haru/Yuki relationship you've pointed out here. Perhaps increase the tension in the Akito-Yuki scene. You put "Ans with any morning" instead of "As with any morning". Your lines are so poetic, I love them. Aww, Yuki has no soul? That hurts but I understand what you mean about someone to fill it up, I suppose that's another way of saying what Tohru did.

Hours Later:

Wow you have Yuki sounding like a robot, and some of the phrasing is a bit off, meaning you have awkward sentences. It's hard to see how distanced Yuki is, I always imagined him feeling closer but behind glass still; this is an approach to his character that I'm unfamiliar with but is very fitting for him. *hugs* my poor Yun-Yun is all alone in this dark world, slightly scary. Shakespeare actually fits Yuki, so nice choice on quotes, his life is sort of like a Shakespearian tragedy. Separate lines when you change characters. I adore your figurative language, in fact I crave it. Aww, that's pretty sad but I'm happy that he changed

Magnificent fic, I loved it

~Myst

Great start, that was a poetic metaphor about the "last night", I'd expect that from our novelist. I like the dynamics between the characters especially the sweet Shigure-Kureno "friendship". I like all the references you make to the holiday and your word choice is just spectacular.

One Year Earlier:

In this part I liked the friction that was involved and the description of Yuki fits. It's pretty fun to read Shigure dangling the party idea and Akito's response is that he's bothered about Yuki. Nice metaphors and interactions, however, the scene mirrors the manga slightly too much.

I love this fic

~Myst

I think it should start with a higher sense of tension or apprehension but you have great characterization, as usual. The ideas you introduce in these fics are very plausible. I love the irony in the phrase "irritated in peace" XD. I'm confused to why Kyo is there, still I love how Ritsu sees the world. You have good characterization on Ritsu after the spill but wouldn't he offer to pay for it, in some over-dramatic manner. I love the insanity of Ritsu's immediate family, and once more I love Shigure's bluntness.

Eleven Years Earlier:

Rit-chan is so cute here and I like the cultural accuracy statements you put when it comes to women. The sentence lengths are perfect. I can see Akito doing this, I think it's your imagery and descriptions that make this so, astounding work. I can imagine that this is the way that Ritsu became more onto the constant apologizing to everyone, also Ritsu is such a great "servant"

Amazing Work

~Myst

Note: Your Ritsu was great, when I was thirteen or fourteen Ritsu was the character which suited me most.

Chapter Eleven:

Good start, perhaps you should be a little more bitter or include more angst if you're hoping to do Rin. It makes me sad how you refer to family and parents *hugs Rin*. I'd like to have seen more description in the dynamics between the Sohma's, and especially between Haru and Rin. I know that you already explained your reasoning but I would like to have seen more. The way you put Rin's outlook on the world and her stubbornness is fabulous. I love te idea about the dress coat, perhaps to balance this you could explain what clothes they are wearing.

Once more you include nice expressions and emotions and Haru's cuteness is adorable. "They're eye watering" sounds like a weird phrase to me, I understand what you mean but it sounds somewhat awkward.

One Year Earlier:

It's so sad how she can't go home T_T. I like the friendship between Hiro and Rin but perhaps describe them during their conversation. There were also some run-on sentences, which may sound hypercritical because there are probably hundreds in my reviews. I love the fact that Rin doesn't realize she's teaching Hiro this, pretty funny. Comparing her to the idea of a stepchild is great and the ending is gut-wrenching, why does she blame herself?

Nice work

~Myst

In my opinion the characterization in this chapter needs a little work, perhaps provide more passion, cuteness or mournfulness in the tone since it seems slightly bland. It's hard to imagine both Kureno and Yuki smiling, perhaps describe the smiles more. Momiji is so cute but the characterization is slightly lacking. I'm unsure whether Rin would be as conversational as you're making her, but then it's your view.

I love Ha'ri's concerns, the Hatori-Momiji/father-son relationship is one of my favorites. I actually know all the words to that song and many of the other "Sound of Music" songs. Haru is to cute and adorable.

Nine Years Earlier:

You say always when isn't it her first dance, since they dance when their years dawn and end. Such deep internal thoughts, bittersweet, adorable and very memorable. I fell so sorry for the way Akito tortured Momiji *hugs the bunny*. I'm not sure what an Ariadne is, unless it's some Greek god, it would be clearer if you explained this.

*stomach grumbles* I want Aya's tea more. I'd like to see more description of Aya's room but you're right it does sound exciting. The scene is so sweet with cute relationships and sad emotions and I love the argument between Ayame and Hatori concerning the occupation of a lawyer.

Nice ending, a lot of these thoughts mirrored my own and it was nice to see

~Myst

Aww! Such a great start? Are you implying that Kazuma's at the banquet? I really sympathize with Kyo and since I got turned off by the sound of Jerry Jewels voice I feel happy that someone got me to like him. Beautiful internal characterization. Maybe you should describe the weather and environment a little more. Parts of the fic were slightly unclear and I had to reread the beginning of the fic to figure out just what was happening. The ideas are really cute but isn't he aiming just a little too high _-

You have great balane of emotions and your use of symbolism and metaphors is glamorous. Great use of emotions and character dynamics, Haru is so cute. Some of the things you have Rin say in this part however are somewhat unbelievable, or maybe that's just the way I see her. "flavor it with love" sounds slightly perverse, as well as "she honestly starts leaking". Honestly, I admire the amount of thought and time you put into these chapters, hard work pays off. The star thing was adorable

Ten Years Earlier:

Nice descriptions, but didn't it say at the end that Kyo only went twice to the main house. I love the bittersweet interaction with his mother. I love Kyo's mother's comeback about the monster. It's funny how "well" Shigure can lie in this chapter and I love the depth, watch out for spelling and grammar issues. I'm surprised that Kyo can actually stand to be around Shigure after this scene. I love this chapter so much and not because I'm a Kyo fan but because I feel empathy and see how delicate he is.

Great Work

~Myst

You really have nice ideas but watch the amount of times you use certain words because it can be repetitive, since I jotted down this review over eight hours ago I'm unsure to what I'm referring exactly. Once again I love how well you describe the atmosphere and although I have a different idea of Kureno's character, I enjoy reading yours.

You have real talent when it comes to capturing the inner being and once again utilize some nice metaphors. In some parts there are some weird phrasing. I also feel you have Kureno sound cold T_T, so sad. I love how you show Kagura's nice side, other people don't do this, throwing Kagura around as a character who is purely annoying.

Fourteen Years Earlier:

In this part I think you have Shigure's personality pinned wrong but that is only my perspective. In this you appear to have the mentality too young and would Shigure make the beauty remark to another in front of Akito? Akki-chan is such a cute nickname -. I love the jokes but would Shigure be this rude in front of Akito? It just doesn't click in my thinking. "Imagination lets you be an insider anywhere, Use it." [This is one of my favorite lines I've read lately, _] Reading this makes me feel sad for their future relationship, still nice chapter

~Myst

I adore the beginning of this chapter, Kisa's shyness is so cute ad it's great to see the other side to what Hiro saw. Great characterization. Wow, she does look like Yuki a little bit or maybe I'm sleep deprived since I'm staying up to watch "Make me a Supermodel". The conversations are fabulous due to their intimacy and you have me interested in minor details such as what her mother is wearing and doing. You really grabbed and maintained my interest in this fic, quite admirable. And once again I adore Haru.

~Myst

Again me with another couple of reviews ~ Myst

I love these thoughts that you've given Kagura and how you show her other side at the end, what I'd like to see however is the sort of calculating side she has at the end of the manga with Momiji and the stubborn one with Ritsu. The problem was that you never pointed out who you were doing and the way I found out was to count letters. Make sure to clarify.

I really want to see the dance between Haru and Yuki, very pretty and there was a nice metaphor concerning water but how would it feel to actually be water? I enjoy your emotions in this, you really short write some poetry, it'd be awesome. I think you should include more action when describing the dance, but then I'd be at a loss too since I'm not a dancer, or am physically skilled.

Where is Kagura's father? I know that he isn't shown in the manga but Takuya states that she has one. Also, I'd like to see examples of what kind of "haunted" you're talking about, like ghosts or cadavers? I'm unsure about the age since it appears to keep changing, unless I'm wrong. The emotions are nice and I enjoyed how you pointed out some boundaries. The chapter was really really sweet! I have to put this on my favorites as well!

I think the way you have Haru is adorable but I'm unsure whether Kagura would call him "sweetie" it sounds a little OOC. You have nice interaction between the characters but perhaps stronger emotions can be included. I love Kagura's reasonings about Kyo, somehow although they look selfish they are sweet. Or to some effect anyway. Wow Shigure is so blunt!

This fic definitely had me thinking about the future of Fruits Basket and if Kyo and Kagura become any closer?

Anyway fantastic work

~Myst

I love the characterization you've given Hiro, I'm slightly envious because I can never do well being Hiro no matter how hard I try. I also think it's adorable how his mind stays focussed on Kisa, too cute. I can actually imagine Hatori having an inner clock and you have fabulous nonverbal communication in this chapter. There are a couple spelling mistakes and awkward sentences, and I don't quite understand what Hiro has against my precious Haru. I love the intensity you give the situation between Akito and Kisa, since this is from Hiro's perspective it's brilliant! You also get Ritsu's character down near-perfect, I could never do it this well.

Four Months Earlier:

You have great descriptions and I like how Rin pushes Hiro's head down, cute bit of confort. Spectacular dynamics but I think I've said that in every fic and I enjoyed the HaruxRin inclusion with them together. More than that I loved seeing the other side of Haru, a near perfect chapter.

~Myst

These next couple of reviews might be a little different since I've been writing them on printouts of the fic and not on the computer, but I hope to give you my full thoughts

I like the description that Haru gives to the others in their methods or "uses" [Ayame proves far more effective]. I like the simile about the lens, I thought that was pretty and I agree full heartedly with the Haru/Yuki relationship, that has been my favorite for a while. I'm slightly confused to why you said Haru and Yuki switched heights since I think Haru is always slightly taller. I like the characterization you give to Yun since he really is monotone. You should watch the amount of times you repeat words and what words can be omitted [example: totally, really etc.], a couple sentences can also be combined. Wow Aya is really mean T_T poor Yun-Yun. There are a couple places where you use plural nouns when it's not necessary [ex: "in his rooms"] Also "not for between the two of them but with everyone else." is weird phrasing, if you adapt/change this it will be easier to comprehend the meaning. During the dialog focus on nonverbal movements however I love the subject of your conversations, wonderful.

One of the things that sucks out to me was "she's been not-eating", did you mean "she's not been eating"? I personally love The Others, a couple years ago it was in my top 10 movies but things such as "The Holiday", "Devil Wears Prada" and "Sweeny Todd" have kicked it out of position. I've never heard the phrase bottoms be used when considering a number. I adore the phrases from Rin isn't breaking and but we're still here.'

Two Years Earlier:

There are some things in here that aren't specific or clear enough but I like your tone. There seems to be some child psychology issues again but it's cute. In fact on this printout I wrote cute about seven times. I'm unsure of the age but Haru might be four, since you already stated Momiji was fourteen I think and I don't feel that a four year old would get drunk 0.0 would they even know what 'getting drunk' meant?

A lot of your theories are good and I love how accurate you are about, well everything, including physical qualities. I admire how powerful your emotions are at the end and it ends damn near perfect.

Great work

~Myst

Note: I think you should put the character's name in with the chapter title to remind the reader of who's POV it is.

Chapter Three:

Good characterization once again, alright, in response to the last response, I think you have the age right, sorry about that but I just...get picky over things like that. Aww poor Kisa, I feel really sorry for her but I can imagine her being so cute. I love how you made Hatori try like that it's so sweet. Nice plot and again I love the type of metaphors you use. Nice end to this section and statement of Akito's "godliness".

Eight Years Earlier:

I like the fact that you put a scene with Hatori and his father, why do you show me the things I'm really interested in, you're a genius. Aww, I dislike this disapproving reasoning of his father's but it is good, wouldn't he think about Akito also and the closeness Hatori will have? Nice joke about Akito but, hmm, I perceive Hatori's father in a different manner but it is good, your way and mine. I think differently about Shigure's parents but then I think I've said that before. Aww I don't think Hatori can be any better, he's perfect just as he is. Nice ending you really make use of the emotion and tension in this scene.

Great work however I must read more tomorrow since I have promised to beta for another.

~Myst

Chapter Two:

I like the feeling of doubt you initiate the fic with, and the distaste you transition into. Some of the fics at the beginning are slightly unclear, but then I think I'm asleep or something right now. Lol, I love Ayame's response, the comedy is awesome. Nice use of verbs, I've seen an upright on passive verbs and adjectives these days so it's good to hear some active verbs like barrel that one doesn't hear so much. I love the love it's very very cute and your Ayame is inspiring me to work on his character in a new fic of mine. Aww I want to see Hatori model, it would be very smexy. I think that Momiji is either fifteen or sixteen by the time he's dancing, so you've got his age a year off, unless I'm going too insane and it isn't even new years ;; I should stop multi-tasking. *hugs Hatori* the poor thing is just under too much pressure. Lol I was about to point out that error with the incanting too, I was reading and all of a sudden it was like what! *double checks*

Ten Years Earlier:

I like this scene but I'm not sure who Toshio is, *little embarrassed about that* I do like the interaction in this it's sweet but maybe provide some internal thought as you did earlier, it's nice when I can feel like I know what's going on. ;;. I think that there should be more emotion in this scene, I'm not sure how to explain it but I feel that there should be more. Great metaphors once again _ I love using them too but always forget to. Ebullient Aya, I like that, *can't remember the word I learned in AP English senior semester* but it's a nice description. I love the emotion that comes from these short sentences, I'm learning so much by reading this, about how to write I mean. A wonton? 0.0 you mean because he soaks up the moisture of the "soup", I've never actually heard that phrase before but it does stem some rather, unique mental images. Yay bonding moment o

~Myst