Enjoyed reading your story...for me it was like watching a NCIS or Criminal minds. Look forward to part 2 (I looked for it) on the development of the main characters individually and relationship

I loved this story and I want to find out what happens in the sequal please update soon looking forward to reading it you are very talented.

I liked this story, until made Cass get raped. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, since you killed off kids.

Amazing story I read a lot of good and bad authors on here and you are definitely on your way to becoming a great one

5 stars on all catagories for this story Also i do hope you make a sequel if you have not already I will look in a sec well done

I absolutely loved this story. It tugged so hard at my heart strings but the ending was brilliant. I definitely liked how you delved into the differences of both the main character's political justice systems and their cultures. It made for great contrast while developing on over lapping grey area between them. To read the villains getting their comeuppance was satisfying. Usually taking down a villain can be over killed but the speed of the story and it's plot was outstanding. And I loved the cliffhanger. Can't wait to read The Captive!

Wow... A good start, sequel would be great... How is it coming along?

Excellent story! I read it from start to finish beginning yesterday, and I am impressed. :) I must say, I cannot wait for the continuation as Vek and Cass seem like they would make an excellent team.

The only thing that worried me is there's no mention of Vek retrieving his father's naginata or destroying Al'brk'vix's body (though being an Arbitrator we assume he did).

So whatever happened to
"Watch This Fall for 'Predator: The Captive'?" Are you writing it or is this it?

Frikken amazing story :D I'm very glad he decided to take her with him.

Hello,

Great story.

But where is the sequel ?

I had forgotten how much I enjoy your stories, so full of characters that have character :)

Good story, if a bit grissly in parts for my taste, but due warning is given by the author!

So what happened to the sequel?

Nice!

A friend recommended this to me and I'm really kicking myself for not getting to it sooner. Good predator stories are so sparse anymore that I find myself trying to enjoy stories that lack plot and description and are chock full of Mary-sues! All ready I can tell your story is fresh and original. I know I can nestle in with a cup of coffee and enjoy this one. :)

This review was very difficult to write, so I hope you appreciate my best effort. I found this on AdultFanFiction but I am reviewing here.

This story is absolutely amazing. It is a well-written piece of art, definitely one of the best I've come across. You are so very talented, I love your provocative yet very emotional style of writing. It's definitely original and not clichéd! Personally, this is one of my favorite Predator stories, not only because it is very unique and different, but because it is connected in many ways to Law and Order: SVU. I'm sick of the crap that's been posted in this fandom lately, we need you to write more here to show the crap writers exactly who owns this place when it comes to talent. You are an amazing, exceptional, incredibly talented author, and I am SO glad I found your beautifully written, intense story.

The plot is incredibly different from anything else here, and it shines above most of the others like a beacon in the dark. It's amazing how you managed to bring together two very different species and have them partner together to defeat their enemies. They both helped each other to succeed where they would have failed individually. There was a lot of controversial subject material, but it was done maturely and it was not so disturbing it made me want to leave in disgust. It was perfectly done, disturbing yet not appalling. In my opinion, this is the most intense, most original plot I've ever read; it flowed at the most perfect pace.

I also enjoyed the light humor that was sprinkled around. You kept the action and intensity perfectly in balance while subtly adding humor that did not take away from the mood. It did not become overly silly and thus ruin the entire storyline, but kept in sync with the flow of the story. Great job, I enjoyed the laughs!

The way you kept so close to canon is incredible. Most writers fail at this difficult task; because the yautja are so xenophobic, it is very hard to pair them with humans in ANY way while keeping them (mostly) in character. But you did this with no problem at all. I am impressed with how in character your yautja are. You glided through this tough task with smooth ease while keeping everything intense and entertaining, as well as believable.

Also, I am very pleased you put the yautja language in italics. That is also very canon! It's rare to find a story with the yautja words properly italicized, so I am so glad you did that properly. But I think you also should have put in the translations in a separate chapter or in an author's note. I was a bit lost with some of the words but hey, it's all good! All that matters is, you did it correctly.

As for the controversial subject material, I think it was very wise to warn your audience about this. Had you not and I had read the part about the pedophile laying the dead child to rest, I would have left immediately. But you smartly warned me so I was well prepared as I began to read it. Thanks for not writing the actual act of child rape, but only elaborating on it indirectly. It was sad and disturbing, but it was done in a mature way that was not gag-inducing and leaving me to wonder if you secretly enjoy minor/major pairings.

The rape is another thing I want to mention. Thanks for not making it so insanely graphic that it would have made me sick to my stomach. Many rapes are written so explicitly and graphically it makes me question if the author is playing on sick fantasies. It was done appropriately; violent, yet brief and to the point. You didn't linger and relish the act, you had it happen and then ended it. It was an appropriate add-on and it didn't take anything away from this intensely written story. If anything, it upped the action and thirst for justice.

Al'brk'vix is a real bad-äss. I like how he is different from average yautja in that he is shortish, stocky, and built like a runner. You wisely elaborate on why he turned into a Bad Blood. He is an amazing antagonist with such a vicious personality; in no way is his characterization lacking, the coward.

Vek'rin'ka is very colorful in his personality, his style, and just everything about him in general. I really like how you portray him with so many raging emotions that continually develops him all the way to the end. He never once grows dull and keeps the audience on their toes, as he is as unpredictable as he is deadly. Great job on him, 100 % anti-Gary Stu!

Cass is very wonderfully portrayed as the headstrong detective who is very passionate about what she does. When disaster strikes, though, instead of just shrugging her shoulders and going about her day as though nothing happened, she falls apart from her grief. That is the most realisitc approach and very anti-Mary Sue. I wouldn't have believed her if she had, after losing three important people in her life back to back, just taken it in stride and gotten on with her life immediately. If it hadn't been for Vek'rin'ka, she would have never found Sonya's killer; she and the Arbitrator were excellent allies in every way shape and form.

There are so many heart-wrenching things in this story, so many angsty moments that left me in tears. Even when Wrk'va took his life "with the same dagger his mother had given him" to regain some of his honor, I couldn't help but burst into tears. It was so dämn realistic and heartbreaking. Also, Cass's grief was so intense I had to pause several times to collect myself before reading on. Every emotional aspect was done exceptionally well, making it an emotional roller coaster for the reader. Awesome job!

The only mistake I saw that was a bit repetitive was randomly switching from past tense to present tense and back again. It didn't happen too often, but enough for me to notice and point out. But other than that, everything was near perfect!

I really do hope you write a sequel… usually sequels are absolute failures (like A Union of Convenience II by Keen), but I have utmost faith and confidence in you that you will create another piece as divine and creative as this one. You are so very talented and I enjoyed this mesmerizing story greatly. Thanks so much for posting it on both here and AFF!

• Shay

P.S. - How's about updating U'slkwe? ;)