Aw man, you had to go and make Marty a creepoid?! Not cool.

I liked it Good Job...NOTE:Dont read it at night time in the dark or it is 4x scarier:)
Kind of reminds me of Phantom of the Opera with that rose thing and stalking...lol
GOOD JOB
-Savannah GilVe B-

Okay, why is Rory staying at her mom's when she and Jess live half an hour away? And why stay apart when they have been living together for months? Rory should have spoken up here, as should Lorelai. Luke's being very stupid and hypocritical since he's sleeping with Lorelai and they aren't married.

I really like this story, but it could use some serious editing. No offense, but you grammar could use some work. There are tons of people willing to beta work on here these days. I bet if you poked around you could find one. Other than that, the story was cute.

Is it Marty?

i'm glad that we finally discover who the mystery guy was. i was starting to suspect

I realize that I’m a little late on this review seeing as how I’m reviewing this fic now that’s over with. It’s a good story you have here, a little long, but good nonetheless. I never thought it was Marty. At first I figured that it was Christopher, Logan or Dean.

Now for a little constructive only disappointing part of this fic was the Lane/Dave pairing. I realize that there are those who don’t like the Lane/Zach pairing, and that’s fine. However like many of the fanfics that I have read over the years, apparently people have a hard time writing multiple pairings. They can develop the main characters getting together, but with other characters it seems rather forced, like they tried to hard to get them together.

Look you want Lane and Dave together, make Lane and Zach splitting up believable. Have the two of them argue about Zach not trusting her. Don’t just write than Lane tells Rory “Zach doesn’t trust me. I’m dumping him.” Develop it a little bit more. You write scenes with Lane and Dave, but nothing with Lane and Zach. When authors do this, it shows how much they don’t like a certain pairing. Don’t make it obvious build on Zach and Lane having a falling out. Also the idea of Lane and Dave getting back together at least in this story is rather lame. Lane wants to call Dave and see if he’ll come back to her or however you put it, that’s not exactly believable.

I forget do Lane and Dave keep in regular contact with each other? If they do, use that as for Lane and Zach breaking up. Maybe Dave can stop by for a visit and they reconnect. You do a good job with the Lorelei/Luke pairing, then again they are together. Jess and Rory getting back together is good, the Lane/Dave pairing needs a little work that's all.

Well, keep up the good work.

Ja Ne

NO! LOGAN? why can't it be lorelei? or Luke? or Lane? JEEZ! at least its not Marty. that would just... ugh, dont EVEN wanna think about that!

oh... its not Tristin... well then, nvm!

i dont think it's Loga- holy crap... IS IT TRISTIN? OH HECK NO! that guy? he was weird. always called Rory 'Mary'? i mean what the freaking hullis was that? Although... the actor is foine!

-coughcoughcough- oh EW! i just had a freaking GROSS thought! What if it were KURK? OH EW! EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW!

Shag that boy till HE can't walk. thats what you'll do!

So I'm enjoying the story - I've just read 18 chapters straight through - but the grammar is bugging me. It's not that hard to stick to a point of view. 1st of 3rd, please make up your mind! Sometimes you switch halfway though a sentence. Also, there is no such place as Stars Hallow. Gilmore Girls is set in Stars HOLLOW!

But other than those gripes, I'm enjoying the plot.

loved it.

good job