update update!

update real soon... please!

GOd that was hot!

Hello. I've come to offer my services for your story; I read it and just had to say something.

You need to do some editing. In the Harry Potter books, the only people who can use wandless magic are Voldemort and Dumbledore. Sara is nowhere near their caliber, unless she's lived for decades and practiced intensely. In fact, Sara is just too dang perfect. She can do wandless magic, play Quidditch, learn everything, make every boy drool over her. To quote you, "As soon as she sat down, about 6 boys went to sit down beside her." She copies Harry's "Not Slytherin" thing. Come on, give her some originality; I know you can. Give her a painful inadequacy at Charms, or a love for knitting doilies, or something!

Also, no student could attack and humiliate a teacher like Snape (with wandless magic, no less) and get away with just detention. Even Harry Potter, the Boy Who Live, the boy who everyone adores, was nearly expelled for smashing into the Whomping Willow in second year. Attacking a teacher gets you booted out, no matter HOW talented you are. Sara just shouldn't be able to do that.

Now for the whole spy thing. She never DOES any spying. She only gets caught by Voldemort and the Death-Eaters-and she gets away into detention with a calm, glib face? Even Dumbledore is rattled by the thought of Voldemort, never mind facing him, and Sara can just go through it and still make Snape look stupid? If I came back from Voldemort, I'd be so freaked out I wouldn't CARE if Snape saw me sneak into class.

I won't go into the sex scenes, except to say they are pointless and make no sense. A good girl like Sara, saying she might join the dark side just so Lucius Malfoy will touch her? That's horrible! She's been fighting him and sending him back through time; why would she suddenly enjoy him touching her?

Also, I see necessary to warn you that we in the MSTers club have made a Mystery Science Theater version of your story. Don't worry; we don't plan to post it on the Internet anywhere without your express permission, which I wouldn't blame you for denying. However, as a member of the club, I am required to ask, would you let us post it? Feel free to respond to me: ecassell fas.

Benedictions.

plz update! i love it! make it longer

I love this story i am gonna tell all my friends about it keep writeing!

Great story! I cant wait to read more you are very good at writing never give up!